Playing Cops and Vloggers
by LyricalKris
Summary: So you're standing in line for coffee, minding your own business, when a sexy cop with nerdy tattoos walks into your life. Soon, you have yourself a sexy, nerdy cop boyfriend who rocks your world. Cops can't be seen on social media, did you know that? Bella didn't. That was going to be a challenge considering she made her living as a vlogger who documented her so-called nerdy life.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Here we go, my friends, on another journey. Based on the Tidbit requested by Shahula. Everyone and their mother requested more of Coward and Nerdella, so here we go. Many thanks for the brilliant title goes to Love Potions Brewer.**

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It was hecka early.

Bella preferred to think of the time from four to five-thirty in the morning as a paradox. She typically refused to acknowledge they existed unless she hadn't been to bed yet. They were definitely not numbers she liked to see on her alarm. Ever.

She tightened her sweater around her, warding against the chill of the morning as she stumbled blearily down the street. She dug through her pocket and dragged out her phone. It took her a minute to concentrate. She only had to wake up enough to do a quick tidbit. Checking her image on the screen, she adjusted her glasses, brushed her hair out of her eyes, and flicked the record button.

"Do you see this?" Bella pointed her phone's camera at the sky before she turned it back to face her. "This is dark enough to be considered still nighttime. Why, Bella? Why are you awake, ready-and I use that term very loosely-to face a full day before the sun has bothered to amble its ass up into the sky? Because I'm a nerd.

"Not only am I a nerd, I'm a mega-nerd. My nerdom conflicts with my fervent desire to be curled into a cat-like shape on my comfortable bed with my fuck-awesome, memory foam mattress, under my Marauder's Map comforter with my furry, also-warm baby puppy curled up all sweet beside me." She sighed, glancing at the camera with an expression of deep woe. "My being a nerd means I'm on much more familiar, though never friendly, terms with four and five in the morning than I ever wanted to be. But why, Bella? What does your enjoyment of and fascination with nerd culture have to do with how early you get up? Aren't you, as a nerd, more likely to sleep in because you were out so late at midnight premieres or binge-watching The X-Files on a whim?

"No. For one simple word: conventions. It's convention time again. I'm super excited," she deadpanned. "No. For realsies. I am." She came to a stop on the sidewalk, yawning. "You know by now what it takes to activate the Bella-bot." She turned her phone so it faced the shop she was outside of, making a ta-dah trumpeting noise. She turned the phone back to her. "Time to tithe to the Starbucks gods. I'll be back when restorative coffee has made me human again."

She switched off the video, shoved her phone in her pocket, and allowed her mind to go back onto auto-pilot. She'd used up her allotment of brain power until the more reasonable hour of eight a.m., and that was pushing it.

Fucking conventions. And fuck the people who still thought nerds lived in their Mom's basement, woke up at one in the afternoon, and stumbled to their couch to play video games. This was the antithesis of lazy.

Once she had arrived at her first of what promised to be many lines of the day, Bella took her heavy bag off, setting it on the floor. She opened the pack and rummaged, making sure she had all she needed-laptop, signable merch, chargers, portable chargers, Kindle, signal booster for her phone, mobile hotspot-for the umpteenth time. As a professional nerd, she was prepared for anything convention day would throw at her. No cosplay this time around, so at least she didn't have to think about that.

Now, her one and only goal was coffee. Not a foo-foo la-la drink that had a drop of espresso in it that masqueraded as coffee in Starbucks. Coffee. Venti with two pumps hazelnut.

"Real coffee," Bella muttered under her breath and nodded. She could add the cream and sugar herself.

"Did you say something?"

Bella jumped, startled by the disembodied voice closer to her than random background conversation allowed. She craned her head.

Oh. No. Not a disembodied voice. The voice was very much embodied. It was a nice body. At least, it was a nice chest. Guy chest. Muscular. The kind of curves that felt good under her hands. She looked up.

"Whoa," she said.

What? It was _early._ And his eyes were green. Jade and alive. As she blinked up at him, his lips tugged up at one corner, drawing her attention there. Full lips. A bit chapped, but-

He cleared his throat. Bella blinked and looked back up at his eyes. "What?" she said. Her brain was just not working yet.

Right. Staring wasn't socially acceptable behavior. She knew that.

 _Fuck you. Anything short of murder and molestation is socially acceptable behavior at five in the morning, when I've already been up an hour._

She blinked at Mr. Nice Eyes again. "What?"

He chuckled. "You need coffee."

She looked around, double-checking that she hadn't wandered somewhere she wasn't supposed to be. "I heard they sell that here."

"You might be on to something."

As the guy spoke, he scratched his neck, tugging at the collar of his shirt.

Bella gasped. "No way. Is that a Star Wars tattoo?"

She froze, mortified. There was so much wrong with that simple sentence. First of all, she knew damn well most if not all of the people in Starbucks at this ungodly hour of the not-quite-morning were probably going to the convention. Of course it was a Star Wars tattoo. It wasn't as though there was going to be a lack of nerdy tattoos around.

Secondly, and much worse, was the fact that Bella had yanked down the collar of this total stranger's shirt to expose his ink. Her sleep-addled brain had been two seconds too slow to remind her that wasn't acceptable behavior

"Sorry," she said, giggling nervously as she drew her hand back as if scalded. Then she groaned, realizing for the first time the guy's shirt was dark blue and adorned familiar buttons and markings. He was a cop. "I'm sorry, sir. I mean officer. I mean sir." She tapped on his nameplate. "Officer Cullen." Realizing she was still tapping, she tucked her hands under her arms and squinted at him. "This is how people get thrown in jail for assaulting an officer, isn't it?"

He raised both eyebrows, his lips twitching, but he didn't answer. Bella, cheeks flaming, forced herself to turn around to face front. "Okay. Shutting up now."

She heard a rustle and swore she could feel the heat of a body close to hers. "It is, in fact, a Star Wars tattoo," he said, his voice, soft and rumbling near her ear, sending a delightful shiver down her spine.

Bella twisted around and was struck again. Good lord, he did have a nice face. His eyes seemed darker now, dancing-teasing, way more awake than she was. His smile hinted at mischief. She licked her lips.

"Next?"

Remembering suddenly they weren't the only two people on the planet, Bella stumbled forward. She tried to remember what the hell she was doing. Christ, she needed coffee.

Oh, right. Coffee.

"Venti coffee. Two pumps hazelnut," she said by rote.

"Room for cream?"

"No." They always left too much room for cream if she let them. Bella needed all the coffee she could get.

The barista scanned her app for payment, and Bella stepped off to the side. "Crap," she said under her breath, realizing she hadn't been prepared after all. She noted Officer Bedroom Eyes watching her with bemusement as he stepped up to give his order. "I need to tip her better than the app lets me," she explained though no one had asked. She finally got a hold of her wallet. "They deserve bookoo bucks for having to put up with people's neurotic coffee orders this early in the morning. People are bastards."

He arched an eyebrow, his eyes on her even as he gave his order to the barista. "Trente passion tea with three pumps classic syrup, sub apple juice instead of water."

Bella's cheeks flamed. She pressed her lips together-she wouldn't have known what to say after putting her foot that far in her mouth even if she was wide awake-shoved a five dollar bill in the barista's tip jar, grabbed the coffee she proffered, and hurried off to the side.

She tried to concentrate on preparing her coffee, lamenting once again about why the hell she had to be up so early. Why couldn't they sell convention seating like concert tickets? She would rather pay an exorbitant fee for a better seat than suffer indignities like this because she had to be up at the ass crack of dawn.

A shape leaned up against the wall, facing Bella. It was the cop, waiting for his horrible order.

Yeah, she didn't care how hot he was. That order would have made her want to punch him in the face if she was a barista. That was why she tipped them so well, though. The girl had taken it like a champ.

The cop was also looking at her. She could feel his eyes on her and couldn't help but look up. His grin now was crooked, and that gave her pleasant tinglies. "I have others, you know."

She cocked her head, pushing her glasses up her nose. "What?"

"Tattoos." He pushed off the wall, closing the scant distance between them under the guise of making room for another man. "I have others."

Bella stirred her coffee, trying to process. She cast a furtive glance up at the cop. "You know, if I ask you where the other ones are, and you arrest me for harassment, that'd be entrapment."

He laughed. "Can't get anything past you."

"I'm clever that way," she said, snapping the lid of her coffee back on.

He ducked his head, again speaking into her ear so she felt his voice like a vibration against her skin. "I'd tell you, but they're in third date kind of places." He pulled back, his eyes on hers.

Her heart skipped a beat. It took a considerable amount of willpower to school her features. "Popular theory suggests to secure a third date, you first have to secure a first date."

First, first? _What the fuck, Bella_.

He turned briefly to the counter to collect his drink from the barista and turned back, grinning at Bella. "Are you free tonight?"

It was distinctly possible she wasn't-the convention was rarely over when the doors closed for the day-but at that point, she didn't care. "I think I can arrange that." She ducked down, opening the front pocket of her bag and taking out a set of Sharpies.

The cop chuckled. "You're prepared."

She tilted her head so she could eye him from behind her glasses. "They're for autographs. You know there are famous people right over there, right?" She gestured in the vague direction of the convention center.

He leaned in, his fingertips brushing her side as he spoke. "Can I have _your_ autograph?"

Fuck, her nipples were hard. She had to swallow down a whimper. Her eyes still on him, she reached out and grabbed his drink, glad it was icy to the touch. She broke his stare long enough to scrawl Jedi Bella Swan on his cup, and then her number.

"May the Force be with you," she said, handing his cup back.

And then she got the hell out of Dodge.

Once outside, when the cold air cooled her overheated skin and she could think as clearly as was possible at five fifteen in the morning, she dug her phone out of her pocket. She had a text message from a number she didn't recognize.

 _Padawan Officer Edward Cullen, by the way. Nice to meet you, Bella Swan._

Bella gave a little squeak and quickly looked around to see if anyone had heard her. She flipped her camera on and pressed record. "Guys, I've found something much better than coffee to wake you up in the morning."

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 **A/N: Many thanks to JessyPt, Songster, barburella, MoH, and Packy for making my docs a wonderful, colorful place.**

 **Well, what are we thinking, kiddos?**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: The response to this was amazing. I'm a little nervous. Fluff isn't my forte!**

 **This chapter was a little interactive. I'm going to be posting pictures to go along with the story in my group on Facebook. Come join us if you haven't already. It's called Stories of LyricalKris (incredibly creative, I know).**

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"Why, why, why did I think this was a good idea?" Bella grumbled to herself as she hurried through the hotel lobby. The elevator door was open. She sprinted and skidded inside, catching herself on the railing. She huffed, meeting the eyes of one of the hotel's employees in the elevator mirror.

Turning around, she attempted a smile. "Pretty guys—or girls—make everyone do crazy things, right?"

The man smiled tightly and nodded his head as he surreptitiously pressed the button for an upcoming floor. "Have a nice evening, ma'am," he said, getting off the elevator.

As soon as the elevator doors closed, Bella stuck her tongue out. "It's convention season. If I'm the weirdest thing you've seen so far, boy, are you in for a treat."

Finally, the door opened on her floor. Bella darted out, checking her phone again as if time had managed to roll back in the last ten minutes instead of forward. No such luck.

Once in her room, Bella went straight for the closet. She sighed. Her own closet at home was forty-five minutes away, but, as a seasoned conventioner, she'd brought a few date-appropriate, cute items. She dragged them out, double checked them for tears or any other disasters. She hung them on the curtain rod that went over the window.

Giving herself a few seconds for one last check on the aesthetics of the room, Bella fired up her laptop.

"Hey, guys," she said to the self-facing camera. "Emergency vlog time. I'm in desperate need of your help." She put on a panicked expression that was only partially faked. "Just want to point out—emergency implies no editing, okay? Okay.

"So first, I have a confession. I know you're expecting me to be all about the con, and I've got some good stuff coming up for you guys, I swear. You'll get a nice, edited video just like I planned. It'll be great." She waved her hand. "Here's the thing. I met a guy."

She couldn't keep a straight face at that. "Oh, my god. That was so dramatic. But it's true. I have a date. I have a date in…" She glanced at the clock and yelped in alarm. "Shit. An hour. I have to leave here in one hour. Cripes. Okay. I'm going to take a shower, but I need you guys to make a decision for me. You know I'm notoriously bad at girl-ing, and Alice isn't here, so it's all you."

Bella toggled the front-facing camera and centered the image. "Okay, so. As you can see, there's no point in hiding my nerddom. We have choice A. Bucky Barnes, aka the Winter Soldier inspired dress. Cute but kind of classic. It's subtle nerd.

"Choice B, the Wookie dress. Cute and furry. I love this dress.

"Choice C, Star Wars eclectic. Clever. Simple. Cute as hell. A pet AT-AT. Come on. How awesome is that?

"Okay, so you guys do what you do best. Vote via comment. I'm going to jump in the shower."

Bella uploaded the video to her Youtube channel and didn't wait to see what happened. She jumped in the shower. Washed off her most pertinent parts, gave her legs an inadvisably quick shave, and hopped out again.

Wrapped in a towel, she did a quick tally. Because she knew her followers would crucify her if she didn't, Bella started a quick video. "Hey, I'm back. Mostly naked. Scandalous. The C's have it." She laughed. "Yeah, you're right, guys. B is a third date kind of dress. The fur encourages stroking. He's hot, no doubt, but he has to earn it. Thanks for your help. Real post tomorrow. Swear."

Bella hit the upload, grabbed her dress—a simple cut black dress with a little girl leading an AT-AT, a transport vehicle from Star Wars, by a leash—and hurried back into the bathroom.

Thirty minutes later, she was dressed. Her hair was up in a bun held together by two lightsaber hair sticks. She spun around, checking herself out as best she could. "Ugh. There's a reason I don't do this often," she muttered to herself.

Generally speaking, Bella wasn't a huge fan of dates. It just went to show, there was nothing good that came out of anything that happened between the hours of four and six in the morning.

Why the hell had she made an exception for this guy? It had seemed so natural to say yes to him; she hadn't even thought about it.

Oh, well. Too late now. She could kick herself tomorrow about all the lost editing time. Oh, who the hell was she kidding? She was probably missing out on drinks with her fellow nerds. Upside? She wouldn't have to check herself before she fangirled over a minor celeb or a fellow vlogger.

Bella jumped when her phone chimed with the tone she'd set for Edward's call. Her heart went nuts. She wiped her palms against her dress and glared at herself in the mirror. "You talk to rooms full of people every day. You can handle one cop."

Holding her head up high, Bella made her way down to the lobby.

He was standing in the drive, leaning against a silver Volvo. His arms were crossed, his head tilted down. His hair—neat and tidy that morning—now looked carefully tousled. He looked up, and Bella's step faltered.

Weak-in-the-knees green. Just...guh.

She didn't think the missed step was too noticeable. At least, he didn't smirk. His eyes swept over her. His mouth quirked up at one corner, and he ran his thumb over his lower lip as he pushed off the car.

"It's a good thing you didn't take too long," Edward said. "They were about to call the cops on me for blocking their drive."

Two could play at the half-cocked grin thing. Bella tilted her head up. "It is kind of a dick move."

He opened the passenger door. "Then let's get out of the way, shall we?"

"Oh, if you insist."

"That dress is adorable," Edward said when he got in the car. He pulled out into traffic.

"Oh, adorable. Okay. I'll take that," she said, teasing. "So where are we going?"

"Not out for coffee, I'll tell you that much." He risked a glance at her. "I know how you feel about my coffee habits."

"Ah, first of all, you didn't order coffee. You ordered an abomination. I'd still go with you, because I'm brave."

Bella pressed her lips together, regretting that little outburst instantly, but Edward just laughed. "So brave. Just because you're so straight laced with your coffee. Two pumps hazelnut. That's your wild streak, eh?"

"Hey, I'm not a coffee prude. I know how to live it up, but less is more. You can special order, but do it in a way that doesn't make someone want to kill you."

"Oh, so this is a talent you have?"

"You want to know what I order at Starbucks. When I don't need restorative coffee anyway?"

"An iced coffee with three pumps hazelnut?" He asked with an innocent air.

"Hah. No. I get a venti refresher, half hibiscus, half cool lime." She swept her hand out. "See? Easy. Simple. Delicious."

"You sure do know how to live it up." Edward tapped on the steering wheel, turning. "We're not going far. Do—"

Bella gasped, turning to look out the window. "Was that the Last Bookstore?"

"Yeah."

She turned to him. "Oh, man. I'm sorry. Can we maybe stop? Please? I've seen this place on Tumblr, and I've always wanted to see it. It's so stupid. I live in Orange county. It's not like it's that far, but I've never been."

"Sure, we can go. I've never been either."

They pulled into a parking lot around the corner. "I'm sorry," Bella said as they got out. "That's probably obnoxious. To interrupt whatever you had planned. I should probably tell you now I don't know how to date."

"I don't think there are rules," Edward said. He sounded amused. "But to be honest, I wouldn't know. I don't date very often. It's like the blind leading the blind here."

"You don't date?" Bella couldn't quite keep the note of incredulity out of her voice.

"Dating is kind of annoying. It's strange when you think about it. You pick a random person, one person out of seven billion, and take them on a test run. I don't mean that in a crude way."

"No, I understand." She glanced up at him. "You pick a random spaz in a coffee shop. Someone who hassles you about your coffee order, messes up your plans, and doesn't even live in Los Angeles."

He grinned, leaning toward her. "That last did throw me for a loop. I'm not going to lie. And it was so obvious when I thought about it for five seconds. Most everyone in that area was there for the convention. Of course you weren't from here." He shrugged. "But Orange County isn't bad."

"Oh, well. I'm glad I pass muster so far."

He reached past her to open the door of the bookshop. His eyes were soft, his smile sexy as ever. "Well, as you know from my rogue Starbucks orders, I'm not a huge fan of rules. And I think you'll find, I'm quick on my feet. Changes to the plan aren't a bad thing."

"Especially not when there's a bookstore involved," Bella said, excitement getting the better of her. She looked inside, her eyes going wide. "Wow, this place is huge."

They checked her purse in—bags weren't allowed in the store—and Bella had to stop herself from bouncing as they entered. She tried to play it cool, but the place was too much. It was a warehouse-sized space filled with books. She craned her neck, taking in a huge art piece on the wall made of old books. "Whoa."

She spun around in a circle, taking it all in. She jumped when she came face to face with Edward. Her cheeks flushed. She'd forgotten she was supposed to be trying to impress him or whatever people did on dates. "Sorry. Just...books."

He looked charmed more than anything, but that might have been Bella's wishful thinking. He reached out, and his fingers brushed her arm. "It's a pretty cool place."

It was one of those strange moments. Their eyes met, and it was as though someone had put a magnet right at Bella's belly. She swayed, caught in his stare. Time slowed.

Someone brushed by them, breaking the moment. Bella fumbled for her phone to cover the deepening blush. She gave him a sheepish smile. "You know a billion people have taken this picture. I've seen this picture." She aimed her phone at the high wall and snapped the artwork. "But this one is mine."

They wandered, talking about their favorite books, and ended up on the second floor. "Oh, there it is," Bella said, delighted. "This is the room I wanted to see."

The top floor was set up like a small labyrinth. There was a wall of books with a hole in it—a popular posing spot—and directly behind that, there was a tunnel made of books. She handed Edward her phone. "Would you mind?"

"Of course not."

Bella posed in the hole in the books, spreading her hands on either side as though she was trying to climb out of the labyrinth.

"Good, good," Edward said, snapping the picture. "Now like a victorian portrait."

Playing along, Bella posed as though the hole was a picture frame, clasping her hands and smiling in that small, secretive way.

"Awesome. Vamp it up, girl," Edward said, snapping another picture.

As he spoke, he stepped closer to get better pictures, until he was leaning up against the other side of the book wall. Bella was flushed, laughing. She leaned forward sticking her head through the hole, but whatever she was about to say flew right out of her head when he tilted his head down and kissed her.

Bella hadn't processed what was happening before Edward broke the kiss, taking a step back. "Sorry," he said, sounding breathless. "That was… You're just adorable. And beautiful."

Bella blinked, wondering vaguely if it was possible to get stoned in an instant. That was how she felt. Her brain was fuzzy. She couldn't quite process what he said.

Her body knew what to do though. She reached through the hole, grasping his shirt, and pulling him down again. Pressing up onto her tiptoes, she kissed him. A good kiss. She felt the small vibration of his sigh on her lips.

It didn't last long. She straightened up, looking at him. She knew her eyes were probably wide as saucers, but she was frozen in his stare, unsure of what had just happened. It was like being hit by a freight train that exploded into a cloud of glitter.

His lips turned up. "What is it with you yanking people's shirts? That's a nasty habit."

Bella, realizing she still had his shirt in her fist, let him go and stepped back. "Shit. Sorry."

"I don't mind being manhandled," he said with a wink.

She came around to join him and had to stop herself from grabbing him again. "Oh, man. You wore that shirt on purpose."

He cast her an angelic look. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Uh huh." She gasped. "You have another one on the other side. I thought you said they were in third date kinds of places."

He smirked. "I said I have Star Wars tattoos in third date kinds of places, not that they were my only ones."

"Can I see? The ones on your collarbone, I mean."

Something dark and mischievous glinted in his eyes, but he behaved himself. "Sure," he said, and he tilted his head to give her better access.

Electricity shot through her veins. It seemed so intimate. Her throat tightened as she touched her fingers to his skin. His gaze held hers for so long, she almost forgot the whole point of touching him like this was to look down at his tattoos.

The original one, the one she'd seen in the coffee shop, was the symbol of the Rebel Alliance. "Oh, wow," she said on a breath. Up close, she could see that the inside was detailed with the markings of the Millennium Falcon.

Opposite that was the symbol of the Empire. A simple tattoo given how intricate the opposite was. "So you have a little wickedness in you, hmm?" Bella teased, letting her fingertip trace the edge of the design.

He caught her hand by the wrist. Bella caught a gasp before it could squeak out. She bit the inside of her cheek, looking up at him.

"Just a little," he said, his voice low and husky.

She held her breath, sure he was about to kiss her again. Her heart pounded in anticipation.

A trio of giggling girls came around the corner then, reminding them they weren't alone. They stepped away from each other.

"Come on," Bella said. "This is the picture I really need. Under the arch."

"Oh, of course."

She glanced at him, inexplicably shy. "You want to take a picture with me? We could ask those girls."

His lips twitched down. "Ah. I don't do social media."

"Oh." Bella said. "You're one of those."

He arched an eyebrow in challenge. "You judging?"

"No," she lied. "I know your kind exists, but I've never seen you in the wild."

"It's a diminishing breed, I know," he said, crossing his arms and giving her a look. "The kind who manages to enjoy life without having to document every minute of it for strangers on the Internet."

Bella winced, but she managed to cover her reaction quickly. "Now who's judging? I'll have you know, I'm a big deal on the Internet."

"I believe you," he said in a tone that indicated he didn't.

Bella let it go. He was teasing, and he had no way of knowing what she did for a living. Of course, it would have been nice to reveal that it was him who'd stuck his foot in his mouth this time, but she was having too much fun to go there.

They strolled, Bella pausing for a few more pictures before she got down to the business of seriously browsing books. He bought her a book on Los Angeles and another book called the Book of Skulls which depicted various artwork of skulls.

"For the record, this is a thousand times better than flowers and chocolate," Bella said.

He looked back at her, a smile playing at his lips. That smile, and the look in his eyes, did wonderful things to her body. She was all tingly. He reached out and took her hand as they left the bookstore. "Did it live up to your expectations?" he asked.

She smiled back at him. "I mean, you'd really have to go out of your way to ruin a book shop for me, but this one is the most awesome I've ever been in." She shook the bag. "Plus, quirky books. I love quirky books."

He stopped, pulling her out of the way of the nighttime traffic. He curled a hand around her waist, studying her for a moment. "Did you know your whole face lights up when you talk about books?"

It was impossible to fight a smile. The tingles were back. Did _he_ know how his whole face looked dead sexy when he smiled at her like that?

What the hell was going on here? Bella had no idea, but she liked it.

Gently, she took her hand from his and took off a bracelet she had around her right wrist. She raised her hand to him, showing off the tattoo there: _Not all those who wander are lost_ , written in a flowing script. "I love words," she said. "Lyrics, scripts, books. I _love_ words. Almost all my tattoos are words."

He tilted his head. "You have tattoos?"

Now it was her turn to grin at him.. She waggled her eyebrows. "Of course I have tattoos." She pushed up onto the balls of her feet so she could whisper near his ear. "But most of them are in third date kind of places."

His eyes went dark—dangerous in that delicious, thrilling way. He tilted his head so she felt his breath hot against her skin, but he didn't kiss her as she wanted him, too. "How long are you in town, Bella?"

She forgot to breathe when he looked at her like that, when his voice was low and gravely and seemed to vibrate in her blood. She took a sharp breath through her nose. "I'm leaving Sunday." It was Friday.

"That's handy." He was teasing her. His lips were so close. "We can fit three dates in there somewhere, can't we?"

Bella had to bite the inside of her lip to keep from whimpering. She pressed her mouth into a thin line to keep from shouting, f _uck that, take me now, up against the wall. This wall. Here_.

She swallowed hard, meeting his eyes. "I could pencil you in."

That was probably a lie. Conventions were a busy time for her, but right then, she didn't care. She'd figure something out.

His grin broadened. "That's good. We can have the date I planned instead of the one you planned." He winked. "Are you hungry?"

"God, yes," Bella muttered, staring at his lips.

He seemed to be fighting a smirk. They both knew what she meant, and his eyes—the way they devoured her—told her she wasn't the only one with a craving. But he stepped back, twining their fingers together again. "There's a great Italian place a block from here. What do you think?"

 _I think I want to know what sweet and nerdy cop tastes like._ "Italian is great," Bella said, determined to be good.

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 **A/N: Well...how are we feeling, kids?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Glossary of Terms:**

 **Stucky - Steve (Captain America) + Bucky (The Winter Soldier)**

 **Shipping - When you want two characters together. So you guys ship Edward and Bella. ;) I, and most of my lovely prereaders, ship Steve and Bucky.**

 **Pwn3d - Gamerspeak for OWNED. Which means, we kicked your ass.**

 **TARDIS - the blue police box from Doctor Who**

 **N00b - Gamerspeak for newbie-usually an insult because you suck at gaming. Hehe.**

 **Cyanide and Happiness - Awesome webcomic.**

* * *

Bella didn't have to get up so early on Saturday. She opened her eyes, blinking in the soft light coming through the gauzy curtain in her hotel room.

When consciousness caught up with her, she gasped and closed her eyes again. She turned her head and warily opened one eye.

"Damn. It _was_ a dream," she mumbled, looking at the empty space beside her. She ran a hand over her lips.

And sat straight up in bed. Her eyes darted to her Star Wars dress, discarded carelessly on the floor. She looked to the curtain where the other two hung.

It had happened. Some of it, anyway. She'd dreamed the part where she threw caution to the wind and pulled him with her into the hotel elevator. She'd dreamed the part where he pressed her against the wall of the elevator, kissed her senseless, then pulled her down the hall toward her room, stopping frequently to attack her mouth with his.

How had he known where her room was? How had they gotten in? Her memory jumped from the hallway to be on her back in bed, legs in the air as he thrust, thrust, thrust.

Bella groaned and rolled over, muffling the sound against her pillow. Yeah, okay. That was all fantasy. Glorious fantasy. Her baby-making parts were aching with need. She could have had him; she knew that. And honestly, he could have had her. If either one of them had pushed, the other would have followed eagerly.

Neither had though, respecting the third date because of some asinine comment. Or was it because this felt important?

"Don't start that. It's just one damn date, Swan." Bella shook her head. She was bad at the whole dating thing, but she was pretty sure she should put off clingy until at least date two.

Right, so, none of the grasping, groping stuff had happened. That didn't make what _had_ happened any less spectacular.

They'd walked back to the hotel from where they'd eaten, just a few blocks away. It was that slow walk—their fingers entwined, strolling as they looked mostly into each other's eyes, talking, smiling.

Even at a snail's pace, it had taken way too little time to get to the hotel. Before she knew it, they were inside, standing in front of the elevator. The words were poised on Bella's lip. "Come up." And she wanted desperately to say it.

He'd sighed and stepped closer to her, taking her face between his hands. His thumbs caressed her cheeks. His eyes were conflicted. He wanted to say it too; she knew that without a doubt.

Instead, he'd kissed her. A slow, serious kind of kiss, the heat of it building. His fingertips skimmed down her shoulders, and he took her hands in his.

"Tomorrow?" he'd asked, the word rumbled against her lips.

"Yes," she said. The fact she didn't know what the hell she was agreeing to was a moot point. Anything. He could have anything.

She felt his grin against her mouth. He kissed her once more, sweetly, and stepped back. He kept her hand clasped in his until the last possible moment, smiling at her before he let her go. "I'll see you tomorrow," he said, and it was all she could do to keep herself from melting into a puddle of pliant womanhood right there on the hotel floor.

"Ugh," Bella said in real time, flopping onto her back again. Her cheeks were flushed. She bit her lip to keep back the stupid-ass grin, but it didn't work. She put her hands over her eyes.

This was ridiculous. She'd known the guy for a few hours, for fuck's sake.

Bella sat up straight and dragged her laptop over, determined to stop obsessing over Officer Panty Dropping Smile. She had to remember she was here to work. She'd promised her viewers a proper video. That was what they expected from her.

Ten minutes later, she shut the laptop again, thoroughly thwarted in her forget-Edward plan. There were a lot of comments on the emergency video she'd made. There were messages pouring in from every avenue of social media.

Her traitorous viewers didn't want to know about the con. The increase in messages wasn't about who she'd brushed elbows with; they were all about her mysterious date. They wanted the deets. They wanted to know if she was waking up now, already pregnant with his super sperm. Most of them had seen her pictures of the Last Bookstore. Books were an aphrodisiac, they claimed.

"That explains a lot," Bella muttered to herself. She couldn't be held responsible for the fact her clothes threatened to fall off when someone took her to an amazing bookstore and bought her books on top of that.

Whatever. She would be more in control of herself tonight.

Tonight! Bella squeaked and flopped over onto the bed again. She grabbed her pillow and screamed into it gleefully.

What the fuck was wrong with her? She was giddy. She hadn't been this giddy even when she was a schoolgirl, so what kind of fresh fuckery was this?

The man was making her silly, but oh well. She could handle it as long as she was the only one who had to see it.

Bella got up, showered, and made herself presentable. She put on her glasses and sat cross legged on her now-made hotel bed. She dragged her laptop onto her lap and started the video.

"Heya, pervs. As you can see, I did make it back from my date in one piece. Thanks for asking. Not that it's any of your business, but since you asked, no, he isn't still here. He was a perfect gentleman, and we had a great time."

She sighed, running a hand through her hair, fighting the smile that threatened to make her look as gone as she was for this guy. "Okay, he does have one fatal flaw that I know of. He's one of _those_ people with a disdain for social media, which is why you didn't get any pictures with him in them. And no, he doesn't know what I do for a living yet. We didn't get around to talking about that." She furrowed her brow. "Which is weird. Isn't that the first thing you ask? I mean, I forgot to ask because I know what he does. Hmm."

Bella waved a hand. "You guys ever see that movie, _17 Again_? Do not make fun of me for knowing a Zac Efron movie. You know you all like them. I still haven't seen _High School Musical_.

"Anyway. _17 Again_. His adult best friend tries to hit on the teacher, and he's so, so, so bad at it. Just breaks every rule in the book, but ends up pulling it off because they were united in nerdiness? Kind of me. I didn't get that Guide to Dating either. But it worked. End of story for now. I'll work on this fatal flaw of his. Don't worry. I'll coax him over to the dark side. We have cookies.

"But I didn't travel to the City of Angels to get a date, surprisingly enough. I'm here to work. So those of you at the con, yes, I'll be on the floor today. I have a signing at three-thirty, and I'm on the Badass Babes of the Internet panel. Thanks for the votes there. I'll see you on the floor."

 _ **~0~**_

"How does someone get a job like yours?"

Bella snorted. She was sitting behind a table, her head bent as she doodled on a page inside her book. The book bore the same name as her Vlog—My So Called Nerdy Life—and was full of a random mish-mash of things that appealed to her. Doodling was one of her signature traits, which was why she had left doodle spaces every handful of pages of her book. And, of course, it was what her fans wanted when they went to a signing—her signature and a bonafide Bella doodle.

"You know, I get this question so often, and I still don't know how to answer it." She handed the book back to the guy, open to her doodle of a downright creepy pair of eyes staring out. She grinned when she saw him shudder. "The short answer is, you gotta have an audience, but you should ask yourself what you're doing here. It's a mystery to me. Is it because I'm out of the closet as being a Trekkie who only likes the new Trek?"

A couple of people booed while others cheered. "Hey, everyone's thinking it; I'm just saying it. Is it because of my extensive collection of extraordinarily nerdy backpacks that I use as purses?" She lifted up the TARDIS backpack from its place at her feet. "You guys tell me why you buy my crap and wait in obnoxious lines." She balked. "Whoa. That's heavy when you think about it."

"I want a doodle!" Someone in the crowd shouted.

Bella grinned. "Yeah, but did you know the guys who do _Cyanide and Happiness_ are just three booths that way?" She pointed down the aisle. "They'll sign your book _and_ do a custom doodle for you right there. But their doodles are like a mini comic, not some random bullshit. They'll probably figure out a way to work a penis into the drawing, like you do. Why aren't you all at their table, huh?"

"You're funnier than them," someone else said.

Bella laughed and blushed, pleased. "Let's just agree that I'm lucky you have really bad taste." She reached out for the next book. "Got a request, sweetheart?"

The girl—she had to be about thirteen if that—flushed happily. "Anything you want," she said.

Shy little cutie. Bella smiled and flipped the book open to her favorite spot. Going off the girl's bag—shaped like a mushroom from Mario Brothers—she started to doodle various Mario Bro's images.

"So are you going out with that guy again?" The girl asked, not too shy afterall. "Is that why you pulled out of the Bloggers Ball?"

Caught by surprise, Bella's hand skipped, sending an jagged line through her doodle. She cleared her throat and looked up at the girl. "Ah, I'm not much of a dancer anyway," she said easily, trying to brush it off.

The girl wouldn't be deterred. "But is it because of the guy? Because it was on your schedule up until this morning, and that's the only thing that's changed."

Bella huffed. Most of the time, she liked her life. She wasn't _really_ famous, so it was a novelty to let people connect with her life the way she did. Cons were the closest she got to being legit famous, and she played that up too. She always released a tentative schedule letting people know where she was going to be at any given time during the con.

Yeah, the Blogger's Ball had been on her schedule for weeks now. She'd been convinced to go in the first place by a fellow blogger. And yes, she had removed it that morning. "Yeah, it's because of the guy." Her phone buzzed, and she dug it out, glad of the potential distraction. Her eyes went wide. "Well, speak of the devil."

"Oooh, is it a sext?" Someone called out.

"Hey. I met him yesterday."

"So...is it a sext?"

Bella shook her head. Looking at Edward's message, she laughed. "You guys have seen that picture from Disneyland of Anakin with a tiny baby Padme, right? Cutest thing on the whole planet?"

Most of them knew what she was talking about. "That's what he sent me. He's late to the party, but what can you expect from someone who doesn't do social media? Poor guy."

 _ **~0~**_

For her date that night, Bella wore her Winter Soldier inspired dress. It was subtle. She would see just how far his nerdom went.

He was waiting in the lobby this time, and when he saw her, his eyes flicked down over her body. His eyes lit up, and he grinned at her, reaching out to take her hand.

"So. Team Cap, are you?" He asked, pulling her closer to him.

"All the way, man. No other team to be."

He tisked. "I can't respect a guy who sacrifices everything because of his boyfriend. I mean, best friend. Team Iron Man all the way."

"Welp, that about does it. Sorry. Date over." Bella turned on her heel and started to walk away.

He grabbed her hand and spun her back.. She splayed her hands over his chest, mock-pushing him away. "Oh, no, bucko. You lost your chance. Join Team Iron Man. That's bad enough. But never, ever, bash Stucky."

"I didn't bash Stucky. I ship Bucky and pre-serum Steve." He sighed dramatically. "It was all so simple back then."

Bella giggled and bit her lip to stop the giddy sound. She looked up at him. He had his arm around her now, his hand warm against the small of her back. "Nerd," she accused.

"Takes one to know one," he shot back, and he kissed her.

Jesus Christ, his kisses… Maybe he was a vampire. That would explain why his kisses were so intoxicating. It would explain why her head swam, and she had to resist the urge to pull him into the elevator with her. Fuck the date. She wanted to skip right to dessert.

Breathless, she stepped back and let her hands drop from his chest to her side. As they started toward the door, she tried to jump start her brain again. "So you gave up parking in the driveway, huh?"

"The security guard threatened to call the cops again. I keep telling him I am a cop, but he doesn't believe me."

"You know. It's convention season. He hears all sorts of weird stories."

He hummed. He kept glancing over at her. Not at her eyes, but at her body. "You're staring," she said, teasing him.

"I was trying to decide what was more adorable. The dress or the R2-D2 shoes."

"That's easy. The shoes win hands down."

"If you do say so yourself."

"And I do." She grinned at him. "But this is the second time you've called me adorable. Isn't that like calling a guy cute? Like you'd rather be handsome or hot."

Edward opened the passenger door of his car for her and leaned on it as she got in. "You don't think I'm cute?" he asked, batting his lashes prettily.

Despite the fact her heart skipped a beat, Bella reached out and pinched his cheek. "You're adorable."

He laughed and shut the car door. "So if not adorable, then what would you prefer?"

She crossed her legs and bounced the one on top, gratified when he looked and licked his lips. "I could go for sexy."

"Couldn't we all," he mumbled. Then, much clearer, he said, "I mean, you have to admit dressing up like the Winter Soldier is adorable. Ditto a dress with an AT-AT pet."

"That's true. But what would you rather? You want me to wander around in that ineffective bullshit that passes for female armor?"

"Hey, I didn't say it. I think Captain Phasma was just as bad ass in her full stormtrooper get up." His lip twitched. "You know, until she was taken down without a bad ass fight scene."

"She was robbed," Bella said, nodding gravely.

Edward cocked his head. "Do you like Mexican food by the way?"

"Of course."

"Good. I'm taking you to Olvera Street."

Olvera Street turned out to be an old time Mexican marketplace lined with restaurants, shops, and small stands. The birthplace of Los Angeles, a plaque proclaimed, outlining the avenue's history. Bella craned her head, trying to take in everything the vendors had to offer as Edward led her to a restaurant in the middle—La Golondrina Cafe.

"Ah, welcome back, officer," a man who could only be the manager said, emerging as Edward and Bella were lead to their table. "Here with family again?"

"Uh." It was gratifying to see Edward blush. His eyes darted to her and back to the manager. "No, not family."

The man's eyes went comically wide. "A date?"

Bella covered her mouth to hide her laughter. Though it was interesting to know that while it was clear Edward knew this man, the fact he'd brought a date here was new.

The manager recovered. "Of course. Such a beautiful señorita." He pulled Bella's seat out for her. "May I offer you a glass of sangria?"

"That sounds great," Bella said, charmed.

After they ordered, Edward told Bella a story about his older brother whom he claimed could have been a stunt double for the Hulk—"Not Ruffalo. The Hulk."—had popped the decorative pepper this place put on the rice into his mouth and eaten it whole.

"Problem is, that decorative pepper is a habanero pepper," Edward said.

Bella gasped. "Oh no, and he ate it whole?"

Laughing, Edward nodded. "Oh, man. I've never seen him run for the bathroom that fast. It was a world of hurt."

Bella nodded. "Hey, so, was this the place you were going to take me last night?"

"No, actually. I just like eating here."

"I can tell," Bella said, nodding in the direction of the manager.

Edward flushed and rubbed the back of his neck. "I guess I'm a regular. When I was a beat cop, I was down here a lot."

 _But never with a date, apparently_ , Bella thought but didn't say. She sipped her sangria.

It seemed like he was watching her lips as he drank. "Yeah, you answered a question I had." He gestured to her sangria. "Whether or not you drink."

"Everyone drinks," Bella said, putting on her most innocent expression. "We need liquid to survive."

"Hah. Smart ass. I meant alcohol."

"Oh, yes. I do drink that." She quirked an eyebrow at him. "You want to get me drunk? Is that what you're saying?"

He sat back, shaking his head at her. "Putting words in my mouth, are you?" He tisked. "No, I want to go to a bar not for the alcohol, though there's plenty of alcohol there."

"A bar with alcohol? Shocking? What do _you_ go to bars for if not alcohol?"

His eyes sparked. "You'll see. I told you, Bella, you're not taking over this date. This one is mine."

 _ **~0~**_

Bella couldn't hold back her delight when they walked into the bar about an hour later. "It's an arcade!"

The bar—for there was a bar stretched along one wall—hosted a wide range of classic arcade games instead of booths and a dance floor. Bella looked around, spotting some of her favorites. She let Edward take her by the hand as she was too busy ogling to watch where she was going.

"Do you want a drink?" Edward asked.

Bella's head snapped forward. Her brain hadn't quite moved on from the lure of video games yet. "Uh, sure."

He put a menu in her hand. It took Bella second, but then she realized what she was looking at. She laughed.

All the drinks had clever, nerdy names—things like pwn3d, Gallagher, Princess Peach, Kill Screen, n00b, and Wizard Mode.

"I mean, I feel like I have to order a drink called pwn3d just to prove it wrong, but how do you not order a Wizard Mode?" Bella said.

Edward wrinkled his nose. "You realize that a Wizard Mode is rye whiskey, cold brew coffee, and vanilla black tea and think about how disgusting that would taste."

"Ew. That does sound gross." She looked to the bartender. "I'll take a pwn3d."

"And I'll do a Wizard Mode," Edward said.

"Hey, I thought you said that sounded disgusting."

"Yeah, but how do you not order a Wizard Mode?" He winked at her.

She tilted her head up so she could whisper low in his ear. "You expect me to kiss you when you taste like that?"

Edward looked back to the bartender. "Scratch that. I'll take a Princess Peach."

When he heard she'd never played it, Edward showed her how to play Burger Time. They went from there to Street Fighter where Bella put in an admirable effort but lost. They ended the night at Iron Man pinball where Edward lost six balls before Bella took over and got the third highest score.

"And that is how you make Team Iron Man your bitch," Bella announced.

Chuckling, Edward slung his arm around her waist and pulled her in. He cupped her face. "Okay, Buck. I'm with you to the end of the line."

Bella shivered. She did love it when he talked nerdy to her. She pushed up onto her toes to kiss him. He'd stopped drinking a while back, but she could still taste the remnants of peach on his tongue. Delicious.

Again, he walked her to her elevator. She regretted drinking as much as she had. She thought she would have invited him up if her head was clear. Although, when was it ever clear when she was around him.

"Bella?" Edward said, his hand at her waist as she turned to face him.

"Hmm?"

He ducked his head and pressed a kiss to the shell of her ear. "Your dress is adorable." He kissed just below her ear. "Your shoes are adorable." He kissed her cheek. "That thing in your hair is adorable."

He pulled back so their noses brushed. His eyes—dark and dangerous with lust—made her suck in a breath. "You?" He said. He leaned in, his lips brushing hers. "You're sexy as hell."

He kissed her. A deep kiss, way too thorough for where they were standing, but Bella didn't care.

When the kiss broke, they were both breathless. "Goodnight," he said, his palm still pressed to her cheek.

"Goodnight," she echoed, head spinning and heart racing.

She stumbled backward into the elevator, unable to breathe until the doors closed, and she couldn't see him anymore.

Oh, god, she was so drunk. Not on booze. Oh, no. The booze could never have gotten to her like this. She was drunk on him. Totally inebriated. Her body didn't work right. She was definitely not in her right mind.

She floated back to her room in a happy daze.

* * *

 **A/N: There was much flailing in my doc this time around hahaha.**

 **I'll post some visuals from this chapter in my group on Facebook a little later in case you're curious. Shout out to the gals in my group who gave me ideas for Bella doodles. I'm sure I'll be using more soon!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Nerd Dictionary**

 **Marauder's Map - Magical map from Harry Potter opened by the words "I solemnly swear I am up to no good."**

 **US Dictionary**

 **Uber is like a taxi service. You click a button and a driver appears. It's rad.**

* * *

Bella put her hair up in a ponytail, checked that her glasses were on straight, and pulled the laptop into her lap.

"Hey, cats and kittens. So, we've come to the end of another glorious convention. So much has happened. I've met Daisy Ridley. I've met Mark Hamill, who, oh my god, how did we not know before now how much of a treasure he is? I've talked to awesome people who did amazing things, but do you guys want to hear about that? Noooo.

"Yes, I have received your bajillion forms of communication. Your tweets. Your Facebook posts. Your incessant questions on my Instagram photo with Misha Collins. Come on, man. You don't ignore Misha Collins-my sweet cinnamon bun, too pure for this world. Not even to ask me increasingly more personal questions about my date."

She tilted her head, giving them a mock-stern look. Then, she let her shoulders lump. "Okay, fine. Yes, we have another date tonight, and I have no idea what's going to happen."

This wasn't true. She was pretty damn sure of at least one thing that was going to happen tonight. It was why her legs were freshly shaved and she was wearing her prettiest Harry Potter lingerie. There was, however, a limit to what she would share with her followers.

"A lot of you are asking if I'm going to see him again. You know, after the con. Can the magic last?" She threw her head back with dramatic flair. Straightening, she shrugged. "I don't know. He lives in L.A.; I live in the OC. Taylor Swift could write a song about it."

She laughed at her own drama. "No, it's doable. Ya know, if I were counting my chickens. And that's about all I'm going to say about that. With my luck, this will be the day my social media-impaired date figures out what a vlog is and finds me. I'm not up on the rules of the dating scene, but I'm pretty sure that's some kind of a faux pas."

Bella clapped her hands together. "That's all you're going to get before I figure this guy out. Let's chat nerd-stuff."

 _ **~0~**_

The Sunday of most cons was low-key. Most convention-goers were heading home. There were few panels. A good many of the booths had been packed up and put away.

Bella had taken the train to L.A., not wanting to pay for hotel parking. Edward had volunteered to pick her up when she checked out of her hotel at noon. It seemed a little presumptuous not to have an official ride home, but there was always Uber.

Of course, Uber was, optimistically, plan B.

At noon on the dot, she was waiting in front of the hotel, luggage at her side. She smoothed down her dress—the furry Chewbacca dress—and tried not to pretend she was scanning the road for a now-familiar silver Volvo.

He was there only a minute later. As he pulled up, Bella could see his lips turn up when he saw what she was wearing. He put the car in park and made a show of banging his head on the steering wheel. He got out of the car and and stepped to her side. He drew one finger along her side, sending shivers down her spine. Finally, he looked up into her eyes. "Are you trying to kill me?"

Bella's throat had gone tight, so she had to swallow before she could speak. "I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about."

"Uh huh." He ran his hand around to the small of her back and pulled her in close. Bella held her breath.

His kiss was chaste, the tease. When she opened her eyes, his wicked grin told her he knew exactly what he was doing. He bent at the knees, his body close enough that she felt his warmth, and picked up her bag.

The effect was ruined when he grunted. "Christ, what's in this?"

Bella bit her lip to hide a grin. She reached out for it. "I can get it. I'm used to it."

He stepped back, keeping the pack out of her reach. "I didn't say I couldn't handle it." He pulled the handle out of her suitcase, and went around to the trunk. "Did you carry this around all weekend? You're going to be crippled by the time you're thirty."

"Well, I have a few good years left in me."

Bella couldn't quite read the expression on his face, and he waited until they were in the car before he asked, "So, exactly how many good years do you have left before thirty?"

"Oooh, now you're worried about my age?"

He shot a smirk at her as they pulled into traffic. "See, this is the reason I wanted to take you to a bar on the first night. You had me sweating for a minute there until your ID passed muster at the door."

"How old are you?"

"I'm about to be twenty-seven, and you haven't answered the question."

There was an interesting conundrum if ever Bella had heard one. Talk about her age or continue to press him about his birthday? She had the urge to make a crack about what kind of gift she wanted to give him, but that was presumptuous as hell. Christ, this guy had her all discombobulated.

"I'm twenty-two. In three more months," she said, pretending that didn't make her self-conscious. It wasn't as though it was a huge age gap. "So you thought I might be younger than twenty-one and yet you still asked me out?"

He scoffed and flashed her a smile. "You were worth the risk."

Christ, if he kept talking like that, she was just going to hand over her panties right then. Except, he was a cop, and he probably wouldn't be impressed with her wanting to break the law. Was there a law about distracted driving, cell phones aside? She made a mental note to ask him when it wasn't so incriminating.

She cleared her throat. "Okay, smooth criminal, where are we going?"

"I didn't bother planning anything since I figured you'd just hijack my plans anyway."

"Ugh, are you still holding that against me?"

"I'm just playing the odds. You've hijacked half the dates we've been on."

"I change my mind. I don't like you. I don't care how many Star Wars tattoos you have."

Edward pressed his lips together, looking amused. "They're not all Star Wars, you know. My tattoos."

Bella folded her arms across her chest, determined to give him a hard time. But curiosity got the better of her after only around ten seconds. "Damn. You tease. You win. I— Oh!" Bella twisted in her seat. "Oh, that was Whimsic Alley, wasn't it?" She looked back at him. "Edward, I know I—"

He burst out laughing. "Way ahead of you." He was already turning on a side street toward a parking lot. "This place is on the way to my place, so I figured you would see it."

Something deep inside her coiled tight with his words. "You planning on taking me to your place, officer?"

His cheeks flamed red. "Shit," he said under his breath. "That was...I mean, there was a possibility… I mean—"

She reached out and put a hand on his knee, giving it a squeeze. "Tattoos in third date kind of places, right? Trust your instincts, young padawan."

Shaking his head, he put the car in park and turned toward her. "Come here," he said, curling a finger beneath her chin and tilting her face up to his. "You are a very wicked woman, Bella Swan," he said before he leaned in and kissed her.

It was a heated kiss. Too hot. It was the kind of kiss where, if they were in a fanfiction, she would have magically crossed the console in between them to straddle his lap; where they could have had sex right there in the car despite the fact there was limited space between the steering wheel and his body. His hand cupped her cheek, the other pressed against her side, stroking his fingers through the Wookie-fur dress. She whimpered into his mouth, her hand drifting further up his leg.

He made a strangled noise as he pulled back. "We, uh…" He laughed, the sound a little disconcerted. "We should stop."

She blinked, trying to gather her wits again. "It would be awkward if you had to arrest yourself for public indecency."

His hand was still warm on her side, and he stroked his fingers through the fur of her dress again. "Believe me, if I was going to arrest one of us for public indecency, it would be you. Furry dress," he muttered, shaking his head.

"You like stroking my Wookie," she said, noting that his fingers hadn't stopped petting her.

His hand froze, and she realized belatedly how utterly filthy that sounded. Now it was her turn to giggle nervously, stumbling over, "I mean, uh...um."

He laughed, facing forward and banging his head back against the headrest. He rolled his head to look at her, mischief, danger, and something that looked like adoration in his eyes. "Same page, right?" He reached out, climbing his fingers up her side. "Do you want me to stroke your Wookie?" he asked, his voice low and sexy.

She shivered. "Ahhh, hell yes." She started to lean in to attack his mouth, but just as quickly, she drew back. "Gah!"

"What?"

"I'm conflicted. Most of me wants to tell you to forget about all this and let's go to your place."

His lips twitched. "And the rest of you is very aware you're around the corner from Whimsic Alley?"

"Yeah," she said sheepishly. "But it's a really close call."

He chuckled and got out of the car. He offered his hand. "Come along, you nerd."

Whimsic Alley was a shop modeled after Diagon Alley, a fictional area from Harry Potter full of shops that catered to witches and wizards. Whimsic Alley catered to nerds. They had miscellaneous nerd culture paraphernalia and collectibles. Bella gave an excited hop as they came around to the front of the shop.

"This is so cool. Wrong, but cool," she said, pointing to a standee of Dean Winchester from Supernatural.

"Why wrong?"

"He's wearing a Hufflepuff scarf."

"Surely not Hufflepuff."

"Dean Winchester is Gryffindor material. The Sorting Hat would be a foot from his head and still sort him into Gryffindor."

"I'll take your word for it." Edward opened the door for her, his hand on the small of her back as he guided her inside.

Bella was in her element. She took it all in first, wandering from room to room to see what fandoms were represented. Edward wasn't unaffected. He was a little wide-eyed with excitement as he found detritus from his favorite fandoms. She caught him chuckling at a few of the clever Marvel t-shirts.

They came away from the front room chattering about Game of Thrones family crests and mottos.

"I mean, you have to want to be in house Stark, right?" Edward said. "But what the hell kind of a family motto is, 'Winter is coming?' It sounds like an old, grumpy man muttering at the sky."

"It's better than house Lannister. 'A Lannister always pays his debts?'"

"Ah, but that's not actually the motto of house Lannister. That's just the tagline everyone says so we can never forget how much money they have. Their actual motto is 'Hear Me Roar!' which is a great deal more impressive."

"I always liked house Baratheon." Bella raised her fist in the air. "'Ours is the fury!' But who wants to be a Baratheon?"

"They're pretty big dicks."

Bella got distracted then, pulled away by a handsome standee. "Oh, yes. This is what I'm talking about."

Edward arched an eyebrow, looking unimpressed as he looked the cardboard cutout up and down. "Who the hell is this guy?"

"James Alexander Malcolm Mackenzie Fraser. He's from _Outlander_."

"Christ, does he have enough names?"

"He's Scottish."

"That would explain the skirt."

"It's a _kilt._ " Bella shook her head. "Here, will you take a picture of us?" Bella thrust her phone at him.

"You're lucky I'm not a jealous man," Edward said, giving her a bemused look as she wrapped her arm around the standee's waist.

Bella rolled her eyes. "Oh, yeah. I'm lucky you're not jealous of cardboard." She laid her head on Jamie's shoulder, giving him and the camera an innocent, dreamy look.

"So what's so great about James Bladeblah McBlahersons?" Edward asked as he snapped the picture.

"Are you not looking at him?" Bella asked, teasing as she walked back to his side.

Edward grunted. "Objectively, he's all right."

"You know, traditionally, they don't wear underwear under those kilts." Bella waggled her eyebrows and kissed him on the cheek.

"Uh huh. So, this fictional character is awesome because he fictionally doesn't wear underwear? You know, I'm not so sure about your standards."

"Ah, see, that should have been a foregone conclusion when I agreed to date you."

He screwed up his face. "Damn. I asked for that one."

"You really did." Bella took his hand and led him into another room. She gasped, delighted when she found this one had several racks filled with various costumes, props, and cosplay items. "This is great. Look at this." She took a fancy looking jacket that proclaimed itself to be from Downton Abbey and held it out to him. "Here, put this on."

He took a step back. "I'm not the dress-up kind of guy."

"Oh, come on. You have to try something on." Bella rifled through the rack, trying to keep hold of her utter delight at some of the things they had. "Oh, I know. I see a Hogwarts' robe, and they have a wand shop—"

"Ah, no. No. Definitely not Harry Potter," Edward said.

Bella quirked an eyebrow. "Why not?"

He shrugged. "Just not my thing."

"And yet, you took me to Whimsic Alley."

"Yes, well, somehow, I figured it was _your_ thing."

"I see." Somehow, Bella managed to keep a straight face even as she let her voice dip into sultry tones. "You don't like playing with wands, hmm?"

He stepped closer, and ducked down to murmur in her ear. "Don't you know, little girl? Playing with wands just gets you into trouble."

Though her heart had begun to pound, Bella still snickered. She rested her hand at his waist, meeting his gaze. "I know all about wands and trouble." She waved her hand in the air as though she were casting. "'I solemnly swear I'm up to no good.'" She tapped her finger on his lips.

Just like the Marauder's map, he opened to her, taking the tip of her finger into his mouth, the look in his eyes wicked. Bella's breath caught, and she pushed up onto the balls of her feet to kiss him.

Quickly, the kiss became too heated for the public place they were in, and Bella stepped back with a gasp. She licked her lips and shook her head, trying to shake the daze off.

Luckily, her nerdiness was an excellent distractor. "Ooh." She brushed past Edward and started moving clothes on a rack behind the one she'd been looking at. "Is that… It is!" She held up a replica of the Tenth doctor's coat. "How about this?"

Edward's smile was indulgent. "Allons-y," he said, taking the coat from her hands and shrugging it on.

Bella clapped, grinning. "That looks awesome on you. Please let me take your picture."

"Bella," he said warningly, eyeing her.

"I know you have a phobia of social media. I'm not going to pretend I understand why."

"Because I'm sharing this moment with _you_. I don't want to invite anyone else," Edward said, the slightest edge of annoyance in his tone.

Bella bit the inside of her lip, chastened. "I get that, but…" She shook her head. His sentiment was sincere and sweet. "Just for me, then? Something to remember this moment, and I promise I won't share it on the Internet."

He eyed her warily, his expression conflicted.

"Are you a vampire?" she asked, trying to tease him. She understood, in theory, that he didn't like social media, but this reaction was so strange. "If I take a photo of you, will you not show up?"

His smile was small but genuine. It fell away almost as soon as it appeared, though. "It's not that I don't want you to have a picture of me. I wouldn't mind that. It's just…"

He seemed flustered, and Bella stepped to his side. "This shouldn't be that big of a deal," she said quietly, slightly mistified.

"But it is, for me. Look, I'm not trying to be a pain in the ass. I know a lot of people are connected to social media all the time, but I've never seen someone as constantly as you. And it's not a problem, Bella. It's really not, except that you can't make me a part of that. I'm a cop."

Bella furrowed her brow. "I...don't understand."

"I _can't_ be seen on social media. At all. The LAPD has a whole task force dedicated to enforcing that rule."

The silence at his proclamation was deafening. But after a few tense seconds, Bella giggled. "I'm sorry," she said, clapping a hand over her mouth. "I mean, that's fine. It feels so dramatic." She tittered again. "Look, the whole social media thing...it's important to me." She waved a hand, dismissing that. She didn't want to talk about it yet. It wasn't that she was ashamed of what she did. She just felt like he might not understand it, or worse, would think less of her for it, and she didn't want to burst the happy bubble they were in just yet. "But it's not a big deal to tone it down. If you're not comfortable with me taking a personal picture, I totally get it, but I'd never endanger your job."

HIs expression gentled, and he held out his hand for her. "Come here."

She took it, letting him tuck her to his side. "Sorry," he said, hugging her to him. "I don't mean to get worked up about it. It's just hard to explain sometimes. Social media is so prevalent now, and a lot of people don't understand." He turned her in his arms so they were face to face, and he kissed the tip of her nose. "I like you, Bella Swan. Maybe this sounds juvenile, but I want you to like me, too."

The nervousness that had crept into Bella's belly eased. He was a conundrum, this man. One minute, he was all cocky swagger. The next, he was jittery and vulnerable—just a boy, standing in front of a girl, asking her to like him. "I do like you," she said. She more-than-liked him, but it was way too early to admit to something like that. "I mean, it is totally incomprehensible to think about being so detached from social media. Like, after finding that out, I'm crossing any profession involving the LAPD off my list forever, not going to lie."

He chuckled and kissed her forehead. "Here," he said, reaching past her to pull out a jean jacket.

She grinned, realizing it was Rose's jacket—the tenth doctor's love interest and companion. Edward took her phone from her hand as she shrugged into it. Then he pulled her against him again, holding the phone. He poked at it, looking perplexed. "How the hell do you do this?"

Bella laughed. "Oh, my sweet, summer child. You don't even know how to selfie?" She tisked and pushed a few buttons, hitting the front-facing cam. "Same as any picture. Hit the camera button."

And that was how she got her first photo with Edward Cullen—him dressed as the tenth doctor from Doctor Who, and she dressed as Rose Tyler, tucked against his side.

After they made their purchases—Bertie's Every Flavor Bean, a Supernatural necklace, and a badass cloak Bella had found on sale for thirty dollars—Edward took her next door for milk and cookies.

"I thought you were kidding," Bella said as they entered Milk Jar Cookies where, sure enough, one could purchase milk and cookies.

"You know those donut shops you hear about with the crazy ass donuts? This is that except for cookies, which are a thousand times better than donuts in my opinion." He pointed to the case where, as promised, there were crazy ass cookies, one of them covered in various kinds of cereal.

Bella opted for a banana split cookie. Edward got rocky road, and they decided they had to have the milk and cereal cookie to split.

"We'll just call it lunch," Bella said.

The cookies were delicious. They chatted a bit about Edward's job. He shared stories of people who had gotten in trouble with their task force. Mostly funny stories of ill-advised adventures splayed all across Facebook or Snapchat or Instagram.

As they left the shop, Bella pulled him out of the main traffic, under the awning. She splayed her hands on his chest and kissed him—a languid kiss, licking the taste of chocolate and marshmallow from his tongue.

When they were both breathless, she pulled back only enough so that she could look in his eyes. "You want to pet my Wookie?" she asked, voice gone scratchy and breathless.

He groaned, his hand pressing against her back, stroking down to brush her ass. He licked the taste of her from his lips, a slow smile spreading up his cheeks. "Let's go." He took her hand, and they all but ran in the direction of the car.

* * *

 **A/N: My docs were hilarious. Many thanks to Packy 2.0, Songster, jessypt, Moh, Mina, and barburella for making me laugh my ass off in my sociology class.**

 **Yes, I know I'm cruel for ending it there...but you'll like next chapter. Promise.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Nerd Dictionary**

 **The Horde: The "bad guys" in the online role-playing game, World of Warcraft.**

 **Firefly: A show that lasted fourteen episodes and a movie and has a ginormous cult following for good reason.**

 **A/N: Back in the US! Yargh. You know what's in the US? Work and school. *head desk***

* * *

"Los Angeles traffic isn't conducive to the heat of the moment," Bella said, laughing at herself. She'd never been so eager, felt so hot, bothered, and wanton. She might have tried her hand at road head if she wasn't sure he'd threaten to arrest her. As it was, she had her hand on his knee, stroking his inner thigh.

He groaned. "Christ, if you don't stop doing that, I'm going to pull over."

"Uh huh, and what happens then?" she asked, her voice pitched low and husky.

He chanced a glance over at her, and a chill went down Bella's spine. His eyes glinted dark green and dangerous—a promise of wickedness soon to come. "Have you ever been frisked, Isabella?"

She had to bite her lip to keep from whimpering. "That has never sounded kinky before."

"Don't tempt me. I know all the speed traps. They're private enough."

"Are we almost there?"

Edward's grin widened, and he turned off the main road into a neighborhood. "Something got you antsy over there?"

"Me? No." She drew back, removing her hand from his knee to her lap. "I could happily cruise LA right now. Take in the sights. I haven't been to the observatory in forever."

"You're asking for it. You know that, right?"

Bella sat back and crossed her legs, well aware of the way her dress crept up. "I'm banking on the fact you want to see what I have hidden beneath my Wookie fur."

He grunted. "Damn. I'm man enough to admit when you have me."

A warm feeling went through her that had nothing to do with the electric charge between them. She rested her hand over his on the shifter, wondering only briefly if this tenderness she felt made sense. She understood the thrill of attraction, and why she wanted him on top of her, his weight pressing down on her as they moved together. She wasn't quite sure she understood the depth of what she felt for this near perfect stranger.

Whatever it was, he glanced to the side, and his wicked smile gentled. He flipped his hand and twined their fingers together.

They pulled into the driveway of a small house. It was nice. Old, but nice. "Nothing fancy," he said, taking her hand.

"What? You mean they don't pay you cops the big bucks? I was expecting a mansion." Bella pushed up onto her tiptoes and kissed the underside of his chin. "I like it. Looks like a quiet neighborhood."

He tugged her to him, wrapping his arms around her waist. He cupped her ass, bringing her flush against him. He stepped her backward, pushing her up against the wall. Sighing, Bella opened her mouth to him, tangling her fingers in his hair. She ran one foot along the back of his calf.

Edward groaned into her mouth and pulled back. "So much for a nice neighborhood. You're wicked, Bella."

"Hey, grabby hands. You started it."

"Mmhm." He took her hand again and pulled her away from the wall.

They made their way inside, kissing every few steps. But when Edward opened the door, guiding her inside with his hand against the small of her back, Bella took her eyes off him to look around. "I...whoa."

The inside of Edward's house caught her off guard to say the least. She turned around in a circle, taking it all in.

"What is it?" Edward asked.

"I, uh...I was trying to remember the name of the color of these walls." She was struggling not to giggle. That would be terribly rude.

"It's just beige."

Bella bit the inside of her lip. "It's not beige. It's taupe. That's what it is. Did you choose these colors?"

"You're laughing at my house."

At that, Bella did let loose a little titter. "The person who lives here is an uptight ass." She turned to him, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Everything is white and taupe." She giggled again. "Even your furniture is white and taupe. Why would you do that?"

He rested his hands at her waist, tilting his head to give her a look. "You think I'm an uptight ass?"

"That's what's so funny. This place doesn't match you." She pressed a kiss to his chin. "You're colorful. Warm."

"Hmm." He caught her lips in a quick kiss. "I like cleanliness and order."

"This place is very clean." She tilted her head back, giving him a path for his questing mouth. As he kissed her throat, her voice began to tremble. "Spartan, too. My place...oh." She caught her breath as his hands rubbed up and down her sides, sending chills down her spine. "My place is wall-to-wall nerdy chaos."

He scoffed. The noise vibrated against her skin. "That doesn't surprise me."

She sighed, dancing her fingers down his back. "See, this is a sign. We should stop now. It'll all end in tears. We're too different."

"Okay, Juliet." He dropped kisses along her collarbone. His finger played at the zipper of her dress. "Tell me to stop, then."

Bella's heart had begun to hammer in her chest. She whimpered when she felt the drag of the zipper down her back. "I, um...I guess I'm just not that smart."

"It makes life interesting, anyway," he said.

With that, he swept her up into his arms. Bella wrapped her arms around his neck and tilted her head up to catch his kiss.

Right out of a movie. She'd been swept off her feet to have a ravishing love scene in…

Yep. A white and taupe colored room. She giggled as he laid her down on the bed. "Now what?" he asked, climbing over her. He held himself aloft on his hands and knees.

She ran a hand along the backs of his thighs. "Your bedspread is a color scale from white to taupe. Neat and orderly." She reached up and ran her hand along the collar of his shirt. "Yet you have these." She tapped where she knew his tattoos were and looked up at him. "So what else are you hiding?"

He leaned in, kissing her once before he straightened up. His eyes on her, he took his shirt off.

The personality that was lacking from his house was written over his body. Bella ran her fingers along his sides. Batman on one side—a hooded, stooped figure that seemed lonely somehow. Down his other side were the devilish eyes of the Joker and his fiendish smile. _Why so serious?_ was written in a wobbly font down his side.

Edward sucked in a breath when she got to the tattoo that rested low on his hips, the bottom of it obscured by his jeans. She unbuttoned him and pulled the zipper down to expose the rest of it.

Two guns crossed each other. She recognized them both. Han Solo's blaster and Malcolm Reynold's pistol from Firefly. Written underneath were the words, "I aim to misbehave."

She curled her fingers in the thick hair beneath the tattoo. "You know that's ironic, right? For a cop to have a thief's motto etched into his skin."

He huffed and then gasped as she slipped her hand in his pants. She grinned up at him, cupping his warmth. "I like that you have three big guns," she said.

He whined, the sound low at the back of his throat. "Four, technically. Counting my service weapon." He swallowed hard and splayed his hand over her belly. "I've shown you some of mine. Your turn."

Bella propped her hands behind her head, raising her knee to brush him where he was hot and hard. "Go fish."

His eyes darkened, and he pursed his lips. "Hmm." He backed up a bit, stilling her legs and undressing her with his eyes. "I've been dreaming about where your tats are." As he spoke, he began to stroke her inner thigh, climbing higher with each pass. "I have a few favorite guesses."

"I'd say you're getting warm."

"So are you." He hiked up the hem of her dress, peeking. His smile fell and he groaned. "Is that

...what does that say?"

Bella bit her lip when he spread her leg back to see the tattoo on her inner thigh. He groaned. He pushed her dress up higher, and groaned again. "Jesus Christ, what are you doing to me?"

"Whoa. Let's bring the ego down, buddy. I got this tattoo for myself. Years ago."

"Mischief managed," he read, skimming his fingers over the words.

"It's from Harry Potter."

"Yeah, the wand kind of gave that away." He stroked the wand, tickling her as he did. "It's, ah, interesting placement." The wand pointed at her pussy.

"I was drunk. It was Comic Con."

"Mmhmm. Well, now that we established this glorious tattoo wasn't made specifically to drive me crazy, what about these?" He ran his finger along the center of her panties. They were gray with a green, satin frill, and had the words, _Mind if I Slytherin?_ written in green over the crotch.

"Those I did wear for you."

He kissed the inside of her thigh and straightened up, bringing her with him. "Well, it's nice that they have the password written on it." He pulled her dress off and groaned. He trailed his fingers along the various tattoos that littered her body. He pushed her bra up and groaned again at the Horde symbol that hugged her breast. "Fuck me," he murmured.

"That's my line, not yours." Bella cupped the back of his neck and lay back, taking him with her. "I want you. I need you."

He bit his lip, a slow, sly grin turning up one corner of his mouth. He propped himself back up on his hands again. "What do you need?" He leaned down and kissed her lips—a teasing kiss. He kissed her chin. He dragged his teeth along her neck. "Is this what you need?"

"Ah." Bella ran her fingers along the hairs at the back of his neck. "Not yet. Not there."

"Hmmm." He pressed a trail of wet kisses along her shoulder, and nibbled at her collarbone, licking the long tattoo she had there. He moved lower and circled his tongue around her nipple. "Do you need me here?"

"Oh, oh!" she cried, startled when he bit down lightly. "I, uh...not quite there."

"No?" He continued to suck at her while he brushed his hand lower, over her stomach. "How about here?" His fingers tickled her over her panties.

Bella moaned, arching up to meet his hand. She was so worked up and oddly in tune with him, the sensitivity of her skin had her buzzing. "Edward please."

"Edward please what, hmm?" His fingers teased her clit through her panties. He dropped kisses between her breasts. "Please taste me? I bet you taste so sweet, baby."

He slid down off the bed onto his knees. He tugged and Bella lifted up off the bed, biting the inside of her cheek as he pulled her panties down and off.

"Slytherin," he mused. "Sounds snakelike."

It was hard to concentrate, to not wiggle when he put first one then the other of her legs over his shoulders. "Their, um...their mascot is a snake."

"I see." Edward lowered his head and flicked his tongue, snakelike, against her clit. "Like this?" He moved lower, entering her with the same quick movement. "Or this?"

It was a good thing he didn't expect an answer, because as he began to attack her with his tongue, she lost the ability to form coherent thought. He hummed as he feasted on her, sending vibrations straight through her. She writhed and gripped his hair, singing him a chorus of oh, ah, guttural moans, and, "Jesus Christ, more, more, baby, more."

When she reached behind her, grabbing randomly at the comforter as though trying to keep herself from the inevitable explosion, he raised his head. Bella whined, but he was over her in a second. His mouth caught and silenced her protest. He got his arms beneath her, scooting her backward on the bed as he shared her taste.

Bella skimmed her fingers down his chest and pulled his jeans down. He broke their kiss, staring down at her with lust-dark eyes and wetted lips. The fervor in their every move calmed.

He leaned down, kissing her sweetly then—a short, tender peck as he fumbled in the nightstand drawer. She plucked the condom from his hand, ripping it between her teeth before reaching between them. She loved the way his breath caught when she took him in hand. He was already hard—ready—and she rolled the condom down his shaft.

He ran the back of his knuckles down her cheek, his eyes on her. The gentleness of the gesture drove the breath from her body. She hadn't really let herself think about what she was doing with him. It was all a whirlwind with Edward. It felt right, but that didn't mean she wasn't scared.

The way he looked at her then was something she had no context for. He kissed her once more as he pushed her legs wide and entered her. It was powerful—the stretch to accommodate him mingled with a queer, wonderful stretch of her heart in her chest.

It was easy to move with him. She wrapped her legs around him, her heels pressing into his back, pushing him closer, taking him deeper. She felt as though she couldn't breathe, but not in a suffocating way. It was more like whatever this emotion was, it replaced the need for air.

The slow, easy pace Edward set only lasted long enough for them both to get used to each other. But the feeling of him moving in her, his perfect thickness and the heat of his breath as they exchanged open-mouthed kisses, was too much. Bella found herself thrusting up at him, urging him faster.

"Oh, god, Bella."

The sound of his voice, so wrecked and enraptured, made her desperate to be closer to him—impossibly closer. She ran her hands over his back, feeling the flex of his muscles as he moved over her. "Ah!" She threw her head back, her fingernails scraping along his skin, eliciting an answering cry from him.

Edward reached above them, clasping his headboard, thrusting harder. The new angle set of every nerve ending Bella had, and she moaned, high and long, her legs wrapping tighter around him.

"You like that, sweet girl?" He panted breathlessly. His hips meet hers, slamming her into the bed with each thrust.

"Oh, yeah. That's so good. Oh!"

The orgasm that rocked her then was the sort that left her boneless and stoned. It was minutes before she recognized that his hot weight was off her and longer still to figure out she couldn't move her hand because he was holding it. It was an unbearably sweet thing, and she smiled to herself as she twined her fingers more tightly with his.

After a moment longer, Edward rolled over, propping himself on his arm and staring down at her. He traced the shape of her lips, and she kissed his fingertip. She was already in love with the sight of that adoring, sated smile.

His eyes drifted lower and he cocked his head, and odd expression on his face as he began to explore the tattoos he hadn't gotten to previously.

"What are you thinking?" she asked, her voice scratchy.

His eyes found hers again. "I was thinking I was jealous of the man who got to put these on you."

Bella snorted and raised her hand to stroke her thumb along his jaw. "Edward, believe me, you just saw more of me than she ever has."

His lips quirked up. "I didn't mean it in the possessive asshole kind of way. I just think it would have been great to be there when you got this done."

She flushed, finding herself thinking it would be nice if he was there for the next one.

As if he read her mind, Edward's expression became more serious. He cupped her cheek. "Do you have work tomorrow?"

"I don't have an eight-to-five job. Why?"

He rolled over on top of her again, grinning when she huffed out a breath at his smothering weight. "I was just thinking I didn't want to take you home until later. Much, much later." He kissed her, a slow, smoldering kind of kiss. "If that's okay with you."

"It's mid-afternoon," she said with a grin, wrapping her arms around him. "You have plans for me that will make me get home late?"

"I can think of a few things." He kissed her again, rocking his hips against hers. "Not the least of which is figuring out why I don't know what you do yet. We've been dancing around the issue." He pulled back a bit, brushing his nose against hers. "Why is that? Should I be afraid to ask?"

Bella grimaced. "No. I just—"

She cut off as she caught a movement out of the corner of her eyes. She sat up, pushing him slightly to the side in her surprise. "What was that?"

"What? Oh." He laughed, rolling onto his side. "I have a cat."

"You're a cat person?" Bella wiggled out from under him, sitting up with her feet on the floor. She burst out laughing when she saw the moody-looking feline flicking her tail and glaring at Bella from the dresser. A Persian cat. Of course he would have a persian cat. "Oh, my god. Your cat is color-coded to match the walls. Did you do that on purpose?"

"She's not color-coded. She jumped in my car one day when I was at a crime scene. My partner told me that she chose me, so I had to keep her."

"Sure. Of course she jumped in your car. A likely story." Bella got out of bed and approached the cat, stopping when she flattened her ears back and gave a warning meow. "Tell me her name is Taupe."

"Her name is Leah. And be careful. She hates everyone who isn't me."

"Girl cats are jealous and territorial little wenches. I've heard that." Bella put one finger out, approaching the cat slowly. "It's okay, Taupe. I know cats are bastards. I won't hold it against you."

Taupe bared her teeth.

Bella heard the creak of the bedsprings, and then Edward's arms were around her waist pulling her back against him. His lips were at her neck, nipping and sucking. "Stop harassing my cat," he said.

She gasped when his hands came around to cup her breasts and he began to suck on a spot on her neck. "Is this the part where you tell me you're a vampire? Oh.." She moaned as he rolled her nipples between his fingers.

"Bella. You're parading around my room naked, showing off your tattoos." He pressed a gentler kiss against the spot he'd been biting. "I can't be held responsible for my actions." His hands dropped back to her waist and he pulled her backward. "Now come to bed."

Gladly, Bella obliged, and let Edward drag her back into his bed.

* * *

 **A/N: Yes, for those who recognized it, that was a nod to Supernatural. I would have acknowledged it in the story, but non-fans would be confused if E/B started talking about Charlie. LOL.**

 **Thank you to my lovely team, Songster, Packy, barburella, MoH, and Mina.**

 **How we doing out there in TV land, hmm?**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Happy Monday. Wish me luck, duckies. I've procrastinated a presentation I have to give and I have to fit work in there somewhere. LOL.**

* * *

It was late. Edward knew he should get out of bed, but he'd reached a level of contentment he hadn't known existed before. Sated seemed like an understatement.

He glanced down and smiled when he was met with the sight of chestnut hair. Strange, he thought. He liked cuddling, but not usually when he was so...dirty. Sticky. It was a hot evening too, so he was only getting stickier. That clammy feeling on his skin usually drove him insane. He chuckled.

"What's so funny?" Bella asked, lifting her head.

He smoothed her hair back from her face, marveling at the remarkable tenderness he felt. "I was thinking, maybe I am a bit of an uptight ass. A little persnickety."

Her whole face lit up when she laughed then. "Did you just use the word 'persnickety?'"

"Emphasis on trivial details. What? It fits."

"No one uses words like that in real life."

He offered her his hand. "Hi. I'm no one. Nice to meet you."

"Oh, and then he goes for the dad jokes." She groaned and shook her head. "Such a waste of potential. I thought you were hot, Cullen."

"Well, it was nice while it lasted. Your clothes are…" Edward made a vague motion around the room. "Somewhere. I'll call you an Uber."

"Ever the gentleman." Bella pushed upright and moved to straddle him.

Edward groaned. "Woman. I don't know what kind of magical, refilling stamina you have, but I'm a man. A real one, not one of those myths perpetuated by fanfics. Personally, I feel like three orgasms apiece is an impressive performance, but regardless; there's a recovery period."

"You with the ego again." She splayed her hand wide on his chest to steady herself. "I don't want your cock, genius. I just want to look at you." Her grin turned wicked. "Although…" She slid backward, her hot pussy brushing up against his sensitive dick.

Edward groaned and gripped his hand at her waist. "Bella…"

She laughed. "I'm kidding. I'll be good."

He stroked his fingers along her side, not in a titillating way. Just because it felt good to touch her. He watched as her eyes traveled his body and her fingers traced his tattoos.

After a few minutes, her easy, happy expression fell to a more perplexed, concerned one. "What is it?" he asked, reaching up and brushing a thumb over her mouth as though he could wipe the frown away.

She kissed the pad of his thumb before she looked back down at his body. "Empire, Rebellion," she said, touching each of the tattoos. "Joker and Batman." She rested her hand over the tattoo low down, above his hips. "Then, Han Solo and Malcolm Reynolds are the epitome of the good bad guys. They're thieves who don't always do the right thing. They're good guys who've done some bad things."

Edward swallowed hard past the lump in his throat. No one who had seen all his tattoos had ever noticed that before. To most, his tattoos seemed frivolous. The guys at the station ribbed him all the time for being such a total nerd. Yet they were meaningful to him. No one had ever gotten so close to discerning that meaning.

Bella looked him in the eyes. "Did you do that on purpose?" she asked.

He nodded.

To her credit, she didn't pry, though he could see she wanted to. Instead, she looked back down at him. She leaned down and kissed his bad side—the Imperial crest, Joker's twisted mouth—before she laid her head on his chest, her ear to his pounding heart as though she were listening for his secrets.

For long moments, Edward didn't speak. He ran his fingers through her hair, gently smoothing tangles. He considered the fact he was in way over his head. People he knew didn't usually get this secret until he'd known them for years. He'd known this woman three _days._ They were strangers, for fuck's sake.

In his heart of hearts, Edward had always considered himself a romantic. But he was also a realist and, as already repeatedly discussed, he was a bit of an uptight ass. He had limited patience for most people. So why did he want to tell this strange and wonderful woman about his not-so-great history?

"I'm adopted," he said. "Really long story short? When I was nine, my biological father shot me, shot my mother, and shot himself."

Bella's whole body went rigid, and she raised her head. "He shot you?"

Wordless, he took her hand and guided it to a spot on his side. The scar was mostly hidden. The Batman tattoo was designed to blend in with the lines of the scar. But the jagged ridge of it could still be easily felt.

He watched sadness pinch Bella's expression and hated it. "Oh, Edward," she said with a breath. "I'm sorry."

"I guess you could say, the experience fucked me up a bit."

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, that would fuck anyone up."

"So, I was kind of a bad kid for a long time. Then, when I was fourteen, I beat up this other kid—Emmett Cullen." Despite himself, Edward's lips twitched. "Which, if you ever get a chance to meet him, you'll know why that's hilarious in and of itself. But what was really funny is, his parents, rather than thinking I was the scum of the earth like everyone else did, tried to help me. More than tried, obviously, seeing as they eventually ended up adopting me."

"And then, you became a cop." Despite the sadness in her eyes, she smiled at him and kissed him sweetly. "If you'd become a superhero, you could have your own comic book."

"I looked into it, but unfortunately, no super powers."

"Oh, I don't know." She kissed the underside of his chin. "I bet I could find a couple if I looked very carefully."

He chuckled. Some of the coldness that had come over him drained away, replaced by the warmth of her easy acceptance and soft kisses. He cupped her cheek, rolling them to the side so he could kiss her in earnest.

Maybe five minutes past, maybe it was an hour. Edward didn't know. Time didn't keep a steady pace when he was with Bella.

Eventually, though, their kiss did break, and Edward thought it was time to satisfy his own curiosity. "Can I ask you something?"

"Mmhmm." She sounded as sleepy and content as he felt.

"Will you tell me what you do for a living?"

Her hooded eyes came open; her expression cautious. A second later, she rolled away from him and sat up. "Yeah, I can tell you."

He was shocked by the change in the atmosphere and at her distance after these long hours of being practically sewn together. "It can't possibly be that bad."

"No. It's not bad at all."

"Whoa." Now he sat up. He put a hand to her bare back, ignoring, for once, the tattoos there he had yet to explore. "You're getting so defensive."

"I'm sorry." Her shoulders slumped the slightest bit. "I think you'll think less of me, and that makes me a little ragey."

"I'm not going to think less of you. I mean, you're not a drug dealer or involved in the slave trade, right?"

She smirked. "No, of course not."

"Then, I can promise you I'm not going to think less of you."

She turned her head to look at him. "Think so, huh?" she asked, her look and expression wry. "You've already made fun of me for it."

Edward furrowed his brows, a little stunned.

Rather than answer, she reached for her phone on the nightstand. She clicked a few things and handed it to Edward. "I told you already," she said. "I'm kind of a big deal on the Internet."

His first instinct was to think the video she played for him was cute as hell. It was her freaking out about their first date, soliciting outfit advice. He wanted to strut around like the cock of the walk, but at the same time, he was more than a little panicky.

"You told people on the Internet, on YouTube about me?" he asked, looking at her.

"YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr." She tilted her head. "I think I Snapchatted with Alice about it."

"Jesus." Edward put his feet on the floor on his side of the bed, facing away from her. He scrubbed his face. "Bella, I told you. I can't be on social media."

"You aren't, but I am."

"And you talked about me."

She narrowed her eyes. "I told my viewers that I met a guy. I didn't say your name or even identify you as a cop. Calm down."

When he looked up, she was standing in front of him—in one of his shirts, fuck, where had she gotten that—with her arms crossed and annoyed expression on her face. He breathed in through his nose and tried to think around the initial panic. "Okay. So you told your friends you met a guy. What does that have to do with how you make a living?"

"I let my _viewers_ help me pick out an outfit, not my friends." She nodded to her phone beside him. "That's what I do for a living. I vlog."

"You what?"

"Vlog. Video-blog. I vlog about my thoughts and my life as a nerd in general."

Edward blinked at her. "I...don't understand. People pay you to film yourself?"

He grimaced but Bella snickered, covering her mouth. It was enough to break the tension. "They don't pay me to film myself, you perv. Not really. It's kind of a luck thing, I guess. I started vlogging just for funsies. People started to follow me. When you get a huge following, you can start to make money off the advertising on your vlogs and other social media. Then, if you get really lucky and people, for whatever reason, like your words, you can get book deals out of it. Then it kind of goes from there—you get paid for radio interviews. Some of the bigger vloggers get on TV shows once in awhile."

Edward was blown away. "Really?"

She smacked his chest. "Don't sound so shocked." She shrugged and rolled her eyes. "Well, okay. Most days, I have no idea why anyone would pay anything to read my babbling. But if I can make a living off doing something I love, whatever."

"Agreed." Edward reached up and took her hand. He scooted back so she could straddle him again. He felt better with his arms around her. "So what you're saying is, you actually have to be on social media for your livelihood. And you don't go to conventions just as a fan, I'm guessing? Do they have panels for vlogger nerds?"

Her smile was tentative. "Yeah. That's what I meant by the fact I was working. I had several panels, actually, and a signing."

"Wow. You _are_ kind of a big deal on the Internet. Who knew I was dating such a celebrity?"

"That'll teach you to think I'm having delusions of grandeur."

"Settle down, Threepio." He kissed her, a soft peck. "So I guess I kind of stuck my foot in my mouth with all those things I said about people who are on their phones every second."

She bit her lip, grinning, her eyes dancing as they met his. "I wasn't going to say anything."

"Hmm." Taking her face in his hands, he kissed her—an apologetic kiss. "I'm sorry. I didn't know this kind of thing existed."

She sighed, giving in to his kiss and wrapping her arms about his neck. "But is it going to be a problem?"

Edward tilted his forehead against hers, considering. "I think it'll be a complication. Assuming you want to continue to see me."

"I'm not opposed to the idea," she said, teasing him. She ducked her head to whisper in his ear. "I haven't gotten to taste all your tattoos yet."

A shiver went down his spine, and he had to shake his head hard to remember they were discussing something serious. "Well, I think as long as you can keep me out of your vlogs—my name, my picture, my job—then we'd be okay. Is that a problem for you?"

"Hmmm," she said. He loved the way her fingers played at the nape of his neck when he held her like this. "I do vlog about my _life_ , all of my life, but I think I can get around that in a way that could work for both of us. I have ideas."

He quirked an eyebrow. "What kinds of ideas?"

"That's for me to know and you to find out," she said with a smug grin.

He fell back on the bed, with her in his arms. They got down to the serious business of their fourth time, but were interrupted not a minute in by a loud, long rumble from his stomach.

Bella rolled off him, shrieking with giggles. He laughed too, both at the timing of it and at her mirth. "Well, that answers that question," he muttered.

"What question is that?"

He rolled over, pinning her to the bed beneath him and smirking at the startled, lust-filled look on her face. "Whether or not I could replace food with sex." He leaned down and pressed an open mouth kiss to her neck, loving the way she writhed and squeaked beneath him when he dug his teeth in just a little. "You taste so goddamned good, I swear I could eat you for hours."

She whimpered, and he smothered the sound with his mouth, taking her lips in a ravishing kiss. Her leg hitched up around his waist.

And then, _her_ stomach growled.

They parted, breathless and tittering. "I think if we don't get out of this bed, there'll be a rebellion on our hands," Bella said, rubbing his back.

"Hmm, and not the kind involving lightsabers and X-Wings, huh?" He rolled off her, but offered his hand. "How about a shower first?"

They made their way to his shower, and he wasn't sure how clean they got. He was far too busy making out with her, feeling her slick, wet body beneath his hands and as the hot water flowed over them. But the important part was, when they got out of the shower, they weren't so sticky and overheated.

They parted reluctantly. Edward left her in the bathroom to sort through her suitcase for clothes. He slipped on a pair of jeans and went to see what his fridge and pantry could offer up. He'd fully intended to take her to dinner at some point, but it was late. Oh, sure, it wouldn't really be a problem to find a restaurant open in Los Angeles, but he wanted her all to himself for just a little bit longer.

He'd decided spaghetti was inelegant but simple enough. He'd just finished browning hamburger meat for meat sauce when Bella emerged. He had to swallow a groan. She was dressed in jeans and his shirt. She was also wearing a bratty smile and holding something behind her back.

"What do you have there?" he asked, shutting off the burner and moving the pan off the stove.

"First, I swear I wasn't snooping. Your closet door was just _slightly_ ajar, and I happened to see it when I bent over."

The way she said the words, he knew for a fact she was trying to put images in his head. What was more, it was working. "You bent over?" he said, hunger stirring in his gut again for more than just food.

"Yes. I bent over, and what should I spy with my little eye, but this?" She whipped out a lightsaber hilt, her eyes absolutely dancing with mirth.

Edward smirked. "Oh, that."

"Yes, this." With a flick of her wrist, she 'activated' it, sending the plastic lightsaber blade out. "It's Mace Windu's lightsaber."

Edward wasn't really paying attention to her words. He was finding it hard to concentrate when she'd begun to move her fist up and down the blade. Her voice was low and scratchy as she continued to speak.

"You know, Edward. Purple doesn't go at all with taupe. Not that color purple, anyway."

Edward stared at her; specifically, at the way her lips twisted up in a simper. She drove him out of his mind, and she damn well knew it. The flip side of that coin was that the feeling was mutual—something he was well aware of.

He bolted at her, his movement so quick, she gasped and stepped backward, that delicious little smirk falling along with the lightsaber to the floor. "Hands in the air," he barked. "Get your hands where I can see them, now."

It was hilarious how quickly she reacted, her hands going up and her eyes wide. He didn't stop to take in the moment, though. He took her by the arm and spun her around. "Hands on the table," he commanded, his hand on her upper back, pushing her down with the least amount of force he could. "Do it now."

She bent forward, her hands on the table, and when he pressed his foot to the inside of hers, she widened her stance.

There, Edward took a deep breath. He was in a unique headspace. On the job, this didn't turn him on—never had, never would. So it was somewhat disconcerting to be doing this—at once so familiar and so very different.

"Keep your hands on the table," he ordered, voice low and hard. He heard her quick intake of breath. Her head was turned to the side, and he could see when her tongue darted out, licking over her lips.

Good. She wasn't scared of him.

He bent, his hands at her ankle. He mimicked the first part of the pat down, running his hand up her leg. But of course, this wasn't a normal pat down, and wasn't meant to be. He continued along the inside of her upper leg and cupped her. She whimpered as he rubbed his hand from back to front, pressing over her jeans.

"What, ungh… What do you think you're going to find there, Officer?" Bella asked, her voice breathless and husky.

Rather than answer, he grabbed her by the arm again, pulling her upright. "Put your hands on your head."

"Fuck," Bella murmured under her breath, but she obeyed.

Edward put his hands on either side of her waist and moved them up. Again, switching things away from a proper pat down, he moved his hands to cup her breasts.

It was one of the most erotic moments of his life—having her body up against his like this, feeling the way her heart thudded. The tiny whines and whimpers she made as he rolled her nipples between his fingers made his thoughts go feral. Keeping one hand on her head, she moved the other to his hair and threaded her fingers through it. He brushed one hand up her neck, grasping her face and turning it toward him. He kissed her, hard, his tongue meeting hers, licking the taste of mint toothpaste off her breath.

"You don't do this to all your prisoners, do you?" Bella asked.

"Bella," he growled, nipping at the skin of her neck. "Are you asking me if I sexually assault the people I arrest?"

"Just checking."

"Do you know what else I don't do with them?"

"What?"

He didn't speak. He bent her over again so she caught her hands on the table. He ran his hands down her body and around, unbuttoning her jeans and shoving them down so they pooled at her ankles. He leaned over her, catching her kiss as he rubbed between her legs.

Apparently, dinner could wait a little longer.

* * *

 **A/N: Somehow, two of my prereaders missed the line where Edward turned the stove off. So don't worry. There will be no housefire. ;)**

 **Happy Monday, kiddos. Be back soon.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Nerd dictionary:**

 **Thank, Chuck - Supernatural fans believe the character Chuck is actually God (in the show). So they say Thank, Chuck a lot.**

 **Mjölnir - Thor's Hammer**

 **A/N: I forgot that Wookiee is spelled with two e's. My bad.**

* * *

"Do you want to come in?" Bella asked, breathless and eager. Again. Christ, how could she want him again?

She was pressed up against her front door, Edward pressed against her, kissing her goodbye. It was a very thorough goodbye kiss on an early Monday morning.

Edward tightened his hands at her waist and groaned. "Yes, I want to come in." He sighed and kissed her more sweetly before he pulled back enough to look her in the eyes. "But I shouldn't. I'm going to be late as it is."

"I told you I could Uber back to Orange County."

"It wasn't any trouble." He leaned in again, pressing his lips against her ear so she could feel the vibration of his voice as he spoke. "I'm the problem. If I get you inside, I'm only going to want you again."

"So little self control, Officer."

"Hmm." He kissed her again and rubbed her back. "It's going to be hard not to see you for a week. Can I text you? Or will you text me?"

She widened her eyes in mock shock. "What? You intend to use your Smartphone to engage in social media communication? Surely, an eight hundred dollar device is only used to make phone calls."

"Hey, I Google. I watch Netflix and Hulu and HBOGo to feed my Game of Thrones habit. It's texting, Bella. It's not Snapface or Instabook or whatever."

This time, her stare of shock wasn't faked. "Killing me, Smalls. You are killing me. I mean, it's one thing not to _use_ social media, but Instabook? Really? That literally pains me." She rubbed her chest in illustration. "Ouch."

He looked only too amused with himself. "I'm kidding. I've seen that movie. You know, the one with what's his face? Michael Cera?"

Her eyes widened again. "You're messing with me."

He grinned, full of mischief. "Well, yeah."

"Thank, Chuck," she said, breathing a sigh of relief. "You were teetering on the edge of one too many deal breakers for a hot minute there."

"Social media ignorance and actor recognition? That's important stuff."

"A girl has to have her standards."

"Mmhmm." He cupped her butt, pulling her up against him yet again. "You're silly, you know that? Do you know how many Facebook profiles I have to troll during an investigation?"

"Nope. Lucky for me, cop procedurals are not a part of my nerdity. Although sometimes Matthew Gray Gubler makes me consider it." She waggled her eyebrows.

"You have a thing for nerds."

She spread her hand over his chest, above his Imperial tattoo. "I know it must come as a shock."

One more kiss and Edward sighed, stepping backward. "I'll see you Saturday," he said.

Bella bit the inside of her cheek. It was really unreasonable that the idea of seeing him again so soon made her both giddy and sad. Five days seemed like too long, and that was ridiculous. At the same time, she was already looking forward to date number four. And wondering if they were going to make it out of the house, but that was neither here nor there.

Finally, she made it inside. The split second the door closed, Bella let loose the huge grin she'd been trying to curb. Then, she winced as she took a few steps forward.

"That good, huh? Are you actually walking bow-legged?"

Bella yelped and spun around, facing her living room. Alice was sitting on the couch, dressed and ready to start the day despite the fact it was so early. "Why are you in my house?"

Her look became furtive, and she ran a hand through her short hair. "I came last night. I used my key."

"Oh," Bella said, huffing out a breath. Now that she wasn't so startled and thinking clearer, she understood instantly.

Alice had a loving husband and a beautiful little boy. She also had a hell of a mental illness that made her head loud sometimes. Jasper did his best to understand, but it was difficult for him; he'd never dealt firsthand with mental illness before he met Alice. Bella's place was her safe haven, which is why she had a key.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here last night," Bella said, going to sit by Alice on the couch.

Her friend's wide grin returned. "Ah, that is easily forgiven." She twined her arm through Bella's and gave her a little shake. "You, my Isabella, were supposed to be home yesterday _afternoon._ Now, I know you went on a date or two with oh my God, I met a guy. How did we jump from that to the walk of shame?"

"You can't do the walk of shame when you're not ashamed of what you did," Bella said, tilting her chin up with a smirk.

"Go girl. You get it."

"I got it. That's the point."

Alice shook her head. "You don't usually do one night stands, that's all. You're a three date minimum gal usually."

"And we went on three dates."

"In three days? This is a story I have to hear."

Bella spilled. Alice's eyes got wider and wider. When Bella was done, she sat back. "This situation calls for wine."

"It's seven o'clock in the morning."

"Seven forty-five. A mimosa then."

"One can't hurt."

They moved their meeting to the kitchen. Orange juice and champagne were put to good use. Bella groaned. "This is pure insanity, right? Tell me this is crazy. I'm missing something. A sign."

"A sign of what?"

"I don't know." Bella took a long pull of her drink. "Did you know, cops abuse their wives and girlfriends at double the national rate? Abusers are very charming. It's a common theme, you know. They come in. Sweep a girl off her feet in a whirlwind romance, and…" She waved a hand.

Alice tilted her head. "Do you really think that?"

Bella slumped. She remembered the dichotomy of his tattoos. His guilt over his troubled childhood. "No. No part of me thinks that, but that's what scares me. I trust him, but I barely know him. It's been four days. Four _days,_ Alice."

"And, by your own admission, you're swept off your feet into a whirlwind romance." Alice sounded entirely too gleeful.

Bella covered her face with her hands. "God." She grinned. Hard. She couldn't help it. "He's…" She shook her head. "I don't know."

Alice whistled. "You have it bad, baby girl."

"I know."

 _~0~_

It wasn't difficult to find Bella online. That was the point, Edward knew, but as a cop, it made him nervous. She was so accessible.

There were a lot of reasons for the LAPD's ban on social media. One of them was because it was inevitable that some of the force would make enemies. And some of the enemies wouldn't hesitate to use family as pawns if they were accessible.

Edward rubbed a hand over his eyes. _Family, huh, Cullen?_

It didn't matter. Bella was who she was, and her online presence was part of that. No point in dwelling on it for the moment. He found Bella's YouTube channel and scrolled through the list of videos.

"Oh, holy hell," he muttered.

On the screen, Bella grinned at him. Her hair was longer, pulled up into a high ponytail. She was wearing workout gear-a tank top that said Fe male: the original iron man. Everything hugged her form just right.

"Hey, cats and kittens," she said, waving at the camera. "Here's the thing. I'm doing a Black Widow cosplay for my next con. I have to be able to fight like her, right? You know. Just in case someone puts me to the test. It makes sense, right?" She winked, and Edward was totally charmed. "Come on. Tell me you don't want to do that thing she does with her legs. Man. I'll tell you what. There are worse ways to go out than between Scarlett Johansson's thighs of steel."

He sat back, watching a cut of her lesson. It was surprisingly funny, given that it was also terrifying. Bella was so small. Watching her get tossed around like a ragdoll made him wince.

By the end of the lesson, Bella looked bedraggled but happy. "Damn," she said, huffing and puffing. "She makes it look so easy."

"What's this?"

Edward was too slow to react before his partner yanked the phone from his hand. "Hey."

"Ohhh." Tanya grinned, sitting beside him in the otherwise empty office where he often ate his lunch. "She's very flushed."

"Give me that," Edward said, making a play for the phone.

Tanya held it out of his reach. "Hey, fighting like Black Widow. Now that's a life goal." She let him take his phone back. "You know, I got a friend on the crew of Civil War. Spoiler alert, okay, but so worth it. Apparently, Nat tries to smother Bucky with her pussy. Now, that's a trick I'd like to master."

Edward smirked at his partner. "From all the stories you tell, you've already mastered that particular trick."

Tanya snickered and smacked his arm. "You have a point there, Cullen." She pointed with her chin. "So, I mean, I'm not arguing. The girl is hot and all, but surely there's better porn than that."

Edward's lip twitched as he debated his options. It was _very_ early in this relationship-was it even a relationship yet-to let his partner in on it. The force was like a band of brothers. Pain in the ass brothers who wouldn't fail to razz him.

"I met her," he said, choosing his words carefully. "When I was working the beat around the con."

"My So-Called Nerdy Life," Tanya read the name of the channel. "Video blogging. Huh. Well, everyone has to have a hobby."

Edward huffed, but didn't answer.

"So, you score a hot date or what?" Tanya prodded.

"Or what," Edward said after a beat, deciding now wasn't the time to share. "Time to get out there?"

"Yep. Let's hit it."

A plan formed as they walked through the station toward their car. He had a feeling he was going to regret this, and yet, the payoff would be so worth it if it worked.

"So," he said as they got in the car.

"So," Tanya answered.

"How well do you know this person on the crew of Civil War, and do they owe you a favor by chance?"

 _ **~0~**_

Bella was trying to put together a swag bag of some of the free stuff she'd gotten at the convention. Giveaways were always popular among her followers. Her phone chimed as she was trying to figure out what the card she'd gotten from the DC panel entitled her to.

Edward: What's your stance on spoilers?

A thrill went down Bella's spine, but she couldn't help the tinge of disappointment. She'd been looking forward to his text; had even waged an extensive internal debate about whether or not she should sexy text him. Would it be weird for her to text him that she missed the feel of his cock in her hands? She did. She also missed the way his back arched up when she touched him like that.

So she'd kind of hoped he would make the first dirty text move. Or hell, why not let her inner romantic freak flag fly? She wanted some lovey dovey bullshit about how amidst handing out tickets and chasing down perps, he couldn't stop thinking about the way she looked in his bed.

However, she was a nerd. The word spoilers made her ears perk up like a dog when anyone even looked at the kitchen.

Bella: The old ones tell tales of the days before 9/11. Call sheets and shooting locations used to be easily accessible, and spoilers were abundant in a land of good and plenty. That was before the dark times. Before the Empire… and an increase in security.

Edward: Fascinating history lesson. Spoilers. Yes or no?

Bella: The answer is always yes. For what, though.

Edward: Civil War.

Bella nearly dropped her phone. Civil War spoilers weren't exactly scarce at this point in the game, but she was dying for anything new. She told herself not to get too excited. This was going to be one of those things where someone who wasn't _really_ in the know caught a whiff of old news and went to her proudly as though this was new information she couldn't possibly know.

Bella: You have my attention, copper.

Edward: I have to confess. I don't have the spoilers yet.

Bella furrowed her eyebrows at the phone. "Yet?"

Bella: Are they in a secure location? Do you need to make a drop? Is it still under investigation, or are you and your partner playing good cop/bad cop as we speak, trying to get the info? Wait. Are you the good cop or the bad cop?

Edward: That was a lot of questions. How would you feel about helping me interrogate the cast?

Bella: Edward, you're not going to tell me you hauled them in for...what? Drunk driving? God, I hope not. Chris Evans seems so wholesome.

Edward: If anyone was going to drive drunk, I'd put good money on Jeremy Renner.

Bella: Hello? Robert Downey actually has a history of abusing potent substances.

Edward: Yeah, but he's on the straight and narrow now.

Bella: Hey, Red Five. Stay on target. What about interrogating the cast for spoilers?

Instead of a text reply, an image came up. It looked like tickets. Bella pressed to enlarge it. Then she screamed and dropped the phone. Then she dove after the phone, looked at it again, and started bouncing around the house, squeaking.

Somehow, she managed to connect the call she wanted to make. "Hey," Edward said in greeting.

"Are you fucking serious? Is this a joke? I swear on Captain America's shield… No. Thor's hammer! I swear on fucking Mjölnir that I'll never forgive you if, if, if-"

"They're real tickets."

Bella's screech of pleasure had to have burst his eardrums. "How did you do this, Edward? How many cocks did you have to suck to get us in the theater for the red carpet premiere of Civil War? Oh, my god."

He was chuckling. That rich, deep laughter that would have made her smile if she wasn't already over the fucking moon. "I wish I could see your face right now."

"Hold on." Bella held phone away from her face, hit the camera, snapped a picture of what had to be her most maniacal face possible, and sent it off. "Not for nothing, but if you'd been on Snapchat…"

"Bella..."

"Sorry. You're perfect. You're amazing. I promise I'll like you better than Sebastian Stan when I meet him." She bounced in place. "Sebastian Stan!"

He huffed. "So much for liking me better."

"No. I do. I will. I...I…" She pressed her lips together quickly.

I love you.

It had almost slipped out. It caught her off guard. Yeah, he was incredible. He was hot and nerdy, and hot and dirty, with just the edge of a tortured bad boy. He was funny, tender, and sweet. She was head over heels, but in love?

It had been three dates, for fuck's sake.

He'd given her access to the damn Avengers. She was just overexcited. That was all.

Really.

* * *

 **A/N: You know what happens when your prereaders are a bunch of Marvel fangirls? CHAOS. Chaos in the docs.**

 **Ya nerds.**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Okay, confession. I don't actually watch any professional vloggers. Ergo, I was unaware that Vloggers use schmancy cameras. Silly me. I thought they used computers. Let us pretend that's what I wrote in previous chapters, eh?**

 **Nerd dictionary:**

 **Konami code - A cheat code that worked with many Konami brand video games.**

* * *

Edward had raised his hand to knock on the door when it came flying open. It was a good thing he had quick reflexes, because all he saw was a Bella blur before she'd jumped into his arms. "Whoa," he said, huffing out a breath as she wrapped her legs around him.

Bella started peppering his face with kisses. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you."

"Did I do something I forgot about in the last five minutes?" Edward asked, kissing her back. He liked the feel of her in his arms. He especially liked the feel of her ass in his hands.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, grinning at him. "I know it's been four days since you told me about Civil War, but you were in LA, and I was here." She tilted her head. "I thought about driving to LA to give you a thank you blow job, but I felt like that was a little stalkery."

He laughed, not quite sure if he was more stunned or turned on. "Um, babe? A blow job is a little beyond stalkery behavior, technically speaking, but I wouldn't have thought any less of you for it."

"That's good to know." She kissed him again and hopped down. "I'm glad you're here."

"That makes two of us. But I do have a question."

"What's that?" Bella asked.

"What's that?" Edward asked.

She wrinkled her nose. "You're not about to play shadow, right?"

He smirked. "The incessant noise in the background, Bella. What is that?"

"Oh." Her smile brightened. "The other man in my life." She took his hand and pulled him into the house.

Edward was distracted the second he walked in the house. He stopped short. "Wow."

Bella's place was, as promised, a wall-to-wall nerd haven. Posters, memorabilia… there was a battle hanging from her roof. An honest to god starship battle between a mixture of Star Wars, Star Trek, and Firefly vessels hung from the ceiling. He craned his head, trying to see everything. "Who's winning?"

"Huh? Why have you stopped." Bella went back for him and took his hand again. "Come on. You should meet Jake."

"Okay." Edward blinked. "Wait. Who?" His attention swung back to the awful noise. A yip-yip-yip sound. "What the hell is that?"

The source of all the commotion turned out to be a chocolate brown… thing. It was a dog; that much was clear, but it was little and ugly. Its body was low to the ground as it snarled and barked at Edward.

Bella banged her fist on the glass. "Hey. Stop it." The dog looked up at her, its growl going low in its chest. She pointed at it. "Jake. Settle. Sit."

It huffed, but it sat. Bella grinned. "Good boy. I'm going to open the door, and you're going to be nice to my friend."

"What happens if he's not nice?" Edward said under his breath. As a cop, he'd had more than one run-in with a not-so-nice dog. It never ended well for anyone.

"Oh, he's fine. He's a nice dog." Bella opened the door and caught the little dog before he could dart at Edward. "Jake," she admonished when it started yipping again. "Cut it out." She caught his muzzle in between her fingers. He gave one last, muffled huff before he gave it up.

"Here. Give me your hand," Bella said, reaching out for him.

Edward put on his most patient face and tried to pretend he understood what everyone saw in dogs. "Hey, boy. You're a...cute...dog?" He reached his hand out slowly. Jacob snapped his teeth a scant inch away from his fingers. Edward yanked his hand back. "Fuck. Okay. You're not cute. You're an ugly looking mongrel. You look like you could be an alien creature on Star Trek."

"Jeez, Edward. Tell him how you really feel," Bella said, fixing him with a gimlet-eyed stare. She set the dog down, and he set about sniffing at Edward's feet.

"I'm sorry," he said with a grimace. He leaned down. The dog jumped back, startled, and started yipping again. "Hey, calm down. Just calm down. I was trying to show you what a real dog can do." He pulled up the leg of his jeans up to show them both the side of his ankle.

"Oh, wow. What is this?" Bella stooped and gasped. "Is this a dog bite?"

"Mmhmm. I got it when I was a rookie. Chased a suspect into a backyard. Dog didn't like it very much." He caught her horrified eyes and smiled. "Don't worry. It was a glancing blow."

"How did you get him off before he got you worse?"

He put his hands on his hips in the classic cop stare. "I'm afraid that's classified, ma'am."

Bella stood up and splayed her hand wide on his chest. "That's the FBI, genius. Maybe the CIA."

He put a hand to her waist, bringing her closer to him. "Well, maybe now's a good time to have this conversation." He looked up at her, feeling his lips tug down. "It's not easy, you know. My job. Some of the things I've done and I've seen."

She screwed up her face, looking at him. "Did you shoot the dog?"

"No. _I_ didn't." He hated watching her face fall. "It happens. A lot of things happen."

He could see she was trying not to freak out. It was a reaction she was used to. The realities of police work weren't always easy to accept. But she made an effort to smile at him. "So serious. Is this really fourth date material?"

"I know." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Hell. I'm sorry. This isn't going how I wanted it to go. It was just such a natural segue."

She chuckled and pushed up onto her tiptoes to kiss him-a small, reassuring kiss. Jake, at her feet, yipped. "Come on." She took Edward's hand. "If we're going to have this conversation, I feel like there should be alcohol involved."

They moved their conversation to the kitchen. Edward would have thought that if there was one room in the house that couldn't be nerd-ed out, it would be the kitchen. He would have been way off. Bella's kitchen was a nerd's dream. There was a TARDIS and Dalek salt and pepper shaker set sitting in the middle of the table. On the wall hung a collection of extraordinarily nerdy coffee mugs. An R2-D2 sat on the counter, and he could see a Millennium Falcon cutting board. There were Starfleet Insignias on her dishtowels and her oven mitts were Nintendo Power Gloves.

"Do you want a beer?" she asked, going to the fridge which was covered in magnets-all of them show, movie, or book related.

"Hold on. I think I'm having a nerdgasm. Christ, Bella. This house is amazing."

"You like it?" She sounded shy when she asked. Shy and pleased.

"Can the Millennium Falcon make the Kessel run in less than twelve parsecs?"

She grinned. "You're a gigantic nerd, Edward Cullen. I like you." A more serious look came over her face before she turned back to the fridge. "Which is why you want to have this conversation, right? The know what I'm getting into conversation?" She straightened again, holding two beer bottles.

He took the bottles from her, and with his other hand, pulled her closer. He stroked her chin, looking into her pretty, brown eyes. "I'm not the type who wastes time when I know what I want. It's been a week, and I know that's insane, but I can see this turning into something so good, Bella. So yeah, there are things I want you to know, because I don't want you to be shocked. Shocks have a tendency of making things feel worse than they are-bigger."

Bella worried her lip between her teeth as she looked up at him. She swallowed hard and nodded. "Okay. That makes sense. Let's talk then."

They sat down across from each other at her table. Edward felt strangely like he was in an interrogation room, and he was on the wrong side. But then, he'd never been in an interrogation room that had beer. He took a long pull.

"So, have you killed a dog?" Bella asked.

"No. I've kicked more than a few, though. They're protective. I get that." He tilted his chin over at Jake who had followed them into the kitchen. He was playing with a chew toy, but Edward noticed the way he kept an eye on him. "But my priority is usually elsewhere, you know? No time to make friends. And some people specifically train their dogs to be vicious."

She nodded slowly. "Have you killed a person?"

"No." That was the one he'd been expecting; the one he was frankly surprised hadn't come up already.

"Shot a person?"

"One. In the shoulder."

Another nod. "They deserve it?"

"Yes. He was about to shoot me."

She blanched. "Was he the only one?" Her voice came out as a squeak.

"Only one who what?"

"Who's tried to shoot you!"

He looked her in the eyes, holding her gaze, and shook his head.

"Oh, Christ." She gulped at her beer.

"It doesn't happen every day, Bella. And most assholes don't actually know how to shoot. You know the saying they can't hit the broadside of a barn? That's pretty literal for a lot of reasons. The bad guys don't put in as much time as I do at a firing range."

"Okay." Bella closed her eyes briefly and attempted a small smile. "Yeah. Cops and guns. That goes together. I get it." She took a deep breath. "Ever made a bad call?"

"Yes. Of course." He hesitated a moment and then rested his hand, palm up, on the table. It gave him no small measure of comfort that she put her hand in his. He stroked his thumb across her knuckles. "The man I mentored with-you know, he taught me the ropes when I was a rookie-saved my life when I made a near-fatal mistake."

She squeezed his hand convulsively, and he squeezed back, reassuring her he was still here. He smiled at her. "He told me mistakes were inevitable. Our job doesn't always happen at a pace that lets us consider all possible courses of action. We may not have all the information, and people are unpredictable." His lip twitched. "He said, sometimes, you don't even know you made the wrong call until you go home and tell your wife. You watch her face fall, and you know. He said, don't get cocky, learn from your mistakes and the mistakes of your fellow officers, and respect people. Hope you never make the kind of mistakes that ends up on social media. Your wife's disappointment is more than enough weight on your shoulders for anyone."

"And if you don't have a wife, you're scot-free?" Bella asked, not quite kidding yet.

Edward ducked his head. "Well, for me, so far, my barometer has been my father and mother. They're such good, kind people. I don't think they would ever make some of the mistakes I made."

This time, it was Bella who squeezed his hand in reassurance. "There's no such thing as a person who doesn't make mistakes. Doctors, cops… people like you are braver than the rest of us, because you still go to work every day, do your job even though you know your worst mistake could cost someone their life. That takes some major balls, man. The worst mistake I ever made in my job was to block someone from my message boards when they weren't the one in the wrong."

"My dad's a doctor," Edward said.

She reached out and touched her hand to his cheek. "Have you ever asked him what his worst mistake was?"

Edward looked up, somewhat shocked at that. The idea his father could make a mistake wasn't one that came naturally to Edward. In fact, every part of him wanted to argue with her, but that was ridiculous. She was right; even Carlisle and Esme Cullen, both of whom he revered, could and had made mistakes.

He looked away from Bella, thinking back to his troubled childhood. When they took him in, adopted him as their own, he'd cried himself to sleep for weeks on end. It had just hurt. They were so good, and he was so bad. He didn't deserve them.

"Hey." Bella stood up and came to stand beside him. She put an arm around his shoulders and guided his head to rest on her breast. "I don't know where the hell you just went, but you should come back. I have an overdue blow job to give you."

Edward inhaled so quickly, he started to choke. Bella helpfully pounded him on the back. "What… what did you say?"

She laughed and then flashed him an innocent smile. "Me? Nothing. Come on. I want to show you the rest of the place."

He let her pull him to his feet and into the living room. There, she pushed him down into a comfortable reclining chair and quickly straddled him. His umph of surprise was muffled against her lips as she kissed him. Edward closed his eyes, returning her kiss. He loved kissing her. He licked the remnants of beer from her tongue.

"This isn't like any other house tour I've been on," he murmured between kisses. He trailed his fingers along her side.

"I get distracted easily." She took his face in her hands, pulling back to look at him. "You're too hot for your own good, officer. I just can't help myself."

"So little self control," he admonished, letting his hands slip beneath her shirt and up her back. He knew it had been less than a week, but he'd missed the feel of her skin beneath his fingertips.

"The pot said to the kettle. You said the same thing to me last week."

"Ah, you were naked at the time, Bella. It's different." He wouldn't have been able to keep his hands off her if she was wearing five layers of clothing, but he wasn't going to tell her that.

"Mmmhmm." She leaned in to kiss him again but this time, she began to move on his lap.

He groaned, his hips automatically bucking up against her as she began to grind. Whatever was left of the heaviness from a few minutes ago fell away like nothing. There was nothing in the world but this woman in his arms-her heat, her fingers in his hair on his neck, her wet, firm lips moving with his.

When she slid backward, onto her knees on the floor, Edward actually whimpered. He hadn't been ready to let her go yet. But his muddled brain caught up when she undid the fly of his jeans. A little shifting, and she had his cock in her hands.

"Bella." The word came out strangled. Some part of him was still thirsty for her kisses, starved to feel her against him again. But she'd been staring at his cock for almost a full minute now, one hand clasped around the base, the other almost absently fondling his balls. "What are you-"

"Shhh." She had such a serious look on her face, he would have laughed under other circumstances. "A cock like yours necessitates a game plan."

Now he did laugh. He never knew what to expect from this woman. "What are you talking about?" he asked, stroking his fingers through her silky hair.

"You're so thick." As if to demonstrate, she stroked her hand up and down the length of his shaft. He had to struggle not to buck into her hand. "I like that, when you fuck me. I like the way you stretch me and fill me."

"Christ," he murmured under his breath. His cock twitched in her hand. His nipples ached-he was that turned on. "That mouth, baby." He cupped her cheek, running a thumb over her lips.

She kissed the pad of his thumb. "Well, exactly. You know they teach you from childhood not to stuff your mouth full."

"Oh, god." He banged his head on the back of the chair, trying not to laugh. Just as quickly, he hissed as she did something fantastic with his balls. He swallowed hard. "There's an easy solution, you know. Come back up here."

"Psshh. I'm not the type that shies away from a challenge." Her grin turned devilish, and she dipped her head, taking his tip in her mouth. She licked around him, taking in a few more inches before she raised her head again. "You know what the secret to a good blow job is?"

He groaned again. She was teasing him. He knew that. It was driving him crazy, but he wasn't going to beg. Really. "What's the secret."

"The Konami code."

He laughed again, the sound just as strained as it had been before. She was rubbing the midpoint of his shaft with her thumb. "What?"

"For a thick cock like yours where it might take some time before I can take all of you in? First, you cover some ground with your fist, as so." She wrapped her hand around his base again, her grip firm. "Up, up." She stroked him up to about the midpoint of his cock. "Down, down." She stroked down to the base again. "Left, right, left, right." She gave him the slightest of tugs in each direction. "B, A." She pressed her thumb on his left ball and his right ball in turn. "Start."

Edward's laugh turned into a long moan as she took him in her mouth again, this time enveloping several inches. She licked him, dragging her tongue along the upper part of his shaft while using video game cheat codes to work the bottom part of his shaft and his balls.

She worked him slow until he was writhing, panting, her name falling from his lips between, "oh, yeah, baby," and, "that's so sweet." She worked him faster until he thrust up into her mouth and fisted her hair in his hand. She swallowed, the suction around his cock as he pulsed into her mouth driving him right out of his mind. And when he was spent-boneless with his head lolling against the back of the chair, she licked him clean, tucked him back in, and zipped him up.

When she got to her feet, Edward took her hand, and pulled her down onto his lap. He wrapped his arm around her and kissed her-a breathless kiss, seeing as he was still winded. "I have a confession to make," she said, resting her head against his.

"Mmm. I'll take you down to the station later."

She chuckled. "Not that, officer." She turned her head to kiss his cheek. "I was playing a wicked game of Mortal Kombat."

He raised his head, staring at her wide-eyed. "With my dick? Bella, don't play Mortal Kombat with my dick. That's worrisome. It's way too bloody."

"Relax. You're the control. Nothing ever happens to the controller." She tilted her head. "Unless it's a Wii-mote."

Edward laughed and kissed her. "Nerdiest blow job in the world. And the best."

"Nerds always do it better."

* * *

 **A/N: Okay, so. Fair warning. Summer school starts up this week. Because I am a crazy person, I'm taking four classes in a five week stint. Ergo, updates might be a bit sporadic for the next five weeks.**

 **How we doing out there, kiddos?**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Good morning, kiddos.**

* * *

Bella had never liked dawn. There were always better things to do at dawn. Like sleep. It was the best time to be asleep.

Maybe that was the biggest change Edward had brought to her life so far. Good things happened at dawn. She'd met him in the early morning hours, and now…

Now, oh hell. She woke to the the feather-light brush of Edward's lips against her skin. She didn't open her eyes, reveling in the thrills the sensation shot down her spine. He traced the line of her jaw with his gentle kisses and draped a hand over her waist. His fingertips skimmed the globes of her ass, and she shivered.

Bella turned her head to catch his kiss and whimpered when he evaded her. She opened her eyes, blinking in the dim light. Her breath caught. For a handful of seconds, she thought she had to be still asleep. Or if she was awake, he had to be the remnants of a dream.

There was a beautiful man in her bed. His smile was gentle, his eyes hooded with sleep and brilliant green.

There was a sexy man in her bed. His hair was carelessly tousled. His chin and cheeks were shaded with stubble. She liked the line of his muscular bicep, especially the way it moved his half-sleeve tattoo.

"You're so beautiful," he said, curling a finger under her chin. He tilted her head up, his eyes on her lips. "And sexy."

Shit, was he a mind reader? Bella didn't have time to ponder the possibility before he kissed her.

It was a gentle kiss at first, just like the ones he'd dropped along her jawline. She gasped into his mouth when she felt his hand on her knee. He pushed her legs open and cupped her, rubbing her clit with the heel of his hand as he deepened their kiss. He shifted, pushing her onto her back and-

A low growl and a woof was all the warning they had before they were attacked. Jake jumped up on the bed. Specifically, he jumped at Edward. Jumped at. Jumped on. Edward reared up onto his knees in surprise, and he screamed.

Like Dean Winchester in Yellow Fever: a long, high pitched yell of fright.

Bella clapped her hands over her mouth, but it was no use. She laughed. The betrayed look in his eyes only made it worse. Soon, she was shrieking with laughter.

"Fuck," he muttered under his breath. He rubbed at his eyes, looking like an overgrown child. "You can't hold that against me. I was mostly asleep."

Bella rolled over, burying her face in her pillow. She gasped for breath.

Then she gasped again when he delivered a sharp but playful smack to her ass. "Hey," she rolled over, still tittering a bit. "Oh, you don't want to unleash that side of me yet, newbie."

Jake yipped and bounced up on the bed again, jumping toward Edward. Bella caught him and set him back on the ground. She pointed at him. "Settle. Settle," she said warningly. "Sit."

"Yeah, mongrel. Sit." Edward leaned over Bella and kissed her. "Now, tell me about what side it is I'm not supposed to unleash."

"Come on. You know the geekiest ones are the freakiest ones." She ran her hands up and down his bare shoulders. "I'm not sure you can handle it."

"Bella." His voice was a low rumble, and he attacked her neck. He kissed and nipped at her skin.

She groaned, winding her arms around him. "If the dog made you scream…"

He got back on his knees, looking down on her with a stern look on his face. She couldn't hold back her giggle.

Then, in a lightning fast move, he had flipped her onto her belly. He got her arms behind her back, and was over her again in a heartbeat. He pinned her wrists and leaned over her, whispering in her ear. "I play with handcuffs for a living."

That was too much for Jake. He started to bark again, and then he started to whine. It was a whine Bella was familiar with.

She turned her face to the side, breathless. "He needs to go out."

"What?"

Bella bit the inside of her lip, stifling a groan. There wasn't much she wanted more than him inside her right then, but she was a responsible pet parent. "He needs to pee," she said with a sigh.

He muttered something under his breath, but he released her. "You know I hate that mutt, right?"

Bella sat up and smirked at him. "His name is Jake. Jacob if you want to be formal about it."

"His name is Cockblocking Bastard."

She poked his side. "Say his name."

His eyes traveled down her body to her bare breasts. He looked up at her, one eyebrow raised. "That's not the name I want to call in your bed." He grimaced as she pulled a shirt on over her head. "Damn. You know what I like about cats?"

"Besides color coordinating them to match your bland walls?" Bella asked, looking around for pants.

"I didn't…" He huffed, standing and pulling his jeans on. He picked up her jeans and walked to her side of the bed, but when she reached a hand out for them, he took her hand and pulled her toward him. He cupped her bottom and kissed her. "You don't have to walk cats," he said, brushing the tip of his nose against hers.

She pushed up onto her tiptoes, kissing him back. She was a big fan of kissing Edward, she decided. She wanted to create a fandom and obsessively follow it online. The kissing Edward fandom.

Wait, no. That would involve finding other members of that particular fandom. Do not want.

Jake whined again, and Bella groaned. She reached between Edward's legs and gave him a squeeze through his pants, grinning when he gasped. She used the surprise to yank her jeans from his fingers. "Gotta walk the dog."

Edward sighed and yawned as he watched her. "Want some company?"

"Sure, if you want to."

Another minute later, they were both acceptably dressed for a stroll down the quiet street. They'd been walking for a bit when Edward reached out and took her hand. She glanced at him, feeling ridiculously shy as they twined their fingers together. She had to swallow hard past the lump in her throat. "My, my. What will the neighbors think?"

"Hmmm. You're right. It is ungentlemanly of me to involve you in a scandal." He sighed. "Better make it official then." Edward pulled them to a stop on the sidewalk.

Bella was confused. Jake tugged at his leash, impatient to keep exploring. Then, Edward got to one knee, and Bella's heart stopped.

"Bella Swan." He took a deep breath. "Will you be my geek girlfriend?"

Bella blinked. It was then she noticed he did, indeed, have a ring in his hand. It was purple. A purple robot with thick, geek glasses. A child's ring. She let out her breath in a woosh. "Jesus Christ." She started to giggle as she took the ring from him. "Yes, you geeky bastard. Get up so I can kiss the hell out of you."

He got up, and she threw her arms around his neck, leash and all. Jake wasn't pleased. He yipped at their feet, but Bella was too busy making good on her promise to kiss her new boyfriend half to death.

"You scared the hell out of me, Edward," she murmured against his lips.

He snickered. "What? You're not ready to marry a guy you met last week?" He rubbed her back, holding her close in a hug. "Boyfriend status after a week is already moving a little fast, isn't it?"

She squeezed him once and then stepped back, though she kept his hand. They started walking again. "Well, let's think here. I suppose the great romances of all time have been slow burns, but really, what good did it do them? Let's take Han and Leia, for instance."

"As a parallel for us, I'm not sure that one works. Han and Leia fought like cats and dogs in the first/fourth movie."

"Yeah, but we all know he liked her, come on. Anyway, as any good geek knows, _Empire_ takes place three years after _A New Hope_. The sexual tension is off the charts by then, and either one of them has yet to put a ring on it."

"Though, in their defense, they didn't have Space Beyonce to give them sage romantic advice."

"The point is, in three years, they didn't get their shit together. Look what happened. First kiss inside a gigantic worm, followed by torture, and Han getting stuck in carbonite for a year. And, Leia kissed her brother in the meantime." Bella waved her hand out wide in an 'I rest my case' motion.

"Again, in her defense, none of them knew they were related." He gave her the side eye. "Do you have any siblings?"

She laughed. "One, but he's five. Then again, in the analogy, I wouldn't know I had a sibling. Keep up, Cullen."

"Right. My bad. So what you're saying is that going for the slow burn leaves us open to surprise sibling romances and torture by my future father-in-law."

"Which can now be avoided because we decided we liked each other, and fuck anyone who thinks it's too soon."

"Amen to that." He grinned at her, his eyes dancing with mirth. "But what if this is a Romeo and Juliet story?"

"First of all, Romeo and Juliet is not a nerd staple. Minus points. Secondly, Romeo was a horny teenager. He wasn't in love. He married that girl to get him some punani." She loosed her hand from his so she could poke him in the side. "I would have given it up to you on date one, no strings attached. Also, our families aren't feuding."

"That depends on your definition of family. Your dog hates me. I'm pretty sure he'd hate Leah."

Bella sighed dramatically. "You're a cop. I'm a vlogger. I live on social media. You loathe it. You have an asshole cat. I have the sweetest dog."

"He tried to eat me like ten minutes ago, Bella."

"Only because he thought you were trying to eat me."

Edward huffed. "Yeah, well. He wasn't wrong."

They walked in silence a few moments. "What about your human family?" Edward asked.

Bella cackled. "My mother and stepfather live in Arizona. She'd be fine with you as a person, but the fact you're a cop would make her a little wiggy. Only because she has weed in the house. That and Gran was a flower child of the sixties."

"Doesn't trust the fuzz, huh?"

"Not inherently, no. But my dad, stepmother, and little brother are going to love you. My dad was a cop for a while, in the dinky little town I was born in."

"Wait, wait, wait. Your dad's a cop?"

"He was. At one point."

Edward clucked his tongue. "Well, they say women grow up to marry their fathers."

Bella shoved him. "Hey. First of all, I didn't get to really know my dad until I was seven, and he wasn't a cop by that point. Secondly, didn't we just agree it was too early to get married? Thirdly, tell me about your mother, because sauce for the goose…"

"My mother would be completely aghast at your house."

"Aghast. Edward, for fuck's sake. No one talks like that."

"I would remind you that my name isn't no one, but I don't want to be accused of being your dad twice in two minutes."

"Not my…" Bella closed her eyes briefly. "Okay. Continue. Your mother would probably hate me."

"No. My mother would hate your house. And she wouldn't really hate your house. She would just look around pretending she wasn't screaming inside, and then she would say it was interesting."

"Let me guess. It's your mother who helped you paint and decorate your house."

Edward laughed. "No. Mom would say that at least your house has personality. She hates my house, and she isn't polite enough to keep it from me. I'm exempt from her politeness." He smiled as he said it-a fond smile. "She's an interior decorator, and she begs me all the time to let her do the inside of my place."

"But then the cat wouldn't match the color scheme."

"Bella, for fuck's sake."

She grinned up at him innocently.

Leaning down, he pecked her lips. "They would love you. My brother too."

Bella felt a rush of nerves and warmth go through her. She got the distinct feeling that Edward had already thought about introducing her to his family. That should have scared the hell out of her, but it didn't. In fact, she was curious. She wanted to know more about this family who had taken in a wounded boy and loved him as their own.

Besides, he wasn't proposing an introduction right that minute. There was time for that. Bella twirled the robot ring around her finger, feeling a grin of giddy pleasure go through her.

She had a boyfriend. She had assurance that they were exclusive and important to each other.

Then, her face fell. She'd been thinking about the B word all week. How soon could she call a man her boyfriend? She'd told herself so many times not to be ridiculous. Edward was interested. There was no doubt about that, and that was more than enough.

It was Alice who had suggested she test the theory that Edward was okay with what she did for a living.

Bella wasn't a fan of the games people played with their partners and potential partners. It wasn't that kind of test, and it had made a lot of sense when Alice proposed it. The thing was, Bella did spend a good portion of her life on social media. It was her livelihood, and it was a huge part of who she was. More than that, it wasn't as though Bella ran a vlog that was geared toward her love of gardening. Her vlog was about her day-to-day life and adventures. She could talk about it all she wanted, but Edward needed to see what that meant in order to know if he could deal with it. On the flip side, Bella also needed to be sure she could deal with his reaction, whatever that was going to be. She'd already felt judged once.

"Show him what it's like so you can both know," Alice had said. "Before you're in too deep."

It was, Bella knew now, a little too late for that. She was in. All in, and it would hurt if he couldn't deal with what she did. But she had to know. Sooner or later, she had to know.

"So, do we have a plan today?" Edward asked as they headed back toward the house. "Or did you just invite me over for sex? Not that I mind either way." He slipped his hand into the back pocket of her jeans, giving her ass a squeeze.

"Ahh, I'm rethinking this whole theory of mine that you're nothing like Romeo. You may be even hornier. Are you going to ditch me and go back to Rosaline?"

Edward took his hand from her pocket and wrapped it around her waist, pulling her closer. He kissed the tip of her nose. "No, _girlfriend_. There's no Rosaline." He screwed up his nose. "In fact, that creeps me the hell out because it sounds like you're saying Rosalie. My sister-in-law. And no. Just no."

"I see. Well, no, we won't be having sex all day. Sorry to disappoint."

He sighed dramatically. "Somehow, I'll manage to survive. So, what are we doing?"

Bella just grinned.

* * *

 **A/N: We're going to have some fuuuunnnn.**

 **How's everyone?**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Poor, poor, poor Songster. She has zero clue wtf these kids are saying, and she still reads for me. Hearts.**

* * *

When they got back to the house, Bella shooed Edward off to shower. Apparently, whatever she had planned, it opened early. The bathroom, like every other room in the house, was wall-to-wall nerd. The bathmat was a TARDIS. So was the shower caddy. The hand towels were R2-D2 and C-3PO, and her bathrobe was Captain America.

Edward chortled to himself. He was in over his head with this; he knew that. Ironically, he felt like the nerdy kid hanging out with the cool girl when he was around her. He laughed at himself as he got out of the shower. He wrapped a Supernatural towel around his waist and ruffled the water out of his hair.

As he stepped out of the bathroom, he thought he heard her talking. He furrowed his brow. She wasn't calling out to him. Did she have someone there?

A devious thought came to mind. Nothing like a little teasing. After all, the only thing he knew for sure was it couldn't be either of her parents.

That in mind, he cinched the towel firmly around his waist and strode out of her room, following the sound of her voice.

"We have boyfriend status. Look, I have a geeky ring and everything," she was saying. He grinned. Oh, yeah. This was going to be fun.

He walked into the room, and almost as quickly stepped back.

There was no one in the room with her. Bella was talking to the computer. Specifically, she was talking to a fancy mounted camera perched on top of her computer. The computer was faced away from him, and that was the only mercy of the situation. Dread and anger curled in his stomach as she caught his eye.

"Ah. I'll check in with you guys in a bit," she said. She reached up and flipped the camera off as she stood. "Hey," she said quietly.

He looked up at her, his jaw clenched. He had to work hard to keep the betrayal he felt from coming out all at once. "Bella—"

"It's not what you think," she said, reaching a hand out toward him.

Before she could touch him, he took a step backward. He felt too raw and wounded for her soft touch.

"Edward," she said, her eyes pleading now. "Come on. Listen to me."

He nodded once, indicating he was listening.

"It wasn't a live feed, first of all. I want to do an episode today." She held up a hand before he could interrupt. "This vlog is about my life. If you're going to be a part of my life, you have to exist to them. That doesn't mean they have to see you. I don't have to name you, and I won't talk about your job, but you have to exist."

He folded his arms over his chest, his eyes still on her as he considered her words. "How am I going to exist for them if they can't see me, and I don't have a name?"

A cautious smile quirked at the corner of her lips. "I have a few nicknames I'm considering. Right now, you're creatively dubbed, 'the Boyfriend,' but I'm sure I can do better than that. Give me a bit."

Despite himself, Edward's lips twitched. He took a deep breath, some of the tension going out of him. She seemed to realize the worst of the trouble had passed, because she took a cautious step in his direction. When he didn't move, she took another step and pressed her palm to his bare chest.

"And what about the visual?" he asked. He still hadn't moved to touch her, but he didn't step out of her hold when she put her other hand to his waist.

A genuine grin spread over her face. She tilted her head up and pressed a kiss to his chin. "You'll see." She kissed him again along his jaw. "Come on. Trust me. I'll show you the video before I post it."

"And if I don't like it?"

"Then I won't post it." She kissed his jaw again, her eyes wide and innocent. "Don't be mad."

He couldn't keep a straight face. "Christ," he muttered under his breath. Heaven help him, the woman could get anything she wanted if she looked at him like that. He wound his arms around her, bringing her close. Tilting his head down, he kissed her good and proper. She moved her hands over his back, and he thought he would have forgiven her even if she'd shared a picture of him nude and sleeping with half the world.

"Tell me we're okay," she said, lips against his.

"Yeah, baby." He kissed her once more. "I trust you."

Her grin widened. "Good." Pressing both hands to his chest, she gave him a small shove backward. "Now go get dressed. We have places to be."

 _ **~0~**_

Edward started to laugh when he realized where she was taking him. "You're kidding."

"One doesn't joke about Disneyland."

"This is your idea of a good time, huh? Hour long waits for sixty-second rides only to be let out one of a million shops?"

She glanced at him quickly before returning her eyes to the road. "Don't be that guy, Cullen. Come on. How long has it been for you?"

He smiled. "My parents took me," he said. "First family outing. I was such a little shit about it." Back when their kindness was too painful, and he covered the ache with surliness.

Bella grimaced. "We don't have to go," she hedged.

"No," he said quickly. "I was giving you a hard time. I'm sure it'll be fun."

"You sound so enthusiastic."

He put his hand over hers on the shifter. "It's a good surprise, Bella. Let's do this."

"This is my favorite ride right here," Bella said some minutes later when they had parked.

Edward smirked, and reached over to take her hand. "This is an escalator."

"But it's a really, really tall." Bella looked over her shoulder as Edward enveloped her from behind, holding her close as they descended. "It just makes me feel regal."

"Well, if you're going to wear a princess dress, I suppose this would be the place for it." Though he thought he preferred the Han Solo dress she was wearing.

"That's a thought. What if I dressed up like Aurora and you could dress up like Prince Phillip?"

Edward wrinkled his nose. "Who?"

"Aurora. Sleeping Beauty. And Prince Phillip was her prince."

"They have names? Aren't they all Prince Charming?"

She clucked her tongue at him. "Prince Charming only belonged to Cinderella."

"I see." They'd made it to the bottom of the escalator by then, and were walking toward the queue for the trams. "And Snow White."

"Ah, he was just 'the Prince.' But, you know, in Disney's defense, he was really just there to make out with a corpse."

"Well, that's attractive."

They got on the tram. Edward made to put his arm around her shoulders, but Bella pulled back. "Hold on," she said. She opened her bag and began to rummage. "I need to post my first official pic with my boyfriend."

Edward quirked an eyebrow. Then, both his eyebrows made for his hairline as she pulled the cast of the Avengers in doll form out of her bag. She looked up at him. "Who do you want to be?"

It was as though time had warped, and he was sitting on his front lawn with the little girl from next door, playing with her American Girl dolls. Did he want to be Kit or Samantha? He blinked. "What?"

"Come on, bud. Time's a-wastin'." She looked down at her collection. "Hmm. Not Thor. You're not looking particularly godlike right now."

"I...don't know whether I should be insulted by that."

She winked. "Well, how about this, ace. If I'd been inclined to tweet about our shenanigans last night, I might have used Thor."

He smirked.

"Well, since we got you on Team Cap...and before we go to the premiere." She bounced in her seat. She actually bounced. "Yep. Captain America it is." She returned the rest of the dolls to her purse. "Here." She handed him a camera she'd pulled from her bag. "Since you can't post with me, you get to play photographer."

Edward watched, bemused, as she arranged herself so her arm was around the Captain America doll. It was nestled in the crook of her elbow. She raised her arm so she could tilt her head against the doll's. He had to laugh. "This is ridiculous."

"Did I ask for commentary?" she asked with mock harshness. "Take the picture."

"As you wish, Princess."

"Damn, you got two fandoms in on that one. Good job."

He took the picture and handed her camera back. This time, she let him tuck her under his arm. Not that it did much good. By that time, they were rumbling to a stop in front of Downtown Disney.

Edward shook his head slightly as Bella texted as she walked. He kept a hand to the small of her back, on the lookout for possible collisions, but she seemed to do okay despite the crowd. He imagined she was used to it.

"Are you posting that now?" he asked, glancing over her shoulder.

"Nah. Just making sure it's in the right folder, categorized, good lighting. All that jazz. It's going to be part of my video, so a little pre-work cuts down on editing time later."

They'd reached security by then. Bella slid her bag off her shoulder and set it on the table, opening it. "Christ," Edward said. "Do you really need all that?"

She was carrying equipment with her. Not an obscene amount, but enough. He could see cords, one of those tiny, bendy tripods, lenses, extra batteries.

"I told you. Vlogging is my life. This is what that looks like."

Though she kept her voice light, he could see the careful expression in her eyes. This, he abruptly realized, was important. She'd explained what she did. Now, she was showing him what he would have to put up with, being with her.

When the cast member waved them forward, he took the bag from her. "I'll help carry it," he said.

She looked like she was about to argue, but then she nodded. "That helps. I need to get us past the gate anyway."

With that, she turned her attention to her phone, bypassing the ticket line. "Wait. Don't we need a ticket?"

"Nope. I got it right here." She waved her phone.

He almost ground to a halt. "Bella. That's insane. It costs a kidney to get into this place, doesn't it."

She snickered. "It's a two-day park hopper. It cost a kidney and an arm. But I got a metal arm on the way. I can be Bucky to your Cap."

"Bella—"

"Don't start. This is my idea, my date. Shattup."

He grunted, but he knew better than to argue. Sauce for the goose and all that.

"Besides, if you decide you want to hang out with the cool people, aka the AP, then you can use your tickets toward the price of an annual pass." She flashed him a grin before she raised her phone to be scanned by the cast member at the gate.

"Tricky hobbitses," he muttered in her ear, and then turned to smile for his picture.

Once inside the gate, Bella took another picture with Captain America in front of the entrance garden—the Mickey made of flowers.

"Where to first?" he asked when he'd reclaimed her hand.

The glint in her eye should have scared him. "The problem here is that you're not fully dressed."

"What?"

She smiled sweetly and dragged him into a shop as they entered Main Street. He groaned. "Bella, no."

"Bella, yes," she said, sounding entirely too gleeful. "Mickey ear hats are a must."

He gave her the hairy eyeball, and she pulled out the big guns. She bit her lip, letting her eyes go wide. "Please?" she said in a small voice.

"Fuck me," he muttered under his breath. "Okay. Mickey hat. But that's all."

"Ah, you say that now. I bet you by the end of the weekend, you'll be in full Disney gear."

"Don't hold your breath." He looked her over. "Why don't you have ears?"

"Ha. Come on. I have a whole collection. But…" She reached over to one of the displays and produced headband-style Mickey ears with Maleficent horns. "I've been looking for an excuse to get these."

While he perused his choices, Bella modeled her new headband for the benefit of her Instagram followers. She showed him the post. The comments section was already filling with excited comments. Bella's Disney Days were apparently a popular segment on her vlog.

When they walked out, Bella with Maleficent horns and Edward sporting a somewhat creepy set of pirate Mickey ears, he felt just the slightest bit self-conscious. But then he looked at Bella. She was pressing her lips together, trying not to smile and failing miserably. "What?" he asked, tugging at the tail of the hat. "Tell me the truth. How silly do I look?"

"You look like a man in Disneyland." She pushed up on her tiptoes to kiss the tip of his nose. "I just really wish I could take a picture of you. The comments it would get..."

He rolled his eyes, but he smiled. "Where to first?"

They stopped for breakfast at the Carnation Inn where the characters wandered around as people ate. He got a lesson in how to man the video camera as she "interviewed" characters. Sometimes with her Captain America figure in hand. Several times, he had to stop himself from laughing and thereby shaking the video.

She was funny and charming. He'd seen it when he watched a few of the videos from her feed. It was no wonder she'd caught on so well.

"Don't worry, Steve," she said, putting a protective hand around Captain America and tucking him against her bosom when Captain Hook came around. "I'll protect you. It's the battle of the Captains, but you got me on your side. I'm with you to the end of the line, buddy."

Captain Hook obliged them by waving his hook menacingly. When he slinked away, defeated, Captain America rewarded her with a kiss. Edward put the camera down and picked up where Steve left off, stealing syrup-flavored kisses.

After breakfast, they headed for Tomorrowland. They got Fast Passes for Hyperspace Mountain—Space Mountain decked out Star Wars style, which Bella promised him would be cool as hell. They got in line for Star Tours. Bella told him about when the ride had reopened, annual passholders got to ride as many times as they could in a one hour window. Just one of the perks of being a passholder.

"The sales pitch begins," he teased.

"I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about."

The storyline of the Star Tours ride picked one of the guests as a rebel spy around which all the action was based. Edward turned out to be the rebel spy. Bella absolutely shrieked when his grainy picture showed up on the viewscreen with the dumbest "huh?" expression on his face.

Afterward, she was bouncing again. "I cannot believe you were the Rebel spy. And it's not fair. Do you realize how many times I've gone on that ride? How many hints I've dropped to the cast members that I want to be the Rebel spy? But nooooo. It's always some kid." She made a face. "I bet the cast member thought you were cute." She sighed. "You know what this means, right?"

"You're not going to go back and threaten them, are you?" he asked, only half kidding.

She scoffed. "Right. I don't do the jealous thing. Ew. No." Her smile brightened. "This means you _have_ to get the Rebel spy t-shirt."

"Oh, no."

"You have to. It's in the rule book or something."

He tried to talk her out of it, but she wouldn't be swayed. That was how Edward found himself decked out in a pirate Mickey ear hat and a shirt that proclaimed, "I am the Rebel Spy."

"Now that's a shirt I can get behind," he said, pointing at a Yoda shirt that had the character looking up at a sign that said, 'You must be this tall to ride.' "That's all kinds of dirty."

"Only for pervs like you," she said, smacking his arm lightly.

After a trip to the build-your-own-lightsaber station—Captain America posed for pictures wielding his, making him look more like Ant Man—they headed back out into the park.

Bella dragged him over to the former Innoventions, now decked out in all things Star Wars. They took a picture with Kylo Ren. Bella posed Captain America with his hands up as though in fright.

"Excuse me. Captain America would not be scared of an emo kid like that," Edward said, affronted on his/Steve's behalf.

Kylo Ren turned and mimed Force choking him, which of course led to Bella setting up a quick video of him doing the same to Captain America.

She dragged him on Small World despite his protests. In the end, he was glad she did. It wasn't nearly as annoying as he remembered it. It was basically a boat ride where they could relax, Bella reclined against him, pointing out various parts of the busy scenery. She whispered in his ear about an animatronic only recently removed of a little boy literally choking a chicken.

"Pics or it didn't happen," he said.

Of course, she had many pics. It was indeed an animatronic boy choking an animatronic chicken in a Disneyland ride.

In Toon Town, he got to watch her face light up with absolute glee as she steered the car round and round wildly on the Roger Rabbit ride. She stopped for a few pictures of Captain America playing with some of the gags around. There was a barbell made in cartoon style where the "bar" lifted up in the middle but the weights remained on the floor.

"Poor Steve. Couldn't lift Mjölnir, and getting weaker from there," Bella quipped patting him on the back.

"This is still supposed to be me, right?" Edward said.

She just smiled at him winningly and kissed the protest right out of him.

Bella kept up a good pace, getting them through all the good rides. He tried to get her to eat one of the gigantic turkey legs.

"You don't want to see that. The first bite is great, but then you get to the point where you're just sticking your face in the meat and everything is glistening with fat." She shook her head. "This relationship is hours old, babe. It's too soon for you to see me like that."

They rode the Matterhorn. Edward was disappointed to find they'd changed the seats so she couldn't sit on his lap, but he got to film her screaming in terror at the new Abominable Snowman they'd installed.

By the end of the night, his feet ached. He was tired, but he was happy. They stayed for the fireworks, and as his gaze darted from the fantastic display—Jesus, Disney knew how to put on a spectacular show—to Bella's awed grin, he had to admit that this place really was magical.

* * *

 **A/N: Remember, visual aids can be found in my Facebook group.**

 **How we doing out there?**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Okay, so. Upfront, you should know I've never had tickets to a movie premiere. I did a little research, and accounts vary. So, I'm making this ish up as I go along.**

* * *

"This is what I love about you, Bella. The only time you flip out about what you're wearing is when you're doing something incredibly nerdy." Alice shook her head as she watched Bella tear apart her closet.

"I flipped out trying to figure out what to wear for my date with Edward, remember?"

Alice raised an eyebrow. "Like I said. You only flip out about your clothes when you're doing something incredibly nerdy."

"Ha. He is a huge nerd," Bella said, not even bothering to hide her grin.

"How huge are we talking?" Alice made a motion with her hands guesstimating length.

"Wouldn't you like to know."

"That's why I'm asking."

"Do you think maybe we can stop talking about my boyfriend's cock long enough to figure out what I'm wearing to meet Robert Downey Jr." Bella sighed. "Ooh, and Sebastian Stan. I love Sebby."

"So if you had to choose between _Sebby_ ," she said the name mockingly, "or Edward taking you home tonight?"

"Edward wins by default. We haven't had a chance to lay out rules for our famous five freebie list."

"Your what?"

"Famous five freebie list." Bella dumped a stack of potentially acceptable dresses. "You know. Five people who are so far out of your reach, that if hell froze over, and you suddenly had a chance with them, your significant other couldn't even be mad about it."

"Ah, I beg to differ on that." Alice huffed. She took a plain, black dress and held it up against Bella. "Jasper would want to fuck some random political asshole. Just to say he did it. One of those awful bastards who use words like 'legitimate rape' and then I don't think I could ever fuck him again."

Bella batted the dress she was holding up away. "Not this one."

"Really, Bella? This is the only one that's even remotely acceptable."

"It's a regular dress." Bella screwed up her nose in distaste.

"Exactly."

"Alice, if there is anywhere to wear a truly nerdy-as-hell dress, it's a movie premiere like this one. You do know this is a comic book movie, right?"

"Ugh." Alice stomped a foot. "Then why did you bring it out of the closet? You got my hopes up." She looked at the dress longingly before she took it back to the closet. "So are any of the Avengers on that list? Because if they are…" she trailed off suggestively.

"Doesn't matter." Bella scrutinized a Loki dress. Loki wasn't in the movie, but he was a classic, and she did love the dress. "Like I said. We haven't had that conversation, so unfortunately, Sebastian is off limits."

"How long does it take to have that conversation? Do it in the car on the way up. Shouldn't take more than five minutes."

"Are you kidding? This is complicated stuff."

"A free bone policy doesn't sound so complicated, Bella."

"It is." Bella brightened. "Actually, Alice, bring the black dress back."

"Really?"

"Yeah. And the longish, red jacket." Bella started to kick off her shoes. "The rules of the famous five freebie are the most important part, at least if you're going to maintain your relationship. It's a very involved discussion."

"What the fuck rules could there possibly be?" Alice asked, handing her the black dress.

"You know. If the impossible happens, do you want to know? Under what circumstances can it happen. Like, maybe Edward could understand that if I have a shot at Sebby, I'm honorbound to take it, but he couldn't handle it if I went down on him."

"Ah, for the record, Edward would not understand you taking a shot at 'Sebby.'"

Bella whirled around. Edward was leaning against her door jamb, his arms crossed. "I swear it wasn't as devious as it sounded." She squinted at him. "How much did you hear?"

"Whoa. Let's pause that fight," he said, holding out a finger. He wasn't looking her in the eyes anymore. His eyes were traveling up and down her torso. "Christ, Bella."

She smirked and popped her hip maybe just a little. "What? You like it?"

Behind her, Alice snorted. "That's the entire point of the little black dress, Bella."

"Shhh." Bella smiled, looking at Edward though she was talking to Alice. He wrapped an arm around her waist, bringing her flush against him. "You're telling trade secrets. You're ruining the magic." She pressed up on her tiptoes to kiss him, squeaking a bit when he grabbed her ass.

"Chyeah. Ruined magic. Sure." Alice laughed. "I'll leave you two to your fight. I'll be in the living room. I'll fix your hair when he's done mussing it up."

Bella might have mumbled something in Alice's general direction. But by that point she'd wrapped her arms around Edward's neck, and opened her mouth to him. As Alice predicted, it took no time at all before his hands had made their way up her back and into her hair.

When Edward pulled away, they were both breathless. "I do have one question."

"Huh?" Bella blinked. She hadn't made it all the way back to coherency yet.

"Who the hell is Sebby?"

 _ **~0~**_

"You know a bunch of people are going to be dressed like the Scarlet Witch, right?" Edward took his eyes off the road briefly to look Bella over again. "Not that I'm complaining." He wrested his hand on her knee.

Bella scoffed. "When in Rome." She put her hands over his, twining their fingers together. "You're going to see the real Scarlet Witch tonight. I want to stand out."

"There's no contest, Bella." He looked over at her again, fixing her with a look. "I told you. I don't have a famous five list."

"And I told you, you're not fooling anyone. You're a nerd, Edward. There are celebrities you fetishize."

"Maybe as their characters."

"See, this might be one of the caveats of the famous five freebie." Bella wiggled in her seat until she was facing him. "Something like, it's only acceptable if they're acting like their character."

"That's a great rule. I'm okay with you fucking other people if and only if they're dressed up and acting like their character." Edward nodded, satisfied with that. "Good luck finding a celebrity in that condition."

"Did you mean Comic Con?"

Edward screwed up his nose. "Shit."

There was a silence between them. Edward felt her eyes on him, but he didn't look up from the road.

"You're not really bothered by all this, right? I mean, it's just a fun conversation." She paused. "Mostly."

He smiled because he knew she was teasing, and then sighed. "You know that thing people do when they know they're going to upset their girl and so they find something to be upset about instead?"

"Uh oh."

"It's not horrible. Well." He snorted. "Knowing you, maybe it is."

"Christ, Edward. Bad news is not the kind of thing that needs a build up. What is it?"

"I can't do the red carpet with you." It felt horrible to say the words out loud. He wanted to be there. For so many reasons, he wanted to be there.

A glance at her showed a picture he didn't want to see. Her face was pinched in disappointment. "Oh, Edward. No. Why?"

"It's not what I want," he said, running a hand through his hair before returning it to the steering wheel. He tried to smile at her. "Come. You think I don't want to be there with you? I'm not as loud as you are, but I'm just as big of a geek."

"Yeah, I know the truth. You'd fangirl hard over Robert Downey."

"Most men would turn for Robert Downey. The ones who say otherwise are lying." Edward reached over and touched her knee. "You know I want to be there, Bella. More than anything."

"But everyone there will be on social media." She didn't roll her eyes, but it was there in her voice.

He nodded. "And LAPD will be there. I've worked several premieres."

"Little birds," Bella muttered. She sighed. "But you'll be in the theater?"

"Of course."

She grunted, obviously not pleased but not too angry.

"I really am disappointed," he said. "I'd pay good money to see you flip out as badly as I know you're going to."

Her lips quirked. "Well, that won't be difficult. If you're not there, I'm going to be all over my social media feeds."

"Yeah…"

"Oh, what. You can't tell me to stay off them if you're not even going to be with me."

"I'm not saying anything," Edward said.

"You made a face."

He made a face again.

"See?" Bella pointed at him. "What is it now?"

"It's nothing. Well…" He shook his head, keeping his eyes focused on the road. "I like watching your videos. I really do. I just have a hard time not reading the comments."

"Oh. Oh, that's never a good idea under any circumstances. That's the first rule of the Internet. Thou shalt not read the comments."

"Doesn't it get to you? The things some of those guys say about what they want to do to you? The girls who say you deserve it because your dress is too short or your boobs are too big or what the fuck ever?"

Bella sighed. "Being a woman is hard, Edward. Being a woman online in a geek's world is harder. Of course I hate it. There are times I don't read my own comments because I'm not in a good enough place to handle that kind of bullshit." She shrugged. "Comes with the territory."

"I don't like the territory."

She arched an eyebrow. "Well, I don't like the whole social media ban of your territory."

"Not the same thing, Bella."

"Do you really want to go there? You play with guns for a living."

He wrinkled his nose. "Point to you."

"Don't worry, Edward," she said, reaching over to squeeze his hand.

"Can't help it. It's not like it's difficult to figure out where the premiere is. If any of those creeps—"

"Edward!"

He glanced at her.

"First of all, the trolls hide behind the anonymity of the internet. Secondly, you're the one who got me these tickets, you dweeb."

He gave a disgruntled huff. "Yeah, that was before I figured out I had to walk away from you."

She leaned over and kissed his cheek. "You're sweet, you know that." She tilted her head so her lips were against his ear. "Besides. I'll just get Thor to protect me."

He narrowed his eyes. "Is he on the Famous Five whatever list?"

"Wouldn't you like to know…"

 _ **~0~**_

Edward found a quiet place where he could watch the general hubbub and still hear the snippets of video Bella posted. Luckily—though unnerving for him—all her social media accounts were public. He could access them without having an account himself. He couldn't help his smile. She was flushed and adorable, her eyes bright with excitement. She'd posted a photo to instagram—a selfie with her back to the red carpet.

 _So not ready for this_ , it said.

And on Facebook, there was a long rambling post of Bella comparing seeing celebrities at conventions versus red carpets.

"Red carpets are so elegant," she wrote. "Conventions are grunt work. This is damn glamorous."

He could picture her bouncing on her feet with eagerness, and wished again he could be by her side. It would be nice to see her in her nerdy element.

Hell, it would be nice to bounce with her.

The red carpet finally began rolling. Bella was having a blast. She seemed to know every fucking person who walked down the carpet and wooed most of them over to where she was standing.

"There's a Backstreet Boy in the house," she posted with a picture of AJ McLean. "Because nothing says Marvel like a boyband?"

"Nathan Fillion remembers me!" she posted with a picture of her and the actor making wide-mouthed faces at the camera as they clung to each other. "Shiny, captain."

Then another picture as the cast began to arrive. This one was of her posing, looking down at her breasts while Emily VanCamp—Agent 13—mingled with guests on the other side of the carpet. "Do you think I could pull of a dress like hers? I don't think I have the boobs for it."

Edward decided he would definitely stay away from the comment section of that picture.

"Paul Rudd is sporting the manliest of man beards." In the picture, she stroked her imaginary beard while Paul Rudd stroked his truly impressive facial hair. He shouldn't have been surprised when the next picture was of _her_ stroking his beard.

"How did you get him to smile like that?" one of her followers asked at a picture of Don Cheadle beaming at Bella.

"I told him I loved him in _Crash_. Duh."

Suddenly, a link to to a live feed popped up. Edward quirked an eyebrow as he clicked on it.

"Hey, guys," Bella said. Her face was tinged pink with permanent delight and she was grinning from ear to ear. "I made a friend. Say hello."

Whomever was holding the camera turned it around and waved. "Hello, friends!"

She turned it back to Bella. "She wants to be my photographer for the evening so we can catch a few minutes of video." Bella looked off. "Oh, just in time, too. Look. Look, it's Captain America." She waved enthusiastically at Chris Evans who was standing nearby, signing autographs. "Can we get a wave for the people at home, Cap?"

Chris Evans looked bemused as he spotted Bella and the camera. "Who are we talking to?"

"You have your people. I have mine," Bella said coyly.

"Fair enough." Chris Evans quirked an eyebrow, handed a grinning kid back his autograph book, and tilted his head for Bella's camera. He gave a signature Captain America salute. "Hello, people at home."

"That was awesome," Bella said with a squeak as Chris Evans headed down the line.

The feed cut off only to come back on a few minutes later. Bella was leaning over the barrier, waving a hand. "Sebastian. It's Sebastian Stan, guys. James Buchanan, "Bucky" Barnes. Soul mate to Steve Rogers, and you can fucking fight me on that one. Sebastian! You're the one I'm here for. I don't care about anyone else."

Sebastian wandered over to her. "Me?" he asked pointing at himself. "Captain America and Iron Man are over there."

"Eh. I'll trade all of the Avengers for a minute with the Winter Soldier. Can I get a picture? Please?"

"How could I say no to that?" Sebastian Stan asked, taking her cell phone from her and holding it aloft in selfie pose. "1-2-3."

"Team Stucky!" Bella said, flashing a thumbs up for the picture.

As he disentangled himself from Bella, Sebastian Stan was laughing.

"Hey, one question," Bella said to him. "Do you know what the famous five freebie is?" She winked at the camera.

Edward burst out laughing. The minx. She was teasing him even though they weren't even close to each other.

Luckily for Edward's jealous streak, Sebastian Stan looked perplexed. "The what?"

Bella waved a hand. "Nothing. Thanks, Sebby! You're made of awesome."

As soon as he'd turned away, Bella looked back at the camera and made a 'yikes' face. "Holy crow. I just called Sebastian Stan Sebby. Ack. I am ten kinds of lame."

The camera shook as the woman holding it laughed. The feed cut off again.

Edward frowned, checking her various social media platforms to see where she'd gone. Five minutes passed. Then ten.

Just when he was beginning to let his paranoia get the better of him, Bella reappeared not on screen but in front of him. He jumped. "Jesus, Bella." But he'd hardly gotten the words out before she leapt at him, her arms wrapped around his neck.

"This is the best thing ever," she said and then peppered his face with kisses. "Thank you, thank you, thank you for this."

He laughed, bringing his arms around her. "So do you and Sebby have a date afterwards, or…"

She blushed and tickled his belly, grinning in triumph when he recoiled away from her. "Come on. Let's go in."

They found their seats in the theater, and Bella regaled him with tales from the red carpet—whom she had seen and what they had been like and which fans had stepped out of line.

But when the stars entered the theater, Edward's eyes were riveted on the stage. They were close. Unexpectedly close. Robert Downey Jr. was talking.

"Don't drool," Bella whispered in his ear, snapping him out of whatever trance he'd gone into.

When he turned to her, her eyes were dancing. "You're cute when you're star struck, you know that?"

"I'm not… I was just listening."

She put a hand to his chest where his heart was pounding fast. Her grin turned gleeful. "Fanboy," she accused.

He tucked her under his arm. "You sassed Captain America today, dear. Shush."

"Team Cap," she whispered.

"Team Iron Man," he whispered back.

"Oh, you're so going down."

He turned to her and grinned. "That is the plan. Later." He winked.

She whimpered.

 _ **~0~**_

The whole way back to his place, they chattered about the movie. Much better than Age of Ultron, they both agreed, but that wasn't difficult. Spidey and Ant Man were great.

"But if you don't see the epicness that is Steve and Bucky's love story…" Bella started.

She was still debating hotly with him when they got in the door.

And as he pulled her down the hallway.

He picked her up and settled her in the middle of his bed. She was still arguing. "The look, Edward. You saw the look Bucky gave him when he was in the helicopter. Steve literally couldn't let go of him. I mean, all you have to do to distract Captain fucking America is mention Bucky's name. Come. On."

She didn't seem to notice he was taking off her boots, pulling her stockings down and off. "They're friends, Bella. Best friends. They've been through a lot together. That's all." He pushed her gently backward.

"Friends?! Friends?! I...I… Oh. Oh!"

He'd pushed her legs apart and licked his way along her slit.

"I...oh, fuck. What are you…what are you doing?"

He raised his head. "I think that should be fairly obvious." He pushed her dress further up her torso and grinned at her. "I did tell you earlier I was going down."

"Down like Team Iron man tag-teamed by Stucky," she said, still playfully combative.

He smirked and lowered his head. She couldn't win an argument if she was too busy screaming his name.

* * *

 **A/N: Who's on your famous five freebie list?**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Phew. Sorry for the delay. I had to remember how to be funny. Whhhaaaat? I thrive on angst.**

* * *

 _ **~Three months later~**_

Bella adjusted the camera one more time before she started recording.

"Okay, kiddos, since I've finally, officially run out of things to say about Comic Con, yes, I will indulge your curiosity. A lot of you want to know how things are going with my boyfriend, so sure. Let's spend an episode talking about my favorite subject."

Bella put her hands on her hips. "As you know, the Bae is notoriously camera shy. So, I use a stand in for him on camera. Today, the part of my handsome and typically adorable boyfriend will be played by…" She reached into her pocket and set an action figure on her railing. That done, she leaned next to him, her arms crossed. "Kylo Ren, Emo tantrum thrower extraordinaire. Yeah. As the British would say, we had a row, me and Kylo.

"It started innocently enough. We were talking about Star Trek and maybe I happened to mention that I can't stand any Trek except the new one." Bella waved her hand in a dismissive gesture. "And what does Kylo do? He tells me I can't call myself a true fan unless I've seen some of the old stuff."

She nodded at the camera. "I know, right?" She wagged a finger in Kylo's face. "You did not pull that elitist fan move on me. As though my love is less because I thought the original movies were boring as hell."

Sighing, she looked back to the camera. "It got ugly. We both said some things we didn't mean. Kylo may or may not have denied the passionate love Kirk and Spock have for each other. I mean, come on, man. The Kirk/Spock ship is the original slash ship. It's not my fault Quinto and Pine are way better at it than Shatner and Nimoy. So."

She picked up Kylo and reached out to adjust the camera so it panned down to show Jake in his doghouse. She set Kylo inside with a defiant thunk. "It's no surprise you ended up here, Kylo. You think about what you've done."

Jake, who had been staring at the toy, reached out and knocked it over with one smack of his paw. Then, he bit it.

Bella giggled. "Gee, Jake, tell us how you really feel." She rescued Kylo from her dog who whined as she took the toy away. "Sorry, kiddo. I might be mad at him, but I want his pieces intact."

Another couple of hours later, the video was edited and ready. She had just posted when her phone rang. She frowned at the number—unknown to her—and debated answering.

"Hello?" she said, deciding a little diversion never hurt anyone.

"Hello, is this Bella Swan?" a tight, female voice said on the other end of the line.

Bella furrowed her brow. Something about that voice unsettled her. "Yes."

"I'm Tanya Ivanova—Edward's partner."

Bella's heart began to pound. Something was wrong. She already knew. "Yes?"

"Edward's been stabbed."

 _ **~0~**_

For once, it only took half an hour to get to L.A. To Tanya's credit, Bella's phone chimed twice in that time. There wasn't much to update—he was in surgery—but it was a small relief to know he was alive.

Finally, Bella got to the hospital. Tanya met her in the lobby. "I haven't heard anything else," she said before Bella could speak. "Come this way."

As she lead the way to the waiting room, she smiled at Bella. "You're the first one to arrive."

Bella furrowed her brow. "Out of who?"

"His parents and brother, of course."

"Oh." Bella ran a hand through her hair. "That's, uh. That's…" Her mind was pulled in several directions at once, and she didn't know how to process that information. Not when Edward's life was in the balance.

"Tanya?"

A frantic voice and quick footfalls had them both looking up. Bella stood again.

A woman of about fifty came rushing at Tanya with a blond-haired man at her heels. The woman gripped Tanya by the shoulders. "Tell me—"

Tanya raised her hands. "Take a breath, Esme. Carlisle. Okay? We haven't heard anything else, but I have something to tell all of you."

"We?" Esme looked confused. She looked around and spotted Bella.

Bella opened her mouth. "Meep," she squeaked.

 _Meep_?

"Oh. Oh." Esme let go of Tanya and rushed at Bella.

"Meep!" Bella jumped back, a little startled.

Esme smiled as she hugged Bella tightly to her. "You must be Bella."

"I...yes?" It wasn't, of course, that Bella was uncertain. It was just that she had imagined this moment, had been nervous about it for a while now, and she couldn't tell if this was worse or better than her nightmare about forgetting her pants.

Well, she supposed that depended if Edward survived or not.

The blond man, Carlisle, came to stand behind Esme, his hands on her shoulders, his worried eyes soft as he offered Bella a smile. "I'm Carlisle, and this is Esme. We're Edward's parents."

That allowed Bella to get a grip. For all his parents cared right now, Bella could have been the most obnoxious person on the planet, and she doubted they'd notice. Not when their son was in danger. "I'm Bella." She came forward and hugged Esme, then Carlisle. They both embraced her.

"The family of Edward Cullen?" They all looked up as the doctor came toward them.

 _ **~0~**_

Edward was going to live.

More than that, the doctor had said his wounds were minor. Oh, it had required some patching up, but the damage wasn't life threatening in the slightest. He'd be out of commision recovering from blood loss for a week or two, and then, it would likely take some physical therapy to get his arm back in working order.

Bella was ecstatic, of course, that Edward was okay, and he'd be up to receiving guests soon. It was just that, now that she was sure he'd make a full recovery, she had other things on her mind.

Like why Esme Cullen kept staring at her.

Right after the doctor informed them Edward wasn't in mortal peril and left, Carlisle and Esme had been beset with paperwork. Tanya had excused herself—probably to do different paperwork—and that had left Bella consulting Dr. Google to look up half the terms the doctor had used. Since then, though, she'd noticed Esme kept sneaking glances at her. They weren't curious glances either. They were squinty-eyed glances.

What was worse? Figuring out why Edward's mother was glaring at her or returning to freaking herself out by reading about complications the actual doctor had already assured them Edward didn't have?

Carlisle got up and stretched. "I'm going to get us some coffee," he told Esme. He crossed the room and offered Bella a smile. "Can I get you something?"

"Um." Bella motioned him down. As courteous as Edward said he was, Carlisle stooped closer so she could speak quietly in his ear. "Can you maybe tell me if your wife is going to murder me when you leave the room?"

Carlisle blinked and Bella flushed. "Ah, sorry. I didn't mean to say it like that." She meant to ask if something was wrong—well, other than the obvious—like a normal person.

But Carlisle was already laughing. He glanced at his wife and back to Bella. "She does look like she has questions, but don't worry. We're in a hospital. If she attacks, there's help close at hand." The evil man smiled sweetly. "Can I get you a coffee?"

"I… Yeah. Coffee." In lieu of whiskey, that would work.

"Cream? Sugar?"

"I like those hazelnut creamers, but that's kind of a pain in the ass to ask for." Bella brightened. "You know what? Let me go with you."

"No, stay."

Bella jumped when someone put their hand on her shoulder. She jumped again when she saw Esme had sat down in the seat beside her. Esme smiled—a gentle smile that may or may not have hidden her more violent nature. "We should get to know each other," Esme said.

"It's okay. I can handle three coffees and hazelnut creamer," Carlisle said. "I'll be right back."

Bella followed him with her eyes, biting her tongue before she begged him to come back or take her with him.

"So," Esme said, still smiling gently. "You think my son is emo and whiny."

Whatever Bella had been expecting, it wasn't that. "What?" Her voice squeaked on the word.

"Kylo Ren. You called him Kylo Ren just this morning."

It took five whole seconds for Bella's brain to process that. All the while she gaped like a fish. She knew she probably looked like she was having a stroke, but she didn't have the brain capacity to do anything about that right then. Not when she was trying to process what Esme had said.

Bella gasped and pointed at her. "You follow me!"

"You _are_ Bella of _My So Called Nerdy Life_!"

"Oh. Oh. Oh, man." Bella put her hands over her face and groaned. "Oh, man."

"Edward said you worked with something online, but he never told us what. It's him you've been talking about all this time?"

Bella knew she had to be scarlet red by now; her face was so hot. She peeked out from between her fingers. Esme didn't look pleased, and Bella scrambled to remember just how many times she'd been disparaging about Edward. "He broke the first rule of fangirling. Boying. Whatever. Thou shalt not disparage another fan for fan-ing in their own way." She hurried to continue. "But he's not always Kylo Ren. Only when he's emo. I mean!" She smacked her forehead.

"Who's emo?" said another voice.

Bella looked up...and up, at the stranger who'd joined them—a bear of a man with adorably curly hair.

"Bella thinks Edward is emo."

The man laughed. "Edward _is_ emo, Mom. Does that mean he's awake?"

Finally, Esme looked away from Bella. She stood and embraced the bear-man. "I'm glad you could be here, Emmett."

"I'm sorry I didn't get here sooner." Emmett hugged his mother so tightly, he lifted her right off the ground.

"Wait. You're Emmett?" Bella said, standing too. She balked. "Jesus Christ. _You're_ the one Edward beat up when you were kids?"

She slapped her hand over her mouth again. What the hell was wrong with her?

Emmett set his mother down and grinned. "Oh, please tell me you're Bella."

"That's me," Bella said warily, wondering why Emmett looked so gleeful at that.

"Awesome. You're the chick who has Serious Sally all twitterpated these days." He chortled. "Yeah, he beat me up once upon a time. In my defense, though, the kid is obnoxiously fast." He made a face. "Though, not fast enough to keep from getting stabbed, huh?"

"Emmett," Esme protested.

"Hey, I'm not saying it's his fault." Emmett sat down in the center of a set of three chairs and motioned that both women should join him. "So. Edward is emo. Water is wet. What's going on?"

Esme crossed her arms. "It seems Bella is a vlogger."

"You and your vlogs." Emmett put his arm around his mother and squeezed. Then, he turned to Bella. "Wait, so, you're one of the vloggers mom follows?" His eyes went wide, and he brightened. "You're not the hella nerdy one, are you?" Without waiting for Bella to say anything, he looked back to his mother. "She's the chick who dressed up as season 1 Daenerys from Game of Thrones for Halloween?" Back to Bella. "Like, blood all over your face and a half-eaten heart in your hands?"

"It wasn't real," Bella said.

His grin widened. "Well, I know that."

"These last few months, I've been so intrigued because she's had this boyfriend she won't name or show on camera," Esme said. She frowned. "That's what I was doing right before we got the call. I was watching her latest update. She was using a Kylo Ren figurine to stand in for Edward."

Bella grimaced, but when Emmett turned to her, he was nodding. "Accurate."

"Emmett!"

"I mean, if you've seen my other videos, he's usually someone like Captain America or Dean Winchester," Bella said. "I used Thor that one time, but that went straight to his, ah, ego." She shook her head, figuring she was digging herself a deeper hole. "Look, it was a joke. It's a nerd vlog. Edward isn't anything like Kylo Ren. He's not going to kill his father, for one thing."

Emmett bent over at the waist, he was laughing so hard. Esme looked annoyed, but after a moment, her smile broke.

"I'm sorry," Esme said when Emmett had finally gotten a hold of himself. She looked to Bella and smiled more genuinely. "I overreacted. I just want to see with my own eyes that my son is safe."

"That's what I want too," Bella said.

Esme reached across Emmett's lap to take Bella's hand. She clasped it tightly.

"Aw." Emmett tilted his head first against his mother's, then Bella's. "We're bonding."

 _ **~0~**_

When Edward woke up, Bella, of course, let his family be with him first. She didn't try to crowd them, instead waiting in the same place they'd been for hours now.

She was going through her vlogs, trying to view them with the eye of her boyfriend's mother for the first time. Edward had neglected to mention that his mother watched any vlogs, let alone hers. He'd be in trouble if he wasn't already in the hospital with multiple stab wounds.

After a time, the Cullen family emerged.

"We're going to dinner, and we wondered if you'd do us the favor of keeping him company," Carlisle said.

"Pfft, tell it like it is, Dad," Emmett said. "He was only awake for like ten minutes, and he spent six of those asking for you."

Bella's heart warmed at the thought, and she ducked her head, shy. Emse reached over and squeezed her hand. "I promised you'd be there when he woke up."

"Thank you." Bella hugged each of them before she finally headed for Edward's room.

She wasn't aware of just how much she'd been keeping at bay until she was sitting by his side. His face was peaceful in sleep. Much paler than she was used to, but peaceful. His hair was disheveled. If not for the sounds of the hospital, when Bella leaned down and rested her head on the pillow beside him, she could have believed this was any other day, and she was just watching him sleep.

Bella pressed her lips tightly together, trying to keep the sudden wave of emotion from overcoming her. She ran shaking fingers through his hair, and lost her battle against her tears. She ducked her head, crying onto his chest as she listened to the steady beat of his heart.

"Hey," came a raspy whisper.

Bella raised her head with a gasp. "Edward?"

He blinked at her, eyes hooded with sleep and fuzzy with whatever drugs they had him on. He smiled—barely a tug at the corners of his mouth. "Hey, beautiful." He raised his hand. His touch was feeble on her cheek. "Don't cry."

That, to her horror, only made her cry harder. She pressed her knuckles against her mouth. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I was just so scared. It's crazy. What you do is crazy, you know that?"

"Bella." He put his hand on hers, and she let him work her fingers loose of the fist she had them in. "I'm okay. I promise."

She grunted, wiping at her eyes with her free hand. "I don't know about that. You let your mother ambush me."

He raised a questioning eyebrow.

"You didn't tell me she watched my vlog." She wagged a finger at him.

He huffed and then winced, closing his eyes. "Does she watch your vlog? I tend to tune her out when she starts talking about social media."

"What? You? Certainly not. That's out of character." Bella smoothed his hair back, smiling because he looked so sweet when he drifted to sleep. "Edward?"

"Hmm?"

She leaned down and pressed a long kiss to his temple. "I love you."

"I know," he murmured, and his head lolled.

Bella burst out laughing. She rested her head on his chest again. "Damn bastard Han Solo'ed me.

* * *

 **A/N: Thanks again for your patience. And thanks to MoH, Songster, Mina, Packy, and eleanor for everything they do for me.**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Hello, fellows! Time flies. Thanks for your patience!**

* * *

Edward wasn't in a good mood. He was in bed. Resting. Again.

Rationally, he knew he was getting better. He kept up his exercise to keep in shape, and to make his arm stronger. There was no denying he still tired too easily. He was weaker than he wanted to be, and he wasn't handling it with grace. Bella had told him more than once that he looked like Leah. His cat perched on his nightstand, making the same dour face as he was, according to her.

The one bright spot in his otherwise frustrating life was Bella. She'd moved in for the duration to help him. He'd tried to tell his parents and Bella that he wasn't so helpless, but apparently, mother and girlfriend overrode what he wanted any day of the week.

As usual, they were right. Having Bella at home with him was a godsend. He'd thought he wouldn't want her to see him so weak, but as it turned out, that part wasn't so bad, especially when it meant she was there with him. He liked waking up with Bella in his bed and going to sleep with her in his arms. She did cheer him up.

Most of the time.

Today, he was in a foul mood. He wasn't talking so much as grunting as he sat on his bed, pretending to watch TV. Bella was next to him. He knew damn well she was only trying to help, but she wanted him to talk. The problem was, if he talked, he knew something belligerent was going to come out of his mouth.

He jumped a little when Bella put her arm around his shoulders and snuggled up to him. She held her phone aloft, and he could see the both of them on the screen. "Stick your tongue out," she said.

"What are you doing?" Edward pulled away, and winced at the tug on his tender innards. "What is that? Bella, what the hell?"

She frowned at him. "It's just Snapchat. Will you chill out?"

"Are you going to tell me Snapchat isn't social media?" He crossed his arms as he looked at her.

"Of course it's social media. But the whole point of Snapchat is the pictures disappear as soon as the person you send it to views it. Like Mission Impossible. This message will self-destruct."

"And who are you sending it to?"

"Your mother, ass. Jesus." She stood up, and looked at him with a hurt expression he hated. "Who the hell do you think I am?" She strode out of his bedroom muttering to herself.

Edward banged his head back against the wall, cursing under his breath. He considered going after Bella to apologize. He knew he should. Instead, he crossed his arms tighter over his chest, hunched his shoulders, and grunted.

Twenty minutes later, Bella peered in again. She'd put her hair up in a long braid that started high at the crown of her head. She didn't say anything. Neither did he. She came in and sat down on the bed, crossing her arms over her chest. She peered at him, then mirrored his hunkered down position, jutting her lower lip out as she did.

In spite of himself, his lips twitched. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw her smirk. She couldn't be too mad at him then.

Sure enough, after another minute, she pointed to her cheek. "Kiss it," she said.

He huffed, amused, and pressed a soft kiss to her cheek.

She turned her head and pointed to the other cheek. "Kiss it."

He did.

She angled her body so her butt was twisted toward him. She pointed. "Spank it."

He chuckled, and gave her ass a hearty smack. Then, his fingers to her chin, he tilted her head up for a proper kiss. "I'm sorry." He kissed her again. "I love you."

"I know." She kissed the tip of his nose and settled down beside him. "Now, can I take a picture of us to show your mother that you're in excellent health and spirits?"

He rolled his eyes, but let Bella take a picture of them with some program that turned their noses into dog noses and, when he stuck out his tongue, made it look like a lolling dog's tongue came out.

After a few more quiet minutes, Bella giggled. She leaned over, resting her head on his chest. "Is that a worm in your pants, or are you happy to see me?"

She held the phone up, positioning it carefully. This time he straight out snorted. She was playing Pokémon Go and had positioned a Diglett—a worm-looking thing that popped out of the ground—so it looked like it was popping out of his crotch.

"It looks so angry," he said, and then glanced at her. "My Diglett is never that angry to see you."

Now it was Bella's turn to snort. "Don't call it a Diglett. I'll never be able to take it seriously if you do that."

"It's a bad idea not to take a man's cock seriously. They're sensitive creatures."

As he spoke, Bella's hand had come to rest on his belly. Her fingers stroked along the hem of his shirt. It was distracting, and titillating as hell.

"So, um. What are we supposed to call it?" He licked his lips, watching her fingers dance lower. "You know. To ensure you give it the seriousness it deserves."

Bella got to her knees. She traced the outline of his semi though the lounge pants he wore, and looked up at him from under her eyelashes. "Shall I ask it?" Her tone was innocent and evil all at once.

"I mean, it seems like the easiest way to get the answer you want."

"Hmmm." Bella leaned down so her head was resting on his crotch, her ear pressed approximately against the head of his cock. Edward twirled a tendril of hair around and around his finger, waiting.

"Nope." Bella lifted her head. "He's being quiet." She leaned in close to him. "I think he's shy."

Edward made a face, mildly offended. "Shy? Baby—"

She put a finger to his lips and cocked her head. "I said, I think he's shy."

A thrill went down Edward's spine. Okay. She wanted to play. "Ah, well. What do you think we should do about that?"

"I have a few ideas."

She got up off the bed then, and stood. If he wasn't mistaken, she seemed nervous, and a second later, he realized why. Her hands went to the shirt she wore—his button down, navy blue to be precise, and she started to unbutton it.

It was then that Edward noticed Bella was wearing baggy sweat pants along with the button down that was one size too large for _him._ It was early August. That was way too many clothes.

But as she swayed her hips and unbuttoned, stopping only to push the sweatpants down and kick them off, Edward suddenly understood. He gasped and shut his eyes tightly.

"Edward," she said in a tempting, sing-song voice.

"No. I can't look. It's too degrading."

"And grossly misogynistic. I would never cosplay in this get up. It shouldn't exist." He felt the bed dip and then her hand on his shoulder. "But it does exist, and it's not degrading to me when I'm the one giving this to you. Willingly." Her lips were near his ear now. "Tell me you didn't fantasize about this when you were a teenager."

He whimpered and then groaned. Damn if even the thought of what she was wearing wasn't making him hard.

She straddled him, and put something in his hands. "Open your eyes, Edward."

He did, and for the love of all that was holy, she was glorious. She was in full Slave girl Princess Leia getup, golden bikini and all. Including the chain around her neck—the one whose links were in his hand. He groaned again. "Oh, this is at least twelve kinds of wrong."

But even as he said it, he was winding the chain around his hand, bringing her down to him for a rough kiss. His breath was already ragged.

Of course it had been a fantasy of his. One that he'd tried not to enjoy once his views about misogyny in film grew more defined when he was in college. But damn. Holy hell.

He'd make it up to her, he vowed to himself. He'd spend days peeling her grapes and worshiping her feet.

And then, he sat back and let himself enjoy.

"Relax," Bella said, pushing him down when he tried to sit up. "Let me do all the work." She was already sliding over him, grinding her hips over his erection.

Edward licked his lips. It wasn't a bad idea. He tired so easily, and this had his blood pumping hard already. So he busied his hands running up and down the length of her body, over the gold bikini—why was it such a thrill to touch the light metal exterior? Her bare breasts were so much nicer than this, weren't they?

Fucking costumes. Why was this so hot?

Edward stopped questioning when Bella freed his cock from the confines of his pants. He put his hands on her hips, gasping at the slickness as her heat slid over his cock. Before he realized what he was doing, he took hold of the chain again.

"You want me?" she teased, fighting his pull just a little bit.

"I want you." He gave a little tug. If he'd been up to full strength, he'd have flipped her onto her back and taken her hard and fast and oh, so deep.

She put her hand on his chest and pushed him down again. "Let me do the work," she admonished. "You lie there and look pretty."

He laughed and gave her chain another light tug. "I'm thinking you don't understand how this slave girl thing works."

"Ah, well. Maybe when you're not so decrepit you can do something about it." She winked at him and started singing Justin Timberlake's Sexy Back. "See these shackles, baby, I'm your slave. I'll let you whip me if I misbehave."

His cock jumped. "Bella," he groaned.

"You want me to put you out of your misery?" She slid over him again.

"God, please. I need you."

She reached between them and took a firm hold of his cock. "I think I'm going to call you Mace."

"What?"

"Because you have a purple lightsaber." She gave his cock a gentle squeeze. "And I know just how to handle it."

With that, she sunk down on him. Edward gave a small cry as she took him deep, and started to ride him. She was so much better than anything he'd imagined when he was younger—his own fantasy.

She owned him, this woman, no matter what she wore.

When they were both spent, she collapsed on him. He grunted.

"Did I break you?" she asked, trying to slide off him.

He held her tighter to him. "Worth it."

She scoffed. "Yeah, I'm sure you'll be thanking me if you have to stay in bed another week."

"Well, if you do _that_ again, it might not be so bad."

Bella lifted her head and gave him a quick peck. "Horndog."

He reached around and released the clasp on the neck restraint, letting that chain fall away. "Whatever you say, princess."

Her eyes strayed to his nightstand, and she laughed. "Look. Your cat is judging us."

Edward tilted his head backward. Sure enough, Leah looked downright disgusted as she watched them.

"You're a creepy voyeur, Taupe," Bella informed her.

Edward chuckled, and reached up to stroke his fingers along her face. This crazy, beautiful, amazing woman. "Bella?"

"Hmm?" She was busy wiggling her fingers in front of Leah's unimpressed face.

"Move in with me."

Bella gasped and stared at him, wide-eyed. She started to sputter.

"It's okay." His voice was calmer than he felt. "If you want to say no, I'd understand."

"I'm not saying no," Bella said, settling into the crook of his good arm. She splayed her hand wide over his chest, and he closed his eyes, enjoying her touch. "It's just that we only said I love you a few days ago."

He chuckled and winced as he raised his injured arm to stroke her cheek. "I've known I've loved you since that first day, Bella." He laughed at himself. "If you want to know the truth, I think I fell in love with the crazy, word-vomiting woman with no sense of personal space before I even knew her name."

"Hey." Bella poked him gently in the ribs, but she was grinning. "I have a sense of personal space, just not at ass-thirty in the morning." She rolled over and draped an arm over his torso. "And maybe not when there's a hot cop with nerd-tastic tattoos behind me."

Edward drew his fingers up and down the ridge of her spine. "All I got from that is I have to be sure you never run into a cop with tattoos before you've had your coffee."

"Ha, I wouldn't worry if I was you." She kissed his chin.

"No?"

"No." She kissed him sweetly on his lips. "Turns out hot, nerdy, tattooed cops are surly as hell. One of them is about all I can handle."

"We're only surly when we're forced on medical leave."

"Sure. Excuses. I guess I can see how some asshole poking holes in you with a big knife would make anyone pissy." Her tone was teasing, but Edward could see the real worry in her eyes.

He brushed her hair back and cupped her cheek. What he wanted to do was reassure her. He was going to be fine no matter what the world threw at him. Instead, looking in her eyes, he told the truth. "You know what the upside is about being poked full of holes? When you're bleeding out on the asphalt, and you don't know if you're going to live or die, it makes you think about what's important. Not the endless questions of what could be or what should be, but what is.

"I love you, Isabella Swan. I know this is only the fifth time you've heard those words from me. And I know we've only known each other a few months. On paper, it sounds irrational, but I want you here with me. I want to wake up to you and come home to you, and I'm not sorry I think so. I'm only sorry it took me thinking I might die in order to tell you what's been in my heart since that very first weekend."

Her eyes were shining. "Oh God. I don't want to think about you bleeding out on the pavement. Are you trying to guilt me?"

"No." Edward paused a beat. "Although, if it works—"

She kissed him quiet. "You don't need to convince me, idjit." She started to pepper delighted kisses all over his face.

He chuckled. "Is that a yes?"

"Yes. Oh my God. Are we doing this? Move to LA? Oh, man." Bella flopped over on her side of the bed. "I don't think you've thought about this."

Edward rolled over—carefully—so he was hovering over her now. "I just told you I haven't thought about anything but this."

Her eyes were shining, her grin wide and happy as she looked up at him, tracing a fingertip along the line of his chin. "So, you've thought about the fact asking me to move in means you're also asking Jake to move in?"

Edward wrinkled his nose. As though she knew what they were talking about, Leah made a discontented noise and twitched her tail. Bella laughed and reached over to scratch her behind the ears. Leah cringed away from her hand. "We know what Taupe thinks about that."

"Her name isn't—" Edward rolled his eyes. He shook his head and kissed her. "You're so annoying," he said, meaning anything but.

She grinned at him. "So I should stay at my place, then?"

"No." He kissed her again. "But before you move into my place, I have one caveat."

Her smile fell. "If this is about Jake, I—"

"Don't be silly. I know you and the mongrel are a package deal. Although, if he tries to eat my cat, I can't be held responsible for what she does to him. Her claws are lethal."

"Okay. So if that's not the caveat?"

"The week before you move in" —he knew he grinned like an asshole when he said those words; he was so damn satisfied—"we need to go to Home Depot."

Her nose crinkled in confusion. "What? Why?"

"Because we're picking out new paint for the house. Every. Goddamn. Room."

The smile was back. "You want me to paint your house?"

"I want you to choose paint for our house. Our paint."

"We have paint." She sounded mystified.

"This is serious business." He lowered himself down on her. He kissed her soft and slow. "I'm serious about you."

Her eyes sparkled, but she made a show of studying him. "Are you sure you're not high on drugs?"

He smirked. "I'll ask you again when I'm sober."

* * *

 **A/N: Hmmm. Think he'll reconsider when he's sober?**

 **Thank you to Betsy, Eleanor, MoH, Mina, Jess, and Packy for all their flailing.**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Hey, peoples. TGIF. Freegin week from hell, man.**

* * *

Apparently, saying yes to moving in with one Cullen meant all the rest of them invaded her place. Bella wasn't quite sure how it had happened. She was minding her own business, putting together her latest vlog while she Skyped with Esme, and suddenly found she'd inadvertently agreed to host a get together. She'd been distracted, murmuring vaguely agreeable words when all her concentration was focused on trying to get a stubborn graphic right.

"Great. We'll bring pizza and make a day of it," Esme said.

That caught Bella's attention. "Wait. What?"

"Combining two households is more complicated than it looks." Esme sounded distracted herself, though likely in planning mode. "You and Edward couldn't be more different in your tastes. What are we going to do with all your memorabilia?"

"Ah…" Bella stumbled, struggling to catch up. "He said he'd clear out a shelf."

"Oh, sweetheart You know as well as I do your collection can't be contained by a shelf." Esme chuckled. "It would be such a shame to hide away your bigger pieces. Either way, we have to do a careful inventory and see what our options are."

And she couldn't bitch about her quasi in-laws to her followers because her boyfriend's mother was one of them. Gah. This being in a relationship thing was complicated.

Afterward, when she told Edward about it, he had a good laugh. "She means well, my mother, but she can be a whirlwind. Don't let her bully you into doing things her way."

"Well, it's your house. I'm not going to let her bully me about your house."

He'd been on the couch, going through his hand exercises, but he stopped when she said that. " _My_ house?"

She made a face. "I didn't want to presume. Seems rude to march in here and demand you change everything."

He reached for her hand and pulled her forward. Bella straddled him, careful to keep most of her weight off him. It was more habit than anything. He was going back to work the next Monday, and she was trying to pretend she wasn't worried about it.

"Bella." He kissed her chin. "I literally asked you to come in here and demand I change everything."

"Ah, no. You asked me to move in, not take over your place." She frowned. "We do have such different tastes."

"Oh, my God. I can practically hear my mother's voice when you say that." He arched an eyebrow. "She _did_ say that, didn't she? Bella, you know better than to let a mother's voice get in your head. They mean well, but they meddle. They teach them how to do it in those pregnancy classes, I swear. I'm a cop. I know things."

Bella smirked and kissed him. Inwardly, though, she couldn't help but think Esme was right. Sure, Edward's place was practically a blank slate. There was some leeway there, most likely, but her place was damn near cluttered with all things geeky. Was there really such a thing as a middle ground with such extremes in taste?

"Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton lived in two separate houses, you know," she blurted.

He tilted his head. "What?"

Bella huffed. She hadn't meant to start this, but she knew she was in for it now. "I'm just saying. They had two very different tastes. They lived in separate houses and had a very cool relationship."

His hands tightened at her waist. "First of all, they had two _connected_ houses. They were never married, and they're not together now."

 _Whoops._ "Okay, celebrity gossip. The point is, it's not like it can't work, you know? They were together for a long time. Raised kids. All that good jazz. They didn't break up because they lived in separate houses."

"How do you know? Were you there?"

Bella wrinkled her nose. "I'm a vlogger. I know these things." She smacked him lightly on the chest. "Anyway, that's not the point."

The easy smile fell from his face, and she noticed for the first time that the look in his eyes was guarded. "The point is, you're reconsidering this whole moving in thing."

"No! Gah. No." Bella stumbled and stuttered another few seconds before she blew out a puff of air. "Look, I'm nervous, okay? I want to do this. It's kind of scary how much I _really_ want to do this. It's just a little crazy. I've never done this before—never done anything like this. It's a lot."

His fingers tickled as he walked them up and down her sides. "But you do want to do it?"

"Move to L.A.? Land of perpetual traffic and smog?"

"And celebrities, and endless amounts of geeky things to do."

She took his face in his hands. "And you?" She kissed him. "Yes. I still want to do it."

"Good." He pecked her lips and then stood, his hands on her hips to steady her so she wouldn't fall as he did. "Then I can give you your moving in gift."

Bella's eyebrows raised in surprised. "Wait. What?" She followed after him. "Is that a thing? Do I have to give you one? I'm not going to lie, Edward, I was kind of glad we weren't that serious when it was your birthday, and we still have a few months until Christmas."

He chuckled, stopping at his closet and taking something from behind a stack of scarves on his shelf.

"Holy shit." Bella laughed. "Edward. You're supposed to have your collectables on display." She cocked her head. "I thought you weren't into Harry Potter."

The item he'd taken out was a slightly over-sized version of the Golden Snitch. It was all set to be displayed proudly on a shelf with its own stand and everything.

"I'm not into Harry Potter," Edward said. Then he got down on one knee.

"Oh, fuck me," Bella said, her heart skipping a beat.

Edward smirked. "In a minute. I have something to ask you first."

Bella held her breath.

"Bella Swan. Now that I haven't had a pain pill in days, I have a question for you." They both took a deep breath. "Will you move in with me?"

"Oh my God." Bella giggled as she bent at the waist. "Are you planning on proposing to me for every milestone we hit?"

"If it's going to make you make that panicked expression? Yes." He shook the Snitch. "But you haven't answered."

"We told your mother, Dorkius Maximus. There's no going back now. That's an even more binding contract than marriage. Don't think I don't know that." She made a snatch for the Snitch. "Gimmie."

"Aren't these things supposed to be hard to catch?" he asked, keeping it out of reach.

She tackled him. They wrestled on the ground, but she got the Snitch out of his hand. "Ha!" Bella got to her knees. "It's mine." Bella turned it over in her hands. "Where did you get this?"

"Guy was selling it outside Comic Con when I was waiting for you," Edward said. "I had to get him to paint over the 'Marry Me' on the inside. Apparently, most people use these for engagements."

"Imagine that. Use a ring box to hold a—" Bella gasped as she opened the box.

There wasn't a key in it as she expected. There really _was_ a ring. Her eyes shot to his.

"Not an engagement ring," he said, holding his hands up and out in a placating motion. "It's just a pretty ring for my gorgeous girlfriend."

"Pretty?" Bella squeaked. She took the ring out of the box, turning it over in her hands. "I think you got it switched. Your girlfriend is pretty and this...this is gorgeous. Total heart-eyes. Gah!" She straddled him again, this time peppering his face with kisses.

The ring was slim, made of two lightsaber hilts at the base—Luke Skywalker's Return of the Jedi lightsaber hilt to be precise—arcing up on both sides with emerald colored jewels.

Edward pushed her hair back out of her eyes, tracing over her lip with his thumb. "You were expecting a key?"

"That would make more sense for the whole moving in thing." She examined the ring now on her finger. "Unless this is some kind of James Bond thing that can open your door if I hold it the right way." She twisted her hand in several different positions.

He laughed. "No. I actually do have a key for you." He shifted them both a bit so he could get at his pocket.

Bella grinned when she saw what it was. The key was a wide one made in the image of Captain America's shield. "Team Cap," she said gleefully, taking it from him.

"I got a new one too," he said, winking at her as he held out his key. It, of course, was made in the image of Iron Man's chest.

"Dammit, man. You've seen Captain America: Civil War. United we stand. Divided we fall." She made a mock-disgruntled noise. "Are you sure you don't want to consider the separate house thing? If you're going to insist on making this a Team Cap versus Team Iron Man house, I'm going to be forced to remind you that Steve and Bucky kicked Tony's ass."

"Who's Bucky in this scenario?"

"Jake, obviously."

"Doesn't he end up as an icicle at the end of the movie? Excellent. That's a perfect place for your dog—an icicle deep in the forest guarded by a cat."

"Oh." Bella rolled off of him onto her back on the floor and pouted. "That just made me really sad."

"Yeah?" Edward rolled onto his side hovering over her. He rested his hand low on her stomach. "Then, I guess I'm going to have to make you really happy again."

"You think rug burn on my ass is going to make me really happy?" she asked as he unbuttoned her jeans.

"Hmmm." Edward's eyes raked up and down her body, sending a thrill of excitement down her spine. "Challenge accepted."

"What are you— Oh!"

 _ **~0~**_

"This is insanity," Alice muttered, taking a long swig of the wine Bella had poured her.

"Which part? The crazy family who've invaded my place, or the fact I'm moving in with a guy I met five and a half months ago?"

"Both."

"Hmm." Bella took a sip of her own wine. "I'm sorry you had to find out this way, you know."

Alice sighed. "I know."

It was, to Bella, the biggest wrench in this whole plan. She knew she had to make the decisions right for her, but she couldn't help but feel guilty. Her place—where Alice was almost certain to find her alone—was a refuge for her friend whose head sometimes got a little too loud. She'd been trying to figure out what to say to her friends, but honestly, Alice was the most important one.

Emmett bounded over to them. He leaned with his back against the counter, his eyes were bright with a boyish excitement. "Hear me out. I know you have more sway over Edward than I do. Do you know what would make this whole space battle thing you've got going on better?"

"A pew pew soundtrack because it drives Edward crazy that a lot of ships in movies make sounds in space?"

Emmett blinked. "Okay, that too. But really, we got to get a hydraulic system in. Get the whole thing in motion." He waved his hand in the air, simulating as he spoke. "Get the Falcon swooping in with a barrel roll."

Edward, who had ambled up when Emmett did, crossed his arms over his chest. "You do realize that what you're talking about is pretty much impossible, right? My place isn't a special effects lab, and I'm pretty sure neither of us has millions of dollars stashed away."

"Pfft." Emmett shook his head and looked to Bella. "We could make it happen, right? Just takes a little creativity?"

Bella sighed wistfully. "I've always wanted to make it move." Her eyes darted to Edward. He looked bemused. "But we haven't even discussed if I'm setting them up at all, so don't get ahead of yourself."

"Bleh." Emmett reached past her to a shelf and plucked up a lightsaber she had on display there. He pointed it at his brother. "You have the ring," he intoned in a voice deeper than usual. "I see your schwartz is as big as mine. Now let's see how well you...handle it."

"Disturbing," Edward said, his arms still crossed and his expression unimpressed.

"Before you die, there is something you should know about us, Lone Starr. Dark Helmet: I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate."

"What the hell is he talking about?" Alice asked Bella.

She laughed. "He's quoting from Spaceballs. Come on, Alice. Not even the parody nerd movies? Mel Brooks? Classic stuff."

"I've seen Not Another Teen Movie. Captain America with a banana up his ass will never not be good."

Edward reached out and gave Bella's sleeve a playful tug. "Bella thinks Captain America has more than a banana up his ass."

"Even a non-geekazoid like me can see the romantic overtones between Cap and the Winter Soldier, man," Alice said.

"Yeah, Cap spaces out when anyone talks about Bucky?" Emmett shook his head. "That's the sign of a man with a crush, dude."

Bella cackled, and Edward threw his hands up. "Surrounded by slash shippers." He gave Emmett a look. "My own brother. What the hell?"

Emmett whacked him in the arm with the lightsaber. "Put up or shut up, bro."

"You're going to break that thing."

"No, he isn't," Bella said. She handed Edward another lightsaber. "Do me proud."

Edward hesitated. He looked, for a moment, like he was going to do the mature thing and not fight. But then Emmett smacked his arm again, goading him.

Watching them, Bella groaned. "My peeps would love this so much. Ugh. It's so frustrating. Edward, what if I replaced your head with Kylo Ren's?"

Edward hopped back, avoiding Emmett's swing, and glanced at Bella. "You want to run that one by my mother?"

"Run what by me?" Esme asked, wandering over where they were. She narrowed her eyes at her sons. "What on Earth are you boys doing?"

"Wrecking my house, that's what," Bella said.

Esme put her hands on her hips. Edward turned to her, betrayed. "Hey."

"You threatened to tell on me. I'm just beating you to it," Bella said, smiling sweetly.

"You boys go help your father grill and stop getting into mischief."

Alone for another handful of seconds, Alice chuckled. "You realize how funny this is, right? You and I bonded because neither of us were close to our family of origin. Now look at us. Stuck in the middle of big, crazy families." She shook her head, taking another sip of her wine. "Don't be sorry about leaving me, Bella. This is good. This is what you deserve. I know my stupid brain chemistry makes it so I have to escape them every once in awhile, but I love my husband and my kiddos. They's so good to me, and you deserve that, too. You deserve the doting husband—and this jackass obviously adores you—and the geeklet kiddos who will be wandering around, quoting Lord of the Rings before they're even out of diapers."

"Whoa, don't get ahead of yourself. I'm just moving in with him."

Alice scoffed. "Who do you think you're kidding? You're in for it now."

Bella knocked back the rest of her wine with one gulp. "Yeah, I kind of got that impression."

 _ **~0~**_

As a rule, Jake didn't seem to like the Cullens. He was jealous of Edward. Emmett had barked back at him. Esme was very obviously not a dog person, and Jake could sense that. Ditto Emmett's wife, Rosalie.

The one exception to the rule was Carlisle. On entering the house, the first thing the man had done was squat down to Jake's level. He had smiled even as Jake snarled and barked at him. He'd merely held his hand out. Jake had shut up. Sniffed him. Huffed, and walked away as though Carlisle wasn't worth a moment more of his time.

Throughout the day, he wandered around, as though he was making sure all of these hooligans didn't steal his mother's things. Bella noticed he kept getting closer and closer to Carlisle.

By the time they all sat down to dinner, Jake butted his head against Carlisle's leg, yipped, and sat, looking up at him expectantly.

"He likes you," Bella said, awed.

"Well, good." Carlisle scratched him behind his ears, making Jake break out in a doggy grin. "I was hoping we could be friends."

"Don't you think your place is a little small for two adults and a dog?" Esme said in a light voice.

"Mom." Edward's tone held warning in it. Bella had the impression this had come up before. She furrowed her eyebrows. They'd been talking about her dog?

"These are things you have to think about," Esme said, looking at her son first and then Bella. "This place is lovely, Bella, and very spacious."

Was she suggesting they move in here? "It's leased from a cousin, so they give me a good rate," Bella said carefully. "But I don't have to be in one place for a job, and Edward does, so…"

"That's another thing." Esme turned to Edward. "Have you considered where Bella's going to be able to do her vlog? You only have the one room."

"That's the nice thing about a vlog," Bella said before Edward could answer. "I can do it anywhere."

Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw Emmett snicker, but thankfully, he didn't make the obvious double entendre.

Edward sighed. "Mom and Dad have been trying to get me to move into their rental house for years."

"Your mother is just trying to point out that it might be a good fit," Carlisle said. Bella noticed with some surprise that her dog had migrated to his lap by that point. "It's not a bad thing to consider, Edward. Meshing two very different personalities can be trying. A little space goes a long way to making that transition easier."

"The house has an office, which would be perfect for you, Bella," Esme said. "And an extra bedroom for...Uh. Jake." She smiled, covering up her obvious gaff.

Bella felt her cheeks flush. She looked to her side to see Edward likewise squirming in his seat. He reached over and took her hand, giving it a squeeze.

"There would be plenty of room to display some of your nicer pieces," Esme said. "We—"

"We have to talk about it, Mom," Edward said. He made an effort to smile. "Thanks."

Later, when they were alone and climbing into bed, Edward sighed. "I don't know why I didn't tell you about their offer with the house. I should have. It seems obvious now." He twined their fingers together. "What I said before is true. It's not just my place. It's not just my choice. Do you want to consider their offer?"

Bella studied him a long moment. Serious business conversation time. Okay, she could do that. "Why don't _you_ want to consider their offer? It sounds like a really nice place. Is there something I don't know about it?"

"It's a very nice place. Close to my work, too." He was quiet for another moment, considering. "I'm still not good at taking things from my parents. They've given me so much. I feel like I've done nothing but take from them."

"That's...kind of the definition of being someone's child, Edward." She sighed, pursing her lips as she thought about it. "They're great, you know. Your family. I love my parents, and they love me, but we're all a bit checked out from each other. I think it's sweet that they want to help you."

Edward rolled over, propping himself up on one arm so he could look down at her. "Us." He traced the outline of her lip with one finger. "They want to help us." He laughed. "Mom is _really_ concerned about your vlog. It's not just politeness. She's legitimately worried that you get adequate representation in our place. And that you're able to do everything with the vlog you're used to."

"Our place." Bella smiled. It did have a certain ring to it. "She's such a…"

"Mom?"

"Yeah." Bella was quiet a few seconds, considering. This was some big league decision making. "Well, we have two months before I can get out of my lease. That gives us time to think, right?"

Edward kissed the tip of her nose. "Good idea. Sex now. Life altering decisions later."

Bella squeaked and then groaned as she suddenly found herself pinned beneath her sexy, nerdy, cop boyfriend. And for a while, she didn't think about anything at all except about how head over heels she was, and that everything would work out in the end.

* * *

 **A/N: Happy Friday, my ducks.**

 **Remember, I post visuals in my group on Facebook.**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Allo, friends! Let's dive in, shall we?**

* * *

It had been a year.

A year ago, Edward had been assigned a beat that took him around the LA convention center—a gathering of nerds that didn't even begin to rival San Diego's Comic Con, but still respectable in its own right. A year ago, he'd stopped for coffee and had decided to get a refresher instead, just to see the strange woman he'd met minutes before blush.

Three months ago, they'd finally been able to coordinate their leases ending and had officially moved into his mother and father's rental. It made his parents happy, though Edward didn't think he'd ever understand that. When they took him in all those years ago, they'd already given him too much. They gave him a family when he didn't deserve one.

"You know how you like to spoil me—give me lavish gifts and take me to movie premieres where I can make a fool of myself in front of Robert Downey, Jr.?" Bella asked when he made the comment to her for the fourth time.

"And unwisely put you in the same room as Sebastian Stan who is apparently on your Famous Five Freebie list?"

"Yeah, that seems unwise. Why do you do that?"

"Because I love seeing you smile." He grinned at her. "And I like it when you do that jumping up and down thing. It makes your ass bounce."

She rolled her eyes. "Well, your parents want to give you things because they want you to be happy. Because they love you."

"Hmm. Not because they want to see my ass bounce?"

Bella shuddered. "God, I hope not."

So it came to pass that Edward no longer had taupe walls. In fact, all his rooms were a different color. Not garish colors.

His mother had come at them with color schemes. Apparently, one color per room wasn't enough. There was trim to be considered. And, "I really think an accent wall would be lovely here."

Bella had seemed as flustered as he was until she jokingly quipped that she wanted to do the living room in, "the blue from Captain America's uniform."

Esme had responded with a nice looking palate that did, indeed, correspond with Steve Roger's post frozen icicle uniform. So, while Bella called rooms by the names they were colored after—the Stucky room, the Castiel room, the Padme room—the average non-geek wouldn't be able to tell they were themed colors.

Then there was the _stuff._ Edward had to tell Bella at least forty times that he didn't mind her turning their place— _their_ place—into a geek's paradise. He'd loved staying over at her house, taking in the minute details.

He was just as big of a geek as she was—simply more understated. But he played most things close to the chest. He didn't mind letting Bella speak for him by putting up her action figures (which he played with because they were there, okay?), stocking his shelves with books and movies ("I just had it on for the seventh time this week as background noise, Bella"), and hanging up her wide array of interesting, geek-related art work. They'd picked out a few pieces together when they went to a con in Arizona.

That had been a close call. Bella, who wasn't on a panel but did have a signing, had been recognized. After the initial squeals and hugs, the fan had spotted Edward. She'd gasped. "Is this...Kylo?"

The fan had tried to snap a picture that Edward had barely ducked out of. Bella had asked her not to spread the fact that she was there with "Kylo." The fan seemed to have obeyed her wishes, but Edward had decided they just couldn't go to conventions together.

That, understandably, hadn't sat well with Bella. But he was who he was and she was who she was. They were just a little bit star-crossed. It wasn't as annoying as the three weeks it took for Leah and Jake to stop snarling and going for each other's throats.

Still, every once in awhile, Bella brought it up again.

Edward had discovered his girlfriend was dangerous. It was almost impossible to deny her anything when she was doing what she was currently doing. Her eyes were big and doe-like. She was biting her lower lip, which was, of course, jutted out.

"Please," she said, her voice all quiet and meek. "Please. For me?"

Bella was also straddling him. And she was naked. And he was more than a little distracted by her nipples.

Cunning woman.

So, right. His girlfriend was dangerous as hell. He exhaled with a huff. "Bella," he said with a groan. "Why are you making me say no to you again?"

"Oh, come on. You won't even consider it? This is a genius idea." She waved the mask in his face. "Haven't you ever seen that meme? Always be yourself. Unless you can be Batman. Then, always be Batman." She set the mask over his face. "Who doesn't want to be Batman?"

Edward took the mask off and set it to the side. He walked his fingers up from her belly to her chest, smiling when she sucked in a breath. "Why do you want me to dress up for your followers? I'd do it for you, but why them?"

She sighed, and her face turned serious. "I'm mostly kidding. I already knew you were going to say no. It's just so strange to me. I share everything in my life except the most important thing. And you're damn impressive, Edward. Do you know how popular you'd be? You'd bring in so much traffic with some of your antics."

"What antics?"

"Well, the athletic stuff is the most obvious. If you were to do that whole parkour thing you showed me in a Batman suit, you'd go viral for sure."

"Mm hmm." He tickled her belly, watching as her cheeks flushed and her nipples hardened. "You want to exploit me for hits."

"You can't blame me for the way I make my living, copper."

"I blame people for how they make a living all the time." He slid his fingers up her torso and cupped her breasts.

She put her hands over his, guiding his hands. "It could work," she said, beginning to rub against him, moving her hips. "The mask. You do the Batman voice. If it worked for Bruce Wayne, it could work for you. And then you could be in videos with me."

He sucked in a sharp breath as she slid over him and bucked his hips up against hers. "You'd really like that, wouldn't you? For me to be in your videos?"

"I think you're funny." She splayed her hand over his chest as she rolled her hips over his. "And smart. And you're such a delightful geek. Not like me. Not over the top and in your face, but…" She trailed her fingers over his tattoos, her eyes tracing the lines her fingertips made. "It's in your heart, and I wonder if you know how heartbreakingly beautiful that is.

"I'm one of the lucky ones. The lucky geeks. I was a loner, so those heroes, those stories, were my friends. I understood them when I didn't understand most people. But you…" She wrapped her hand around his cock, and looked him in the eyes. With her free hand, she tapped on the dual images scattered across his chest. "You got into heroes and villains because you understand them. The light and the dark." She leaned down, taking a kiss from his breathless lips. "You're a tortured superhero, and I love you."

When she straightened up, she took his length inside her. Edward sucked in a breath, stunned to silence by the intensity of what he felt for this woman. He'd never been able to find the words to explain why these fictional characters meant so much to him that he'd marked them on his body.

She saw him, and he had no idea how he'd gotten so lucky.

He bucked his hips up, his eyes threatening to roll in the back of his head as he drowned in her warmth. She raked her fingers through her hair and tossed it over one shoulder. She was wild, lovely, and he was scared of what he could see in her eyes—a future he wanted so badly, it hurt.

In minutes, sensation had taken over the thoughts in his head. His skin was too hot. Pleasure rolled through him in waves. His caresses became clutches, his fingers digging into the skin of her hips.

Bella threw her head back, gasping as she moved over him. She cried out, and the sound ended in a wanton moan. Her back arched, and Edward lost what little control he had over his body. He thrust into her with the strength of each spasm, emptying inside of her even as her walls clenched around him.

Just before they could both collapse into a sticky, pliant mess, Edward heard a familiar low growl. He rolled to the side, and Bella yelped as she tumbled off him onto the bed. "Jake!" She grabbed the snarling dog before he could get to Edward.

He wasn't going to bite; Edward knew that by now. Jake nipped him sometimes, but nothing serious. He was serious about protecting his mistress, but he'd figured out that he shouldn't rip Edward to pieces.

Edward poked the dog in the side. "If you come running whenever your mistress screams, little dog, you're going to have a heart attack." He leaned in and kissed Bella's lips. "Because I'm going to make her scream. A lot. I promise I'm not killing her."

"Hah. Don't make promises you can't keep," Bella said. "You've almost killed me a couple of times."

"Yeah, well. Just remember when you kill me first that Leah will scratch your eyes out. Right, girl?" Edward looked up to where Leah perched high on his bookshelf. She gave him a disgusted look, flicked her tail, and looked away. "Thanks, Lee. I'm glad you have my back."

"Dogs are better than cats," Bella taunted.

"False." Edward flopped down on the bed. Jake gave a little huff of a woof. Edward huffed back and growled.

"Don't antagonize him," Bella admonished, lying down beside him.

Edward scoffed, but he gave the dog a haphazard pat to stay on Bella's good side. He groaned and threw his arm over his face. "Hey, Bella?"

"Hmm?" She curled up against him, her hand resting low on his belly.

He put his hand over hers and turned his head to look at her. "Is it a really big deal that you can't share me with your followers?"

She grimaced. "I really want to say it isn't."

"But it is?"

"It's not that I blame you," she said. "It's just a stupid rule in this day and age. What are they so afraid of? Are they really that afraid one of their people is going to say something damning? What's the difference? It's not like the bad guys are less guilty if they see you on Facebook half naked."

"Well, it's not just about PR," Edward said. He grimaced and ran his fingers over her arm. "If someone gets a hair up their ass about me, and they find you…"

She sighed. She'd heard that argument before. "Do you know how paranoid that is?"

"I didn't write the policies, Bella."

"Sure, sure." Smiling again, she pecked his lips. "I'm sorry. I just really hate that I don't get to share such a huge part of my life with you. I'm so lucky, because I have a job that lets me get immersed in what I love, and that's where I found you. But I can't share so much of it with you because I'm the most minor of celebrities."

She rested her head on his chest with a disgruntled huff. After a few seconds of silence she looked at him again. "What if I autotune your voice and superimpose Kylo Ren's head on yours?" She hummed. "Hah, actually, I _am_ going to do that. Isn't Emmett's birthday coming up? It'd make a great present for him."

"Sometimes I swear you hate me."

"No." She cupped his cheek and kissed him. "I love you. I just wish your job would realize that keeping every single police officer off social media is an exercise in futility. I mean, really? You have a task force dedicated to this? Aren't there more important things?"

It was then that Leah jumped down from her perch, landing square on Bella's back. "Gah!" Bella exclaimed, but only out of surprise. The cat hadn't used her claws, so that was an improvement.

"She wants us to shut up and stop fighting," Edward informed Bella.

"Bah. Fine. You win this time, you fiend." Bella reached behind her to rub Leah's fuzzy head.

Well, Edward supposed fiend was better than Taupe, and so he considered that progress.

When he absolutely had to get up because the need to pee was greater than his need to keep his beautiful, naked girl in his arms, Edward groaned and rolled out from under her. He stood and stretched, his back to her, and laughed when she said, "mmmm," and licked her lips, looking at his ass. Of course he strutted as he walked away.

He opened the bathroom door and screamed.

It was a high-pitched scream. Bella cackled, and Edward growled. He smacked at the life-sized standee of Dean Winchester looking at him like he owed him something.

"Hey, don't hurt Dean," Bella called from the bedroom, still laughing.

Bella, Edward had discovered, had a collection of life-sized standees that she occasionally left scattered around the house to scare him. It worked. Every time.

Well, what? They were life-sized, after all. It was like walking into what you think is an empty room only to come face to face with a person.

Edward did his business and went back to the bedroom where Bella lay on her belly, legs up in the air, body twisted to look at him with an innocent but shit-eating grin. "Everything come out okay?" she quipped.

"Do you think you're funny?" he asked, crossing his arms in his best stern-cop pose.

"I'm hilarious." Her grin broadened, full of mischief.

He stared at her. She stared back. He could tell she was trying not to laugh. The tension between them grew and began to spark. Edward pounced. Bella screamed, and Jake started to bark. Leah jumped off the bed, back up to the top of the book shelf, exasperated with the lot of them.

 _ **~Bella~**_

Bella sat in front of her camera, set up for a live stream.

"Okay, kiddos. Hope you can hear me well enough. By popular request, even though the movie came out a few months ago, we're doing a livestream of me watching and reacting to _Captain America: Civil War_. Since, apparently, watching me flip out over _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them_ was hilarious for you people."

She pointed to a figurine perched on the sofa back. "Joining me is my loving boyfriend, played today by Jon Snow. Why? Because the love of my life continues insisting that he's Team Iron Man. You know nothing, Jon Snow. He does it just to antagonize me, I swear. But you guys should have seen him when we saw Rogue One. That man loses his shit over Star Wars. It's adorable." She sighed. "I wish I could show you."

Bella considered a moment, then swapped out Jon Snow for Finn from _The Force Awakens_. "Still mostly wrong, still mostly full of shit. Slightly more precious cinnamon bun, too good for this world. Okay. You ready, Finn?"

As the movie began, Bella started her whole diatribe about the Scarlet Witch. "See, the problem with her is the same problem Castiel has in Supernatural. They have to find ways to sideline them, because why can't they just take care of the problem with their powers? So they have Scarlet Witch guaranteed and Cas…" She scoffed. "Cas is—"

Whatever she was going to say cut off as the ground shook. "Earthquake?" she mumbled out loud.

But it wasn't. There had been a boom. A very big boom. "Um… hold on, guys." Her voice was shaking. Her heart was pounding. Something was wrong; she knew it in her gut. She went to the window and peered out in the direction of downtown Los Angeles. She gasped. "Oh god. Oh god."

There was black smoke billowing from one of the buildings. And Edward was on patrol. Her heart leapt up into her throat and her stomach churned sickeningly.

"I have to go. I'm sorry, guys." She wasn't even looking at the camera anymore. Her voice shook, thin as a leaf. "I have to go."

She left the camera running as she ran out the door, already trying to dial Edward's number.

* * *

 **A/N: Promise to update quickly.**

 **Um. Hi?**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Okay, just in case anyone here is an expert in what would actually happen in an emergency situation… I am not.**

 **That being said, hold onto your butts.**

* * *

 **~Edward~**

There was nothing to be done about it.

He and Tanya were among the first responders on the scene. Smoke and fire billowed out of the building, and they both knew there wasn't enough time to wait for the fire department. There was no indication that there was an active terror situation. No bad guys. Just smoke and fire and the threat there could be more explosions at any second.

It wasn't the kind of situation that required a lot of thought. Edward did his job. He secured exits, directed traffic, and did his best to calm panicking people. The building continued to shake. People continued to scream. It was chaos, but he got as many people out as he could.

They were clearing the daycare on the fifth floor when the call came in.

A voice came over the walkie on his shoulder. "It was gas main, gas pipe, whatever. The point is the building is unstable. Get out of there. Now."

Over the din, Edward had thought he'd heard crying. Not like the adults everywhere. He hit the button. "Did you get confirmation from the daycare that they have everyone accounted for?"

"Not yet."

Edward grunted and looked around the room he was in again. He listened as hard as he could, but the building was creaking, groaning. It was going to collapse. He knew it. He didn't know how he knew it, but he did.

He also knew he didn't want to leave this room yet.

Tanya grabbed him by the arm and tugged. "Get a move on, Cullen. We're done here."

"No, I—"

A heartbreaking cry of terror rang out clear over the noise all around them. A child's cry.

"Shit," Tanya said between clenched teeth, already moving.

They found the little girl—a tiny thing—wedged in the coat closet behind a neat row of children's coats. She was beside herself with fear—scared out of her mind.

"I have you, sweetheart. You're going to be okay," Edward said, hoisting the girl up in his arms.

They ran. Over the walkie, he could hear a roll call of rescue personnel and others still in the building. They were on the third floor when the building shook. Hard.

Edward pitched forward. The little girl went flying out of his arms. There was a horrible crack, a rumble, and a snap. The snap, he quickly realized by the blinding pain, was his ankle. He groaned and strained, managing to yank his leg free from the debris that had knocked him over.

"Oh, God." Tanya was standing over him, her arms full of the terrified and now bleeding little girl. She tried to shuffle the girl to one arm, but she had a vice grip on her neck.

Edward waved his arm. "Go. Go now."

"Edward—"

"The building is going to collapse." His head was swimming. The snapped bone of his ankle was sticking out of his skin, and his cheeks were clammy. "Go," he yelled when she didn't move. He swallowed hard, afraid he was going to throw up. "You tell my girl she's the best thing that ever happened to me. Tell her I love her more than anything."

"Edward—"

"Tell her, Tanya." He took a deep, steadying breath, trying to keep his vision from blurring around the edges. "It's been good, partner. Get the kid out of here."

Tanya held his eyes for another beat. "I'm sending someone back for you," she said, her voice rough.

And then she ran.

 _ **~Bella~**_

Bella ran most of the way. The traffic was too crazy to get close via car. She stole a bike. It took thirty-five of the most excruciating minutes of her life to get close to the building. Black smoke was thick in the air, and Bella's lungs burned.

Of course they wouldn't let her through the perimeter. But things had happened too quickly. It wasn't a secure perimeter, and Bella was a woman on a mission.

She had the ridiculous thought that the whole thing would have been easier if she were an Avenger. Or a Jedi. Or fucking Batman. If she was Batman, she would have already been inside the building, dragging Edward out of it.

She was sure he was in the building. She knew it in her gut.

The argument she was having with the harried police officer got cut short by another boom. A big boom. They both turned and watched in horror as the front of the building just...fell off.

Bella sank to her knees right there on the street, her hands clapped over her mouth. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't do anything but stare. A cloud of smoke and ash came toward them, and she ducked her head against it, wrapping her arms around her stomach as she did.

Then, she screamed. She screamed and screamed and didn't think she'd ever stop.

 _ **~Edward~**_

Edward wasn't entirely sure he was alive.

For a long time, all he'd seen was black. He could see the sky now. Beautiful blue—when was the sky in Los Angeles ever blue—in between the clouds of black.

And there was an angel hovering over him. His own personal angel. Except something was wrong. Her face was ashen. Literally, she was covered in ash—white and black where her tears ran down her cheeks. She was so upset. Her lips moved like she was yelling, but he couldn't hear a damn thing.

He raised his hand and cupped her cheek. Then, the world faded again.

 _ **~0~**_

There was too much pain for him to be dead. Everything hurt. His blood burned. He couldn't see, but he could hear...something. It was a warped, garbled sound.

Demons? Was this hell then?

If it was hell, eternity was going to suck.

 _ **~Bella~**_

It was four days before Edward was not only awake but cognizant. Bella was mostly asleep, but she jolted awake when she heard Edward's groan of pain.

That wasn't atypical of the last four days. What was atypical was the look in his eyes. She knew instantly he was there, really there with her. His eyes were slightly glazed, but they were focused. Bella gasped. It had just been so long since she'd seen _her_ Edward.

He winced, and that got Bella breathing again. "I'll call the doctor. If you—"

His fingers tightened around hers as she moved to stand up. He closed his eyes briefly and licked his dry lips. "No." His voice was raw. "Stay. Don't go."

Bella didn't need to be convinced. She dropped back into the uncomfortable chair she'd been living in the last four days and put her free hand over her mouth. He blinked at her, his eyes slow and sleepy. "Don't cry."

"I'm not crying," she said, wiping away a tear. He gave her a look and she sniffled. "Fine. I'm crying. But I'm not stopping just because you said so. Stop ordering me around, jerk. Don't go. Don't cry. Who do you think you are?"

His lips twitched. "Okay."

"I'm going to get you some ice chips."

"Okay."

This time, he let her go. The ice chips weren't far. Even when he wasn't awake, Bella ran ice over his lips, because she couldn't stand to see how dry and chapped they were all the time. There was a lot she couldn't stand about the whole situation, but rubbing an ice cube over Edward's lips was something she could do.

"How long?" he asked.

"How long have you been out?" Bella sighed when he gave a barely-there nod. "Four days. Your parents haven't left. They're in the cafeteria. Emmett comes at least three times a day." She concentrated on the corner of his mouth. "I haven't left."

He grunted, blinking at her. He opened his mouth several times. He must have had so many questions. "What happened?" he rasped, his eyes on her.

She huffed. "A building came down on you." Her voice wavered.

He took a deep breath and groaned.

"I need to call a doctor. You—"

He shook his head, his eyes still closed against the pain. "Believe me, I remember the building coming down." Another labored breath. "What happened after that? Is the little girl okay?"

"Of course she is, Captain America." She was crying again, dammit. "Do you know how many people you saved? I know we talked about superhero cosplay, but that was supposed to be just for the bedroom. You don't have superpowers."

"Batman didn't need superpowers."

"Batman was a gazillionaire with a lot of gadgets. You have a baton, a gun, and some pepper spray. When you get a gatling gun, then we can talk about your actual superhero status. Until then, I'd appreciate if you remember that you don't, in fact, have a fucking bat suit that can protect your silly ass from, I don't know, buildings beating the shit out of you."

She pressed her lips together into a thin line. She was going to lose it, and she didn't want to.

"Bella…"

"I'm sorry," she said, wiping tears away from under her eyes. She sniffled. "Yes, she's fine. She had a concussion and a horrible gash on her arm. You're getting a medal. I think you're getting more than one medal. Don't ask me what kind, because I was a little distraught when people were talking about it. Something about how the medals might be posthumous. Don't they call them Purple Hearts?"

His lips quirked. "That's the armed forces." He licked his lips. "Who did it? The building."

"Improper maintenance."

"No bad guys?"

"No. Just dead people, survivors, and heroes."

It appeared to take him a great effort, but he raised a trembling hand to brush her cheek. She caught his hand and pressed it against her cheek.

"Give me the bad news," he said.

She knew what he wanted. He wanted to talk about what was wrong with him. He was a mess, but Bella wasn't prepared to care about that. He was alive. She could work with alive, and that was what was important. So she deliberately misunderstood.

"Okay." She sat up straighter. "You're right. It's pretty bad."

He grimaced and put on his stoic face.

Bella continued. "Now, I think the important thing to remember is that this is not my fault. Not really."

His brow crinkled. "What?"

"Well, I guess it's better if I show you." She took her phone out, pulled up the images, and handed him the phone. "So, uh… you know how there's always that one iconic image associated with every disaster? The one that gets played more than any other? That gets splashed all over social media?"

"Holy hell," he said on an exhale.

It was them. Both of them. Edward, covered head to toe in blood and ash, hanging half out of the rubble, his head resting on her lap. He was looking up at Bella—not bloody but similarly caked in ash—with his hand cupped to her cheek.

"I just want to reiterate this wasn't my idea." Bella paused a beat. "Even though the numbers on my vlog are going through the roof, and my book might actually reach best seller status." Neither of those things had really sunk into her yet.

Edward groaned. His head lolled back, and he blinked up at the ceiling.

"You still think I'm the best thing that ever happened to you?" she asked.

His eyes cut to her. "Tanya told you?"

"You died twice that first night," Bella said. Her voice shook again. "She told me."

His eyes were getting hooded. He was going to fall asleep again. "I love you, Bella."

"Not as much as I love you."

He scoffed. His eyelids closed. As he drifted to sleep, she rested her head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat.

 _ **~Edward~**_

It was overwhelming.

He wanted to go back to six months ago so he could tell himself to stop pouting over a knife wound and a little bit of physical therapy. The blood loss had made him feel weak, but blood replenished on its own with time.

That was kitten play. His life hadn't ever been in real danger. He had electrical burns on his chest from being brought back. Twice. He couldn't take a deep breath. His right lung had collapsed after it had been skewered by one of his broken ribs. All of which were incredibly painful.

There was fluid in his lungs, but that could be drained. With any luck, he'd avoid pneumonia. The cuts in his mouth and the rawness of his throat were from the tube that had been shoved down his throat when he couldn't breathe on his own.

The ribs would heal. Mostly. Ribs were tricky. Broken ribs couldn't be put in a cast. They would hurt for the rest of his life off and on, but they would continue doing what ribs were supposed to do.

His leg was another story. Besides being fractured, more damage had been done when the building fell. There were pins in his hip, and for the moment, he couldn't walk. Whether or not that was going to be the case forever had yet to be seen.

But there was nothing he could do about that right at that moment, so he was letting his brother distract him.

"Dude. You and Bella are like instant celebrities. Look. This is dramatic, okay? Someone put together a video of all the footage. This shit could win a best picture Oscar."

Emmett held up his phone and let Edward watch. The video started with Bella doing her vlog thing only to be interrupted by a boom. She went to the window, and all the blood drained from her face. She ran out the door, leaving behind a silent room—the black smoke of the burning building clearly visible out the window. The sirens in the background—one of which was likely his—sent chills down his spine.

The video then went on to show clips of different newscasts interspersed by video of the explosion. People screaming. Car wheels screeching.

Then his voice. "We're on site and going inside."

More footage and news clips as the rescue went on. Videos of people pouring out of the building and climbing out of the original hole interspersed with his own voice or Tanya's updating their progress. The camera shook as the building neared collapsing. There was footage of Tanya streaking out of the building, the little girl in her arms. There was no sound, but she could be seen transferring the girl to the arms of a medic and grabbing the arm of a fireman. She pointed back at the building, obviously telling him that Edward was still in there in desperate need of help.

Of course, just as the fireman took one step toward the building, all hell broke loose. The front part of the building collapsed.

But that wasn't the most terrifying part of the video to Edward. No. The most terrifying part was where Bella could be seen, digging through rubble. He still wasn't clear as to how she got that close to the building. It had been someone's job to hold her back, and that person had failed. Against all odds, she was there on an unstable site. Against all odds, she had been the one to find him. There was no sound in that part either—the part where she held his head on her lap and screamed for someone to help him. He lifted his hand to her cheek. She stared down at him, love so clear in both their eyes. And then his hand fell lifelessly away.

Yeah. It was dramatic as hell.

And it had been shared over a million times.

"Robert Downey, Jr. wants to meet you," Bella said, appearing in the doorway.

Edward looked at her, raising an eyebrow.

"I told him to fuck off unless he did for you what Iron Man did for Rhodey at the end of Civil War." She came to stand beside Emmett.

"Wait, are you serious?" Emmett asked.

"About which part?"

"Any of it."

Bella smiled at Edward, taking his hand as he reached out for her. "Yes, Robert Downey wants to meet you. No, I didn't tell him to bring new legs." She brought his hand to her lips. "Your legs are going to be fine."

Edward smiled. Bella had told him more than once that they were just at the part of the hero's story where he had to put himself back together again. Usually, that crap was covered by a montage of workout videos. Eye of the Tiger played. She'd said they just couldn't fast forward, that was all.

And when she looked at him like that, he believed everything was going to be okay. It was going to suck, but she was going to be by his side. If she said it was a foregone conclusion, he was willing to believe her.

"Don't think I don't see what you're doing here," Bella said, waggling a finger at him. "You have requests coming out your ears. Everybody wants to see you."

"And you," he pointed out.

"Apparently, nerds makes for adorable photo ops," Emmett said, rolling his eyes. "Do you know you've gotten invited to Skywalker Ranch? Dude, you better take me." He reached over and ruffled Edward's hair. "Mom and Dad will be back in an hour, so get your alone time in while you can."

When Emmett left, Bella sat in her chair by Edward's side.

"John Williams composed your theme," Bella said.

Both Edward's eyebrows arched. "I have a theme?"

"We're in the news a lot." He could tell she was fighting a smile. "I mean, you're not helping matters anyway. They already heard that you instructed hospital staff to distribute all the toys you've been sent to the kids in the children's wing."

"Where were we going to put that many dolls, Bella?" His room had been flooded with all manner of nerdy goodness. He had Pop Vinyl dolls and super hero figurines coming out of his ears. "It looks like Comic Con threw up in here."

"I didn't tell the press that I took veto rights. It's not that I don't trust a seven-year-old with a $140 lightsaber prop; it's just that I don't trust a seven-year-old with a $140 lightsaber prop." She paused, looking sheepish. "Plus, that's fucking cool."

"You already had three of those, Bella."

"Can anyone really have enough lightsabers?"

"Yes."

She made a face at him, and he laughed. Then he groaned. Fucking ribs.

"Shit, sorry. I didn't mean to make you laugh." Bella rubbed his arm.

"Yeah, well, you can't help if your face is funny looking." He waggled his eyebrows at her.

She narrowed her eyes. "Are you taking advantage of the fact I can't hurt you right now?"

"Possibly."

"You're a very bad person."

"Mmmm." He rubbed his thumb over her knuckles. "I have to take advantage of these bedridden superpowers while I still have them."

"Right. Exactly, because you're going to be up and about again soon." Bella made a face. "Although, if you think I'm not going to talk to you about your choice of career—"

"Bella," he said warningly.

"You were stabbed and then you ran into a collapsing building. In six months." She huffed. "Besides, we're lucrative. You, me, and the Internet."

Edward shook his head. The odds he was ever going to be a cop again were slim to none, and they both knew it. "I'm trying to take advantage of a situation here, do you mind?"

She wrinkled her nose but raised a hand. "Okay. Hit me. You can probably get whatever you want from whomever you want. Personally, I'd push for a role in the next Avengers movie, but—"

"There's only one thing I want," he said.

"What's that?"

"You." Edward licked his lips. "Marry me, Bella."

Her eyes popped wide. "What?"

"Marry me."

She cocked her head. "How high are you right now?"

"Pretty fucking high. Like I always am, but that's not the point." He took her hands in his. "Bella. I had exactly one regret when I was dragging myself down the stairs, knowing I was about to die."

Bella whimpered, surprise falling to a pained expression. Edward shook his head and squeezed her hands. "My regret was that I hadn't had enough time with you. But I realized right then, that nothing would have been enough. A hundred years wouldn't be enough." He looked in her eyes. "Marry me."

For five long seconds, she stared. Then, she laughed. "You bastard. I couldn't say no to that even if I wanted to, could I?"

"Think of the bad press. We owe it to the public. Apparently." He cocked his head. "Do you? Want to say no, I mean."

"No!" Her eyes had brimmed over, and she laughed again. A giggle. "I mean. Yes. I mean… yes, I'll marry you. Of course I'll marry you."

She leaned in then and kissed him. She peppered kisses all over him, cradling his face in her hands.

And that, he thought, was all he needed. Her glowing, happy face was enough for Edward to know.

He was going to stand beside Bella on their wedding day. On his own two feet.

* * *

 **A/N: My docs are hilarious. I just want y'all to know.**

 **Admit it. You thought I forgot this is a humor story, didn't you?**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Let's see how Edward's dealing with being all over social media.**

* * *

 _ **~Edward~**_

"This is crazy."

Bella grinned at him. "It really isn't." She fixed him with a look, throwing her legs over his lap. "You're going to have to come up with a new catchphrase. You said it was crazy when the President of the United States called you personally to inform you she'd be awarding you the Medal of Valor."

Edward made a face. "That's still crazy."

"Yeah, I know." She nodded with a face of mock-seriousness. "There's no precedence at all for giving a medal to the guy who very literally gave his life getting people out of a collapsing building."

He grunted.

Bella ruffled his hair. "You really think it's crazy for a national hero to be interviewed by the biggest name in primetime news?"

"All of this is crazy. I don't want to be a hero"

"Oh, do you want some cheese to go with that whine?"

Edward banged his head against the back of the couch. "I'm not going to do any of it."

"You can say no to Mrs. Hot Shot Primetime news reporter. She makes people cry anyway."

"Not me. I wouldn't cry."

Ignoring him, Bella wagged her finger in his face. "But we're doing the Late Show. You can't take that away from me."

"Stephen Colbert." His lips quirked up as he looked at her. "That's pretty cool." He nodded with her. "Also—crazy."

"Is there a point at which you come to terms with the fact we're celebrities?" Bella regarded him with an unimpressed look. "Because we are, you know. I've showed you the numbers on our vlog."

"Your vlog."

"It's our vlog now."

"It's your vlog." Edward crossed his arms over his chest and looked forward. "I told you. They're going to get sick of me."

"Hah. Fat chance." She bumped his side gently. "How many times do I have to tell you? You're a natural on the vlog."

"All I do is display my ignorance of Internet culture." Edward smirked. "Emmett said it's only a matter of time before I come up against the social justice warriors. What the hell does that mean?"

Bella snorted. "You've already come up against the social justice warriors. All you have to do to get on their good side is not be sexist, racist, or make a mockery out of things like disability and mental health. That's surprisingly difficult for some people who are butthurt that rape jokes aren't funny. Ever."

"That seems like a no-brainer."

"You would think." Bella bopped his nose with the tip of her finger. "I know this isn't the life you wanted. I know you want privacy and a life of quiet service. I know you never wanted any part of your life splashed on Facebook, and Twitter, and…" She leaned over, rifled through papers, and picked up something off the coffee table, holding it up. "I know you never wanted to be on the cover of Time Magazine."

Edward shuddered. He hated that damn picture. He hated the pain etched on Bella's face. He reached out, took the magazine from Bella's hand, and threw it back on the coffee table face down.

Bella ran her fingers through his hair tenderly. "You're charming and devilishly handsome. You're the biggest nerd I've ever met. Of course people loved you on my vlog. Of course the nation is obsessed with you. Which means we get invited to parties, and get to meet celebrities, and Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ, I really think we're going to need to hire a publicist at this point."

Edward rubbed a hand over his eyes and laughed wryly. "And you're telling me none of that is crazy?"

"I don't think it's crazy that anyone would find you charming and devilishly handsome." Bella twined her arm through his. "Look, I know Internet Vlogger isn't your occupation of choice."

"Technically, I'm still on payroll with LAPD." He was their poster boy these days. He'd half hoped the chief would order him not to talk to the press, but he'd done nothing but encourage Edward's newfound celebrity.

"Look, the point is, it's not a bad way to make a living, you know. For now." She rubbed his leg above his knee, looking into his eyes. "This is your real job, you know? And you're working so damn hard. I'm so proud of you, and it's really not a shock to me that the rest of the country is too.

"It's not forever, Edward. We're going to beat this thing, and when we do, we'll reevaluate our lives then, right? Together."

Warmth spread through Edward's chest. He brushed the backs of his knuckles down her cheek. "Yeah, babe. We got this, you and me."

She leaned in and kissed him once sweetly. "If anything, I should be the grumpy one."

"Oh?" He traced the lines of her face. He liked looking at her face. It was a very nice face.

"Yeah." She brushed his hair back. "A lot of my old fans hate me now, you know."

Edward pulled back. "What? Why?"

She lifted her hand, backside front. "Because of this ring on my…" She looked at her hand and gasped. "Oh, wait. I have no ring."

He knew she was teasing. She'd told him she didn't need a ring. He took her hand and kissed her knuckles. "I'm working on it."

 _ **~Bella~**_

Bella laughed. She plopped down on the opposite end of the couch and straightened her camera, aiming it at Edward. "Further evidence in the case that my gorgeous fiance is actually Captain America. Not unlike Steve Rogers, our fair Edward, despite his many talents, cannot figure out modern technology. Unlike Steve Rogers, he doesn't have the excuse of being encased in ice for like...ever."

Edward raised his head and leveled a cool look at her. Bella hissed. "Uh oh," she said. "He's making a case for the Hulk. If you're going to give me Bruce Banner, you're going to have to brush up on your science game, sweetheart."

His lips twitched.

"What seems to be the problem?" Bella asked, setting the camera down to face both of them and scooting over to sit beside him.

"This thing ate the picture my mom sent." He proffered her the phone. "I can't get it back."

Bella snorted when she saw the program he had up. "That's Snapchat."

"I know _that._ "

"You get two chances max to see what someone sends on you Snapchat."

His brows furrowed again. "What? Why?"

"Because it's Snapchat."

"No, really. What the actual fuck is the point of that?"

Bella smirked. "You know you said what the actual fuck, right? You're picking up Internet lingo already."

"I know. It's horrifying. Also, if you ever call me bae, I might divorce you."

"We're not married."

"Yet."

Bella quirked an eyebrow. "So you're going to marry me just to be able to divorce me?"

"That's how much I hate the term bae. I really wish I didn't know that it existed, actually. It's probably the most horrible thing that's ever happened to me." He looked back at her with a grin.

"You were stabbed, you know."

"Only a flesh wound."

"Okay, Monty Python. How about that building that fell on your head?"

He cocked his head, giving her an innocent and thoughtful expression. "I recall a building dropping on my leg." He gestured at his leg. It was propped up on the coffee table, the lower part in a cast with pins toward the top. It was all very Frankenstein's monster. "And the same building tried to crush my ribs. My head was relatively unharmed, though."

A knot raised in Bella's throat. She raised a finger to trace a thin, pink scar that ran along his cheek near his ear. "Yeah. Relatively."

He caught her hand and brought it toward him. He kissed her fingertips. "Bella?"

"Huh?" She'd spaced out a bit, lost in her memories of those terrifying hours when they didn't know if he was going to live.

"Snapchat?"

"What about it?"

"It ate my mother's pictures."

"It eats everyone's pictures. Again, that's the whole point."

He scowled. "I thought nothing disappears forever on the Internet. That's why you're not supposed to do stupid things. That's the whole reason cops aren't supposed to be on social media."

"That's what makes Snapchat great. You do something stupid and it's gone nine seconds later."

Edward stared at her. "So I have nine seconds to view the thing?"

"If the person who sent it to you has the right settings on it. I had mine set to three seconds for months."

Edward made another face. "I have three seconds to see a picture?"

Bella smiled. "You can replay it."

"It's a picture, not a video."

"You can replay it."

He scoffed. "Fine. Show me." He proffered her his phone.

"Well, it's too late now. I just told you, stuff only stays on Snapchat for a very short amount of time. This is the app you want to use if you're going to get drunk. You send the picture. People see it, then it's gone."

"And you're sure I didn't download a super secret spy program, right?"

Bella laughed. "If you downloaded that one, the picture wouldn't disappear, your phone would melt."

"Okay, Maxwell Smart."

"Don't you think I'd be Agent 99? I mean, I'm always schooling your ass."

Edward screwed up his face. "I'd like my cell phone more if it was in my shoe."

"That's gross."

"Uh huh." He sighed and glared at his phone. "So, the long story short is that Snapchat is the most annoying app on this damn thing. I mean, what's the point? My mom posts pictures to Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and in Hangouts, but the ones she posts on Snapchat disappear? What the hell good is that?"

Bella took her phone out of her back pocket and snuggled closer to him. She held the phone aloft. "Smile."

He gave her a wary look. "You're not going to turn me into a pineapple again, are you? Because that was creepy."

"Smile," she said again.

He sighed, looked at the camera, and smiled. Then he laughed. "You turned me into a Disney character."

"I think it's supposed to be a deer."

"Bambi is a Disney character." He pecked her lips. Then, his eyes lingered on hers another beat before he leaned in for another kiss. "Bella?" He murmured against her lips between kisses.

"Hum?"

"Turn off the damn camera." He kissed her again. "They don't get this."

 **~Edward~**

Being on Colbert and Fallon was fun. They played games, traded jokes. Colbert was a huge nerd, but Edward went toe-to-toe with him on _Lord of the Rings_ trivia. It was a tie. Edward could live with that.

Primetime news was different. Primetime news was serious.

They started out easy. Serious but easy.

"You got a lot of gifts when you were in the hospital," the anchor prompted. "And a lot of visits."

"Yeah, you know, a lot of people on Bella's…" Edward stopped and swallowed. Bella, sitting next to him, squeezed his hand. "On our vlog think that I'm an attention seeker." Edward smiled. "I feel like there are better ways to get Joss Whedon's attention. He called me, and sent this really great replica of Serenity."

The anchor smiled patiently. A little patronizingly, Edward thought. "So who was your favorite?"

"My favorite visitor?" Edward asked.

"Or call, I suppose."

"Easy. Maggie Kincannon."

A brief flicker of confusion went across the anchor's face. "She's the little girl. The three-year-old."

"She was visiting a cousin. In the heat of the moment, she was missed in the initial headcount, and she was hiding in a closet."

"She came to visit you?" the anchor asked.

"She did. Gave me the best present too. A drawing of me. I didn't know I looked like an alien, but it was good information to have."

The anchor chuckled. She looked to Bella. "Who was your favorite?"

"Oh, I'm not nearly as adorable as Edward. Robert Downey, Jr. Hands down." Bella grinned. "He and Edward went down to the kids' ward. I was Team Iron Man for a whole day before I came to my senses."

Most of the other questions weren't as easy.

"Aside from the obvious" -the anchor gestured at Edward's leg- "have there been any lasting effects? Post traumatic stress? Nightmares?"

Edward was quiet a long moment. He had no idea what got into him, but he answered honestly. He readjusted his grip on Bella's hand. "Nightmares."

The anchors eyes turned all earnestness and sympathy. "About the building? The fire?"

It was straight out voodoo. Edward answered again. "About Bella, actually."

Beside him, Bella jolted. "Me?"

He turned to her. How had this happened? Fricken Primetime reporters. "I dream it was you in the building instead of Maggie. That it was you I was looking for, and I can't find you."

"I wasn't in that building. You were."

"I know. But even then, losing you was my worst fear."

Her eyes went glassy. His throat got tight.

Damn Primetime reporters.

 _ **~Bella~**_

The anchor hadn't asked her, but if she had, Bella would have had to admit that she'd had crazy anxiety since the accident. At random times during the day, she wouldn't be able to calm down until she could see Edward with her own eyes.

Now, they were in bed, and she was resting with her head on his chest. It had been a long while before she could do that for more than a few minutes at a time. She was addicted to the sound of his heartbeat.

"Hey."

She also liked the way his voice rumbled against her ear when he spoke. The vibration was lovely. So was the feel of his finger brushing the side of her cheek and tucking her hair over her shoulder.

"Are you okay? You're quiet."

"Rare. You should take advantage of it."

He chuckled. And that was another great sound from her position. "What are you thinking about?" he asked.

Bella raised her head to look in his eyes. "I was thinking that a lot of people would have resented me for what happened after the building."

"What?" He ran his fingers up and down her back. "Bella, you're not the reason I was in that building."

"No, but I'm the reason your life is the exact opposite of what you want it to be." She sat up on her knees, looking down at him. "You know that's why your life is so crazy, right? It's because the press had about five thousand hours of me being amazing, charming, and adorable."

"Also modest."

"I tell it like it is. So, they have me, and then there's you. Handsome, heroic, also adorable. Do you know how great we look on television? We're a media wet dream, and that's why they haven't forgotten our names already. That's why I have a three-book deal." Bella huffed. "This is all my fault."

"For being too adorable."

"Yeah." She looked down on him. "Although, you don't help matters at all, giving them soundbites like you did today." She cupped his cheek, stroking her thumb over his lips. "The only nightmare you have is about losing me."

"I came close."

"You were the one who died, Edward," she reminded him again.

"Same difference." His fingers danced along her sides. "Heaven wouldn't be heaven without you."

Bella's heart twisted with the overwhelming emotion that surged through her. "There you go again," she said in a whisper.

"There are no cameras in here."

"So you think."

He grinned. Bella smiled back. "You love me," she said.

"Boy, nothing gets past you."

She leaned in and kissed him. "I love you."

"I know."

* * *

 **A/N: I think, my doves, that I can wrap this up in one or two chapters.**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Ready, lovelies?**

* * *

The good thing about not technically having a job was that it gave Edward a lot of time to work on getting better. He couldn't walk, but he was going to get there.

Right now, nine months after the building smashed the hell out of his leg, he was still mostly working on strengthening his atrophied muscles. He could stand for a few seconds in therapy. Last week, he'd been able to take a single step. It was marked progress, if frustrating.

Bella worked with him more often than not. Sometimes she just kept him company, playing Eye of the Tiger to make him laugh, reading him _Lord of the Rings,_ if they were at the physical therapy office, or the fanfic that people wrote of them. That was a whole other level of bizarre he wasn't sure he was ready to deal with.

What the hell was an OTP?

In any event, Bella was his rock; she kept his mood light, creating a comic book version of his life. He was, she claimed, the perfect comic book superhero. He had the tragic backstory. He had the bravery and valor.

"The trouble is the ongoing drama," Bella said once, sitting cross legged on the mat while the physical therapist helped Edward find his balance. "The personal strife storyline is heartbreaking. It's a bold first choice. I mean, as the love interest, I can't say I appreciate it. The public eats it up, though, obviously.

"But where does this leave me for future storylines? I don't do damsel in distress."

Edward scoffed. He didn't much care for the idea of Bella being a damsel in distress either. It was part of what made him wary of the whole social media thing. People were unnaturally obsessed with them now. What if one of them took it too far?

He gritted his teeth, struggling through the stretching exercise the physical therapist was putting him through. "You could be a sidekick," he said, rather than think about freaky fans or the pain shooting up his leg.

"Holy superiority complex, Batman." She chuckled, marking something on the tablet she was working on intently. "If I'm going to be a superhero, I'm going to be a superhero in my own right. But really, I'm not too interested in being a comic book superhero. I don't have the tragic background, and I'm really not in the mood to get one. Then, there's all that self-sacrifice bullshit. The rub—the most extraordinary people have the most ordinary dreams, and they never get to have it."

Edward laughed with a shudder, leaning against the physical therapist and the walking bar. "So if I'm a superhero, I don't get the two-story house, the white picket fence, and the kids in the yard."

"Ew. I'm not living in a house with a white picket fence. Have a little more imagination."

"You can be Megra."

"Hmmm." Bella grinned when she met his eyes. "'I'm a damsel. I'm in distress. I can handle this.' I can live with that. Plus, I am dating a Greek demigod." She stroked a thumb over her chin, her head cocked to the side. "Hmm. In fact, we can do that for Halloween."

"You can't think about Halloween yet. It's November."

"Never too early to plan." She straightened up, a bright look on her face. "We can cosplay for Comic Con next July. You're going to look fantastic in that little cloth thing."

Edward ground his teeth, struggling to take another step. "Sure. Why not."

"It's always good when you agree with me." She looked to his therapist. "He going to be walking by then?"

"This guy?" His therapist, Maggie, shook her head. "He's going to be walking by next week."

Bella got to her feet and kissed Edward on his sweaty cheek. "Show off."

Her phone rang with the X-Files theme. They both raised their eyebrows. That was her second phone; the one that only rang if their publicist—because their lives had gotten that crazy—needed them. Bella walked a few paces away. "Hello?"

Edward concentrated on walking for a while until he heard Bella's sharp, "What!"

When he looked over, she was quite literally bouncing up and down like a six-year-old. "Yes. Yeah, of course. Set it up. Yes. Please."

She said a few more things before she hung up and bounced back in his direction. She vibrated in place, bracing herself on the walking bar opposite him. "We're going on Ellen."

Edward's eyebrows shot skyward. The therapist made a strangled noise. "As in...DeGeneres?"

"Yes." Bella squeaked when she said the word, and Edward smiled.

Ellen's people had been on them in the first round of guest appearances. But Edward had been a lot worse off then, and scheduling never worked out. Bella had done her best to hide her disappointment, but it was Ellen. Even Edward had been bummed about it. As much as he was mystified about the very public turn his life had taken, he had to admit meeting some of the people they'd met was cool.

Now, the President was ready to award him and four others with the Medal of Valor, as promised. There was another rash of media frenzy, and this time, he would make sure nothing stood in the way of this date.

 _ **~Bella~**_

The minute the door to the green room closed, Bella threw herself down onto the couch with a high pitched, "Aieee."

Edward laughed. "You know she has cameras back here, right?"

Bella straightened up, grinning so hard her cheeks hurt. "Well, I wasn't planning to mount you here, stud."

He rolled his eyes. "Thanks, but that's not what I was worried about. You think she's not going to play that fangirl moment on national television?"

"Uh huh, and you think you played it cool? It took you like five minutes to stutter out, 'Nice to meet you, Dory, I mean, Miss...uh...Mrs...uh, um, Ellen.'"

Edward's cheeks flushed, and he rubbed the back of his neck. "It's Ellen. Who wouldn't fangirl?"

Bella bumped his shoulder. "Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming."

His lip twitched. "Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming," they said together.

Bella had the passing thought that it was too bad she hadn't filmed that little segment for the vlog. Their fans would have loved it.

She shouldn't have worried. Edward's suspicions proved correct as Ellen used their backstage footage as an introduction.

"See, he likes to pretend that I'm the geek in the relationship," Bella told Ellen after they'd all been chatting a while. "But come on. This is the same guy who insisted we get Star Wars wedding bands, you know, whenever we set the date."

"I love you? I know?" Ellen asked, all smiles.

"And, he wants two sets. So sometimes he gets to be the 'I love you,' and sometimes the 'I know,'" Bella said, turning to grin at Edward. She adored this man.

Ellen looked to Edward. "Four wedding rings, but no engagement ring as I understand it?"

Bella glanced at Edward who was looking appropriately abashed. "The wedding rings were simple, really," Edward said. "They're special and meaningful to us. But, I guess I've always thought the engagement ring should be more fun. A little more ostentatious."

"Because I'm an ostentatious kind of girl," Bella said, rolling her eyes.

Edward turned to her and raised an eyebrow. "When it comes to all things geek? Yeah, baby, you are."

"You are the same person with the space battle coming out of her ceiling, right?" Ellen asked. A picture of said space battle—with all the improvements Bella and Emmett had worked on these last few months—appeared on the huge screen behind them. Bella was there, holding a Star Wars X-Wing aloft, her mouth pursed in the midst of what anyone could imagine was a 'pew pew pew' noise.

Bella blushed scarlet. Ellen waved her head. "Anyway, so the problem is, they don't sell the kind of ring you're looking for at Robbins Brothers."

"Right," Edward said.

"Well, it happens, I know some great designers," Ellen said, and Bella's heart began to beat fast. "I subjected them to your vlog—"

"Poor souls."

"—and told them each to come up with a design."

To Bella's shock and delight, one of the grips brought out a _tray_ of gorgeous rings. Each of them was themed—a beautiful silver ring with a bright emerald and gold trimmings for Loki, sleek black and red garnets for Darth Vader, etc. Bella jumped out of her seat, exclaiming over a few of them and bouncing before she remembered she was on camera. She sat down on her hands quickly.

"So, I guess this is the part where we ask. Will you marry him?" Ellen grinned.

Half an hour later, Bella was backstage again, staring at the ring on her finger. She had never seen anything so beautiful. It was surprisingly delicate—a silver band laced with tiny diamonds down the side, and a simulation of Captain America's shield on top—garnets for the red, diamonds for the white, and a blue diamond star in the center. It had been a hard choice. She'd have been happy with any one of those rings.

The best part was, Ellen—knowing Edward was working on setting up a charity for kids who, like him, were in danger of heading down the wrong path—had set up an auction for the remaining rings. She'd also said the designer was interested in making Edward a companion ring—something sleek in the Winter Soldier's silver and navy colors.

"Are you going to be my Bucky?" Bella asked, twining her fingers through Edward's and resting her head on his shoulder.

"I'm just barely getting my leg back and you want me to lose an arm?"

Bella shuddered. "No, and I'd prefer you didn't go through the whole brainwashed super soldier storyline either. Speaking of comic book plots that won't turn out well for us."

He turned and brushed the tip of his nose with hers. "But you want me to wear the engagement ring."

"How else will all the ladies, and a number of men, know you're claimed?" She batted her eyes, the picture of innocence.

"Uh huh. You need to put your mark on me, do you?"

Bella raised her head and quirked a challenging eyebrow. "Excuse me? Says the man who just put this monstrosity on my finger?" she waggled her fingers.

"Hello? Were you not just in front of a live studio audience? I didn't buy that ring."

She fixed him with a gimlet stare. "Not that I wouldn't be tempted to say yes to her, but Ellen is already happily married. Are you going to tell me you had absolutely nothing to do with this? I know I was a basket case out there, but don't think I didn't notice that you weren't surprised."

"I can neither confirm nor deny the existence of a collaborative effort that may or may not have preexisted your call from the publicist."

Bella stared at him with wide eyes. "Damn, Edward. I'm beginning to think you were undercover as this social-media-hating cop persona. Are you actually an actor?"

He kissed her cheek. "Only for you, love."

 _ **~Four Months Later~**_

"Oh my Christ on a cracker."

"Yeah," Alice said. "You know how I was miffed when you said I wouldn't be doing your hair and makeup? I was wrong."

They both, along with the makeup artist Disney had sent along, stared in the mirror. Bella blinked several times, but no. That was actually her.

"Dude," she craned in her seat to grin up at the man. "You turned me into a literal Disney princess."

It had been a lark when she said it. She and Edward had done a vlog with them arguing over various wedding-related issues. Bella made it clear she had no desire to wear white, and had mused that she always wished those Disney princess costumes little girls wore in Disneyland were available in adult sizes. Before she knew it, Disney was on the phone offering up a whole range of services from their venues—did she want to be brought to the courtyard in Cinderella's coach?—to a dress of her choice. She'd let them do the dress, the cake, and—when she remembered that Disney owned Star Wars now—the bridal shower picture package as well.

Because who wouldn't want their official wedding pictures to include Ewoks and droids?

She'd chosen Belle, and now here it was, her wedding day. She was dressed in the most lovely gold gown that really sparkled just like in the movie. Her hair was done up in just the same way Belle's had been too. Her makeup was flawless, her cheeks highlighted with sheen of subtle glitter.

"See, this isn't fair." Alice pouted in the mirror. "You get to look like that, and I get to look like this." She stepped backward, gesturing down at her outfit.

Bella giggled. Everyone in the wedding party besides the bride and groom were dressed as the Avengers. "I don't know what you're complaining about," she said, smirking at her friend. "I let you be Loki. Loki isn't an Avenger; he's a bad guy."

"You let me be Loki because Jasper is Thor, and you—being the freak you are—ship Thorki."

"No one loves Loki as much as Thor does."

When her mother came in, Renee seemed briefly put out by Bella's gown. "Do you know I tried to get you into one of these when you were six?" She shook her head. "You screamed and cried, and I finally had to buy you Prince Phillip's shield and sword instead."

"Sounds like something I would do," Bella said, rising to kiss her mother's cheek.

Renee arched an eyebrow. "Are you wearing a tiara?"

Bella grinned.

 _ **~Edward~**_

Not for the first time, Edward considered the fact his life was crazy. If he had only been a cop doing his job when the building collapsed around him, the hype would have died down fairly quickly.

But no. Instead, he had an adorable girlfriend who came with a small legion of followers and, more importantly to this scenario, large quantities of footage vaguely related to the hero of the hour—him. Between that and the iconic photo—Bella cradling his busted head in the midst of rubble—they were both instant celebrities.

His life was different now. He'd gone from being off-the-grid in social media to being too far in the public eye for his comfort. Still, he'd seen from moment one that he couldn't opt out—not when Bella already had mini-celebrity status all on her own. That was why he'd agreed to do the vlogs with Bella, had agreed to the interviews, and much of the other craziness. It was why he had a Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, and who even remembered what else account, and why he knew, by now, how to use all of them. Hell, he even knew how to sync them.

Days like today, he was nothing but glad about the change in his life. Without everything that had happened, he wouldn't have been able to give Bella a dream wedding of this magnitude on his own. Which wasn't to say it wouldn't have been great, but hey. If so much of his life was going to be public, he was sure as hell going to enjoy the rewards.

The venue was spacious—a sprawling lawn and garden that could have passed for the set of a palace. In fact, it probably had been. It was a popular filming spot, he'd been told.

They didn't have a photobooth so much as they had a photo area. There were about thirty-standees from various fandoms—superheroes and Jedis alike—and props from those movies. All the food was themed to some form of geek-dom or another. The waiters wore Jedi robes as they bustled about serving.

There was a dance floor set up—currently empty but tastefully decorated like a scene out of the Nightmare Before Christmas. But most of the space was taken up by an outdoor replica of the Great Hall of Hogwarts.

Four long tables were set up. Guests were encouraged to choose their Harry Potter house—Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Slytherin, and Hufflepuff. The sorting hat sat on a stool by himself, and there was a quiz in case anyone was confused. The tables were separated, two on each side, forming an aisle.

At the head of the aisle was the Iron Throne.

Edward still had to laugh when he saw it. It had been Bella's gleeful solution to the fact Edward still had a hard time standing for long periods of time. The throne was built slightly larger than necessary so they could both sit side by side during the ceremony while Dumbledore officiated.

Yeah, they'd found a patient officiant.

"Dude. This is insane. You know that, right?" Emmett asked, coming up beside Edward.

Edward grinned. "Don't act like you aren't jealous. You wish your wedding was as cool as this."

"You're right. I kind of want a redo. Although, I wouldn't be green at my own wedding." Ever the good sport, Emmett had agreed to go all the way in his role as the Hulk. He was, indeed, green. And shirtless.

"Did you know Bella actually wrestled Leah into a Captain America outfit for our family photo? Just because she found a Winter Soldier outfit for Jake."

"Yeah, I saw the picture. Have I mentioned you're both gigantic dorks?"

"I wasn't the one who did it," Edward protested.

"I know that cat, Edward. One of you had to hold it down to shove the poor thing into that costume. You're going to tell me it was her?"

Edward smirked.

"Also, why don't you get to be a superhero?" Emmett asked. He furrowed his brow. "What the hell are you dressed up as?"

Edward blushed. "Flynn Ryder, and because I'm marrying a Princess."

Fifteen minutes later, the fanfare played. A remote control operated R2-D2, his dome open to show off the rings Edward and Bella would soon wear, was first down the aisle, accompanied by the Star Wars fanfare and a prettily decorated BB-8, likewise remote control operated.

Bella's three bridesmaids made their way down the aisle, appropriately, to the Avenger's theme. Edward saw Rosalie roll her eyes. It did sound like they were about to go out and fight evil rather than get married.

Bella, breathtaking in her princess dress, walked down the aisle at her father's arm—Charlie got to wear a suit, the spoilsport—to the Imperial March, because she made no sense. Edward beamed, more in love with her in that moment than ever before.

Charlie placed her hand in his, and together they sat on the Iron Throne. Looking into Bella's eyes, Edward knew the rest of his life was going to be an amazing adventure.

 ** _~The End...For Now~_**

 **A/N: Bwah ahhahaha I love Betsy. She's not a nerd, so she said their wedding was a hot mess. Thanks for the beta, my darling. And thanks to Packy, Mina, Eleanor, and MoH.**

 **SO… our story is ended. There will be at least one epilogue because geek babies, amirite?**

 **On a personal note** — **my newest original fic novel, Spaces Between Notes, is coming out on Thursday. It's available for pre-order now on Amazon under my name, Kristina M Sanchez. Here's a summary for you:**

 **Nikolai Amorosa is one of those men's men. You know the type—allergic to feelings, couldn't have a heartfelt discussion if he tried, which he never did. Then, he lost his voice, and any chance of communication went out the window.**

 **Unable to speak or otherwise interact with anyone, Niko's anger was off the charts. It could've been worse; he could've been in jail. Instead, he found himself doing construction on Carys Harper's house. Carys talked—a lot—both with her voice and her hands. She was also at the beck and call of her deaf little brother, Benny, which drove Niko nine kinds of crazy. Not that he would've said anything, even if he could.**

 **Something else that drove him crazy? Carys was stubborn. She wouldn't let him wallow. More than that, she seemed to hear all the things he couldn't say. She understood him like she understood music. She heard what existed in the spaces between notes. She knew that sometimes silence screams the loudest.**


	19. Epilogue I

**A/N: So… I had to split the epilogue into two smaller pieces (MINA, I SWEAR TO JEEBUS). I know. We're all shocked. So here's the first half.**

* * *

Edward breathed a sigh of relief when he finally pulled into his driveway. What a harrowing weekend it had been. He laughed at himself. His very first convention without his wife.

Bella had been horrendously ill the day they were supposed to get on a plane, headed for their next convention. Somehow, she'd convinced him to go on alone.

Well, he guessed he'd have to come to terms with the fact he was an honest to god vlogger now. He wasn't just Bella's sidekick. Him being on the vlog wasn't a way to pass the time since he couldn't go back to his job as a police officer, and the public fervor had to be managed somehow. Now, he had his own following. His own bi-weekly segment that he did by himself, and no one had seemed too upset when he showed up without Bella. Not that they didn't miss her, but they were just as happy to have him all to themselves.

Right, so, life was strange.

Edward opened the door and went inside. "Bella?" he called. He set down his duffel on the couch and started to head toward Bella's office when something caught his eye.

Ah. His wife had gotten a new poster. Edward was used to this. Bella's collection of collectibles and other nerdy paraphernalia grew on a monthly basis. It wasn't uncommon to find she'd redecorated.

What was new was the genre of the movie poster.

"Husband!"

Edward gave an oof as he was tackle-hugged by Bella, who was obviously feeling better. "Hello, wife." He took her face in between his hands and kissed her.

"Mmm," she hummed against his lips, her hands rubbing up and down his back. "What were you staring at?"

"Our new artwork. Since when do you like zombie movies?"

She stepped back and shrugged. "Maybe I just like that one."

"Uh huh. Did you get this poster off one of those street vendors?"

"Why would you ask that?"

"Because you know they're knock-offs. This one is misspelled. It's supposed to say 28 Days Later. This one is missing an R."

She had a strange gleam in her eyes as she looked back at him. "That is definitely the correct poster."

He furrowed his brow.

Then, he got it. His eyes went wide. "No."

"It's true. I'm exactly twenty-eight days late today." She snickered. "I waited to tell you specifically so I could make that joke."

He laughed. "You're a nerd, you know that?"

"Ah. Yeah. Kind of got a vlog about it." She wrapped her arms around his waist and kissed his chin. "Remember? Hired you a couple years back when you were out of work?"

"So magnanimous of you." He kissed her. "Bella," he whispered against her lips. He ran his hands down her sides and pressed a palm to her belly. "We're going to have a baby?"

She nodded, her cheeks pink and pleased. She put a pinky to her lips. "I shall name him Mini-Me."

Edward laughed. A deep joy bubbled up in him as her words truly sank in. He gripped her around the waist and spun her around. "We're going to have a baby."

"Yes." She laughed. "And put me down, you freak. You want to make a pregnant woman dizzy? That's not going to end well, believe me."

He set her down instantly, his eyes wide with worry. "You were sick. That's why you didn't come this weekend." He took her face in his hands again. "Bella, are you okay?"

"Calm down." She shook her head, her expression bemused. "In case you were wondering, the second reason I waited a month to tell you was because I had the feeling you were going to keep me in bed like this was the 1800's."

"Oh." Edward knew a good idea when he heard one. He leaned down and swept his wife up into his arms.

"Ah! Edward!" She clasped him around the neck. "What are you doing?"

"Putting you in bed where you belong."

"You're going to want to think that one over before you end up sleeping on the couch. You want to try that again? What are you doing?"

"I said…" He set her down on the bed and quickly climbed over her so they were nose to nose. "I'm putting you in bed where you belong."

Her breath stuttered. Her cheeks flushed. "You have a plan to keep me here?"

He smirked. "I can think of a few things." He leaned in and kissed her. A hard kiss—intense, his tongue pressing into her. She gasped against his lips but quickly opened for him. Her hands trailed up his back into his hair.

Edward broke their kiss, his fingers already working the buttons of her shirt as he attacked her neck. He nipped with his teeth and soothed with his tongue, reveling in the little yelps and sighs she made.

Her shirt fell to either side. Edward pushed up her bra so he could take her pert nipple into his mouth. He lathed the bumpy skin, pressing her down when she squirmed and gasped beneath him.

"Mother of madness. Edward." She moaned as he let his hand drift down, down, even as he kept his mouth busy. He tangled his fingers in the damp curls above her sex, and then he stroked her clit. "Oh, hell. Ah."

Edward kissed a line from her chest to her stomach. There, he lingered. His kisses were reverent then.

A baby. He had a beautiful, vibrant wife. A good life, despite a few setbacks. Now he was going to be a father.

He kissed back up her body. When she could reach, when his body was more in line with hers, she reached between them and unbuttoned his jeans. She slid them down his hips as he reached her lips. Their kisses were breathless then. She took his length in her hands, stroking him, guiding him home.

They both groaned when he entered her. He stroked into her, sweet and slow, pressing little kisses to her lips, catching her sighs on his tongue. She wrapped her legs around his waist, taking him deeper. He hesitated-was he going to hurt her or the baby?-but when she cupped the back of his neck, pulling him toward her, he let his weight rest on her. Her fingers in his hair sent wonderful chills down his spine .

"I love you," she said, the words drawing out on a groan. "Oh, man. I really love you."

He pressed her legs back, grinning when she arched up to meet his thrust and cried out. "You love me?" He pressed his mouth to hers in an open-mouthed kiss, breathing in the air she breathed out. "Or you love my cock."

She snickered. "You. Oh. Your, ahh. Your cock isn't that… isn't that… impressive." She blurted the last word as she arched again, her walls squeezing around him as she let out a strangled cry.

"I love you," Edward said a minute later, catching her breathless kisses as they both calmed down. He kissed her lips. He kissed her chin. He kissed a straight line down to her belly. There, he pressed a lingering kiss. "And I love you. Daddy loves you."

He rested his head on her chest and rested a hand over her belly, holding his family in his arms. He fell asleep with Bella stroking his hair.

 _ **~Bella~**_

"I can't believe you're making me do this."

Bella patted Edward on the head. "Hush you. Your whole life for the next—eh, what are we at—six months is but to please me." She straightened up, her hands on her hips, and looked over the spread. Mandrake cupcakes—it pleased her that they looked like dirt. Potion bottles for decorations—really just Edward's collection of fancy olive oils with labels stuck on them. Mugs of butterbeer—homemade, of course. Cakepops that looked like Hedwig or the Golden Snitch. She clapped her hands together.

Everything was set.

Just in time, the doorbell rang. Bella and Edward seated their guests, giving each of them a wand and a name. "For a game we're playing later." Edward had Ginny's wand—for which Emmett teased him profusely—and Bella had Harry's wand, because obviously. Emmett had Ron's wand and Rosalie Hermione's. Carlisle and Esme had Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. Alice got Luna's, because that was too perfect, and Jasper got Neville's, which Bella made sure to tell him was not book canon, but movie Neville turned out to be a hottie, so there you go. Tanya got Fleur's wand. Bella had also put Dobby ears on Jake, who greeted her with a patient doggy grin, and just informed everyone that Leah was Professor McGonagall. She was 90% sure the tiny witches hat she'd bought for the cat would be met with claws to the face.

"You got one wand left," Emmett said, pointing at the lone wand left on the tray. "Is someone else coming?"

After Bella shot him a look, Edward sighed but then smiled and delivered his line. "Yeah, someone else is coming."

"That wand is for Albus Severus," Bella said.

This was, as she suspected, met with blank stares all around. "Who?" Tanya asked.

"Isn't that Harry and Ginny's kid?" Alice asked, and then she gasped. "Wait!"

"Like I said…" Bella set the ultrasound image down next to the wand. "That one is for Albus Severus."

Everyone started yelling and hugging and generally making merry. After she'd hugged them both tightly and cried a bit, Esme sniffled and looked worried. "You aren't really naming him Albus Severus, are you? The first son was James Sirius."

Bella laughed and threw her arms around her mother-in-law. "Don't ever change, Esme."

 _ **~Two Months Later~**_

"This chick is adorable. And insane. Do you know why her vlog is more popular than ours?" Bella looked over at her husband who stared back at her, bemused.

"Because she's so gosh darn cute?" he asked.

Bella narrowed his eyes. "Oh, you're asking for it, aren't you? You think she's cute."

He rolled his eyes. "Bella. I know she's cute. She's adorable. That's her thing. Purest snowflake on the web. And what's more than that, you know all those things. The reason I know you know all these things is because for the last two hours—while you've been marathoning vlog episodes of Nerdy Nummies—you've been exclaiming, 'Jesus Christ, woman, stop being a ray of goddamned sunshine.'"

Bella crossed her arms over her chest and glared at the TV screen. "Rosanna Pansino has got to be the sunniest person on the planet. Which is great. I mean, I'm totally charmed. Whatever."

Her traitorous husband snorted at her. Bella ignored him. "It's just that I'm pregnant and moody and I really want to kill her."

Edward nodded, his face the picture of seriousness. "And that's why you've been watching her for two hours. Of your own volition."

She wrinkled her nose. "I have to watch."

"Because…"

"Because I'm going to be a mom!" Bella looked down at her ever-expanding waistline. "I need to know how to bake, and if I'm going to bake, I'm going to bake nerdy. Obvs."

"Oh, yes. Obvs." Edward scooted closer to her on the couch and put an arm around her shoulders. "You don't need to learn to bake, Bella."

"Our kid is going to want nerdy nummies," Bella insisted.

"Then I'm sure we can get the recipes off the Internet when the time comes. Without having to subject ourselves to Mrs. Chippy McChippersons over there."

Bella sighed. "She's so sweet in person." She giggled. "Literally."

"I see what you did there." Edward kissed her forehead tenderly. He reached over and pressed a few buttons on the laptop so that Rosanna Pansino and her overzealous baking disappeared. "Maybe we should settle some more pressing matters before we move on to baking."

"Like what?"

"Like a name."

"Oh. That. How important is a name really?"

"Clearly someone has never seen The NeverEnding Story."

Bella considered for a moment. "I don't think I like the name Irene. It doesn't blend well with Cullen."

"Well, we can take that name off the list then." Edward made a sweeping motion in the air.

"I'll tell you what else we can take off the list."

"What's that."

"Luke."

Edward was quiet. Bella smirked. She pointed at him. "Ah hah!"

"Ah hah, what?" he asked.

"You did want to name him Luke if he's a boy. You gigantic geek."

"Tell me you don't want to name our kid a geeky name."

Bella grinned. "Of course I want to name him or her something geeky. That's not the point. You want to name him Luke just to be obnoxious."

"I resent that remark."

"Oh, really. So you don't want to name him Luke because you really want to be able to say, 'Luke, I am your father?'"

"First of all, that's not the direct quote, and you should be ashamed of yourself. That's amateur stuff, Bella." Edward shook his head mournfully. "He only says, I am your father. None of this Luke business. So I can do that to our kid no matter what."

Bella narrowed her eyes at him. He stared back, the picture of innocence. "What about Gotham?" he asked.

She furrowed her brow. "What? Ew. No. Why?"

"So I have an excuse to put on the Batman mask when you say, 'Gotham needs you.'"

Bella groaned. "Help. I married a geek."

"You love it." He pecked her lips.

Hours and two nerf gun fights later, they had their names picked out.

"Sebastian Anthony," Bella repeated.

"Sebastian for our mutual like of Sebastian Stan, and Anthony for Tony Stark. So both Team Cap and Team Iron Man are fairly represented," Edward said, nodding to himself in satisfaction.

Bella quirked an eyebrow. "Right. It has nothing to do with the fact your middle name is Anthony too."

"Perish the thought," he said, and grinned.

"So Sebastian Anthony Cullen or Rey Elizabeth Cullen. Rey for our favorite heroine. Elizabeth for your mother." And because nothing else went with Rey, which they both really liked.

Edward put a hand over her belly and she put her hand over his. "Soon," he said, tilting his head against hers.

Bella grinned, a thrill of nerves going down her spine. "Soon."

* * *

 **A/N1: Geekiest baby ever next chap.**

 **A/N2: *pushes Kris aside* Mina here, updating this for Kris, because she apparently has a social life *scoffs* Loser... Anyways, have you heard that our beloved Kris has a book out? Her newest original fic novel "Spaces Between Notes" is available now on Amazon under her pen name, Kristina M Sanchez. Here's a summary for you:**

 _Nikolai Amorosa is one of those men's men. You know the type—allergic to feelings, couldn't have a heartfelt discussion if he tried, which he never did. Then, he lost his voice, and any chance of communication went out the window._

 _Unable to speak or otherwise interact with anyone, Niko's anger was off the charts. It could've been worse; he could've been in jail. Instead, he found himself doing construction on Carys Harper's house. Carys talked—a lot—both with her voice and her hands. She was also at the beck and call of her deaf little brother, Benny, which drove Niko nine kinds of crazy. Not that he would've said anything, even if he could._

 _Something else that drove him crazy? Carys was stubborn. She wouldn't let him wallow. More than that, she seemed to hear all the things he couldn't say. She understood him like she understood music. She heard what existed in the spaces between notes. She knew that sometimes silence screams the loudest._

 **GO GET IT NOW! You won't regret embarking on this journey.**


	20. Chapter 20

**To my Star Wars geek anon (to be read in a playfully teasing voice). First of all, Luke's wife was not Callista Craycomputer. It was the bad ass Mara Jade. Thou shalt not profane the name of Mara Jade by calling her creepy Callista. Bah!**

 **But the answer to your question is that the team who began the Star Wars franchise anew specifically stated that they washed their hands of the EU (expanded universe). Believe me. No one was more upset than I was. I fully intend to name my daughter Jaina (If/when I have one).**

 **When I watched Ep 7, and I could see Han was about to call his son's name, I was chanting "Jacen, Jacen, Jacen," in my head. I didn't mind Ep 7 for the most part, but I still think the dumbest thing was them naming Kylo Ben. Leia and Han had nothing to do with Ben. They didn't know him. There's no reason they couldn't have at least used the name—an homage to the EU fans who lost so many great characters. I still call him Jacen if I don't call him Kylo. And I so wanted Rey to be Han and Leia's. Sigh. I miss Jaina.**

 **I'm still naming my kid Jaina.**

* * *

The baby in the bassinet next to them began to whimper, and Edward and Bella groaned. Then, Bella giggled. It was an exhausted, punch-drunk kind of giggle. They were both so tired. She turned her head toward him and grinned. "Looks like two people in this house need a diaper change."

Edward cocked his head, listening to his son. "Is that his needs-changed cry?"

"How the hell should I know?" Bella tittered again. "I don't know him that well. I only met him two days ago."

A grin pulled at the corners of Edward's mouth. That wide smile that hurt his face. He reached out and took Bella's hand, squeezing it tightly. She grinned back at him—tired but happy. They were parents.

They were parents with a gorgeous son whose cries were quickly escalating from whimpers to 'where the fuck are you guys? Worst. Parents. Ever.'

"Right. You take care of whatever's happening down there." He made a vague gesture at his wife's nether regions. "And I'll take the small one."

"You mean you don't want to change my diaper?" She pouted.

He rolled over and pressed a quick kiss to her lips. "I would, but the doctor said no kinky business for at least six weeks, remember?"

"Oh, right. And I did swear you'd never touch me again."

"There was also that."

"Go attend to the child."

He kissed her once more and rolled out of bed, hurrying to her side of the bed where their son lay in his bassinet. "Hey, Seb," he said softly, cupping his son's head carefully as he lifted him up. "Daddy's right here. Settle down."

Sebastian wasn't inclined. He waved his tiny fists in fury as Edward laid him down on a blanket on the bed. He kept up while he was wiped and changed. Bella ambled over at that point, sitting on the bed next to Edward and resting her head on his shoulder. "Shhh," she murmured around a yawn, patting the baby's belly.

Meanwhile, Edward snapped his son into a fresh onesie. "This one is much more appropriate." The onesie had a stormtrooper on it with the words Daddy's Storm Pooper. Bella snorted lightly in his ear.

By that time, Sebastian had quieted at least a little. He still fussed, unhappy even as Edward held him close and rubbed his back.

Bella yawned again, bringing her hand up to stroke the baby's downy scalp. "Come on, kiddo. You know you're cranky because you're so tired. There's no reason to fight it. You're literally incapable of focusing your eyes, so I know you're not staying up to binge watch on Netflix. You got tiny little hands, so you can't claim it's a late night gaming session if you can't reach the keys. Sleep now while life is boring."

"You think his life is boring?"

"Eat, sleep, and poop. And it's not even like he's getting a gourmet meal." Bella straightened up, touching a hand to her breast. "This stuff really only comes in one flavor."

"Hmm. Have you tried eating pineapple?"

She smacked his leg. "Ow," he complained. "Seb, Mommy's being violent in front of you."

"There's a Nazi-inspired merchant of death on his shirt. You know that, right?" Bella yawned again.

Edward kissed her cheek. "Go to bed," he said, standing up with his son safe in his arms.

"Where are you going?"

"To the living room to binge watch Netflix and/or subject him to a movie about a small terrorist cell sabotaging government property and murdering thousands."

"Edward Cullen, if you show him Star Wars for the first time without me, I will kill you in your sleep."

"He can't see anything. And he doesn't understand English."

"Death. By lightsaber."

"You know lightsabers don't work, right? Not outside the Star Wars realm." He backed out of the room.

"I'll beat you to death with it. That'll work well enough."

"I promise, this is your mother's way of showing she loves me." He patted the baby's back consolingly. "You're delirious," he called over his shoulder to his wife. "Go back to bed. This is all a dream."

He heard her grumble, but she didn't follow him. Poor love. Sebastian's birth hadn't been easy.

Edward carried his whimpering baby boy into the living room and settled with him in the rocking chair. He pulled the legs up and laid the baby across his knees, content to stare at him. He wasn't over the awe of it yet. He was this boy's father. How had that happened?

Sebastian had stopped fussing, but he wasn't asleep. Edward tried to find familiar features in his son's face. Mostly, he couldn't see himself, though he thought perhaps Bella was right about his nose. He could see the similarity. His nose.

His father's nose.

Edward didn't really remember his parents. His biological parents. They were blurry around the edges of his memory. It was strange to wonder if his own father had done this very thing; if he had stared at baby Edward, looking for himself and his mother.

Stranger still to consider that his father must have wondered, like Edward did now, about what his son's life would be like. He sighed, a strange melancholy settling over him.

"What if, Seb. What if." What if, when his son had a child, he'd be in a whole different family?

Edward shook his head, and worked his finger into his son's hot little palm. He smiled as Sebastian flexed around him. "So, this is your life, little boy. I can't tell you where you'll end up, but I can let you know more about what you've gotten yourself into. I guess this is your first bedtime story, isn't it? In the comic book world, we'd call this your origin story. "

He lifted the baby into the crook of his arm and settled back, beginning to rock." You were born to a fallen cop and a beautiful, brilliant free spirit." Edward smiled. He did see Bella in the shape of his son's lips and the wisps of brown hair on his head. "Your mother, little guy. I can already tell you she's going to be the one with the pearls of wisdom." His lip twitched. "Granted, they might all be quotes, but she knows how to break it all down. Did you know she assaulted me not even a minute after we met? Of course, you didn't know that. Everything is new to you."

Sebastian blinked, rolling his lips and making baby noises. Edward took that as a sign of approval and continued. "Here's the possibly tragic part about your backstory. See, Mommy and I are quasi-celebrities. It's Mommy's fault. Well…" Edward grimaced. He and Bella had many arguments about this subject during her pregnancy. "I guess it's my fault for running into a collapsing building. But we're maybe just a little bit famous. Nothing crazy, but we have a fanbase and best-selling books. That kind of thing.

"I'd say it's not what I wanted, and it isn't. But I became a cop to help messed up kids like me. Don't know if I've mentioned that. Your daddy was this close to not having any of this because I was a screwed-up kid." Edward cleared his throat. "Anyway. As it turns out, I was able to help a whole lot more people after I got myself benched. I started a charity, and that, plus your mother's witty, nerdy as heck videos, means we kind of keep a spotlight on ourselves. Not my intention, but you know what they say about life.

"It doesn't have to mean anything horrible for you. It makes me nervous—the idea of sharing you with the world. Some people have an unhealthy obsession with us as it is, and it only takes one." Edward shook his head and forced himself to take a calming breath. He didn't want his son to pick up on the anxiety he felt sometimes at being so damn accessible. "But Mommy made a good point. Everyone already knows we had a baby. They're going to obsess about you anyway, and I don't want you to be afraid of going to events with us. So, probably you're going to make your small-screen debut in a day or two.

"If it turns out attention isn't your thing, don't worry. There are some great perks. Do you know how many nerdy onesies we own?" Edward whistled and smiled. The baby's eyelids were starting to droop. "Your uncle Emmett said he bets you're not going to be a nerd. He says you're going to be as straight-laced as they come and wonder how you ended up with such geeky parents. Maybe that's true. But until you're old enough to fight back, your clothes are going to kick some major ass. And don't even get me started about what your mother has planned for Comic Con."

Unconcerned, Sebastian had drifted to sleep. Edward rocked a while in silence, just staring again. After some minutes of this he stood and went back to his room. He settled the baby carefully on the bed in between himself and his sleeping wife. He didn't intend to go to sleep. He just wanted to look at his peaceful little family for a while longer.

It only took a minute more before Leah jumped onto the bed and curled up on his hip. He had no idea how that could possibly be comfortable. Not to be left out, Jake jumped up on the bed too. He came over, sniffed the baby, huffed his approval at Edward's diaper changing abilities, and curled up at his little master's feet.

Chuckling, Edward spared a pet for both the dog and the cat before he rested his hand on Bella's waist.

His family.

 _ **~6 Months Later~**_

"I can't believe you did this."

Bella quirked an eyebrow at her husband. "Excuse me? We've been together for an adequately long time now. How does this surprise you?"

Edward chuckled as he got their still-asleep child out of his carseat and settled him in his stroller. "I suppose you have a point there. It's just that you had to go through a lot of trouble to dress a baby as the Winter Soldier. It's not like it's a common costume."

"Hello? Your child is named after the Winter Soldier, and Captain America is out in DCA. How is this not a prerequisite for his first Disney trip?"

"Most parents want the first pic with Mickey."

Bella waved a hand. "Screw Mickey. The smartest thing Disney did was acquire Marvel and Star Wars. Our must-have photo ops today will be a Stucky pic and a Darth Vader pic. The latter preferably when Seb is beet red and crying."

Edward looked at her with a horrified expression. She stared back innocently. "What? Come on. We can have Vader pretend to be Force-choking him."

"Don't worry, kiddo," Edward said to his son. "I've got your back. I'll keep you safe from the sadistic Dark Lord your mother wants to subject you to."

"Vader wasn't a sadist. "

"He likes choking people. I think I've seen that porno."

"Now who's the crappy parent? Talking about porn in Disneyland."

By the time they go through security, got on and off the tram and made their way to the main gates, Sebastian was awake. They switched the stroller so he was sitting up, and watched him as he stared around at all the people and chaos. He craned his head, looking up at her. "Gah!" he exclaimed.

"Yes. Gah indeed," Bella agreed. She snapped a picture of him with that caption and sent it out on Instagram. Their viewers were dying to know how baby's first Disney visit went.

In another minute, Seb was festooned with buttons—First Visit and I'm Celebrating. He gurgled and poked at them with his tiny fingers, fascinated as they wheeled through California Adventures.

After a brief argument—mostly to get revenge for his snark—Bella insisted Edward be the one to take Sebastian up to meet Captain America. The woman beside her in line snickered at the sight. "I've read this fic."

"What?" Bella asked, not sure if she heard right.

The woman blushed and pointed between Captain America and the Winter Soldier baby. "Fanfic between them is a thing."

Bella grinned. "That's why this picture is happening."

The woman's eyes brightened. "And have you read de-aged fic? Like when one of them gets hit by some kind of prototype weapon and turns back into a kid that the other has to take care of until they can figure out how to fix it?"

"Yes!" Bella laughed. "Though I prefer de-aged Destiel to Stucky."

They were still chatting, heads bent together, when Edward came back with the baby. Edward stopped short, staring warily. "You found a geek."

"Yes. In a Starbucks in a galaxy far, far away." She flashed him a cheeky grin as she took her son from him.

"Or Los Angeles. You know. One of the two."

The stranger gasped. "Oh my God. I thought you looked familiar. I know you!"

Some minutes later, they'd bid goodbye to their fan and headed down to the wharf for a meal. Bella stayed with the baby while Edward got Mexican, and he stayed with the baby while she got Chinese.

When she got back to the table, Edward was staring across the way at something. She followed his gaze, spotting a ragtag group of kids being herded out toward the main park by a harried-looking pair of adults.

"What's wrong?" she asked, turning back to Edward.

"Nothing. Well…" He nodded in the direction of the group. "They're orphans. Or at least, that one is." He pointed to a dark-haired little girl, scowling as one of the adults adjusted his grip on her wrist.

Bella's lips tugged downward. "An ornery orphan?" she guessed. It wouldn't be the first time Edward saw himself in an angry child.

"Yeah. She was doing her damndest to pretend she didn't want to be here." He sighed and looked Bella right in the eyes. He rested his hand palm up on the table between them. His smile returned when she put her hand in his, and he squeezed her fingers. "I've been meaning to ask you something."

"What's that?"

"We don't want Seb to be an only child, right?"

Bella smiled. She thought she knew where this was going. "Right. Two kids."

"I know now isn't the time, but what would you think about adopting? When we're ready, I mean."

"Adopting an ornery orphan?"

Edward shrugged. "There are a lot of kids in the foster system. A lot of kids who need parents. I could love a kid who wasn't mine biologically. Like my mom and dad."

Bella got up. She went to his side of the table and squeezed him tightly to her. "I say we do it. I know it's old news now, but I've always wanted to go to Comic Con dressed as Daenerys with my kids dressed as dragons."

He snorted, wrapping an arm around her waist as he grinned at her. "Mother of dragons?"

"Exactly. And we do need more than one. Mother of dragon doesn't sound nearly as cool."

"So we'll do it for the cosplaying."

She nodded and then kissed his lips. "And because I love you." She kissed him again. "And I love seeing you as a father." And again. "And okay more kids does equal more cosplaying capabilities. Come on."

He laughed, taking her face between his hands. "You're such a geek." His expression turned tender. "I love you."

"I know."

* * *

 **A/N: Many thanks to my Facebook group for being a constant source of inspiration for this fic. I took several ideas from the group over the course of this fic. I'm sorry I'm not organized enough to thank everyone by name. It was a collaborative effort.**

 **Thank you to Mina, Betsy, Eleanor, Packy, MoH, and Julie for all their help as always. I have such a great team of amazing people with me.**

 **Thank YOU, reader for being so patient and kind. I'm glad you enjoyed this extraordinarily nerdy foray.**

 **Yes this is the end, although I'm sure if the nerdy itch ever needs to be scratched…**


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